Friends of Bill W.

[deeperstill]

Dear TK,

sending my warmest thoughts in your direction

[Soft*Silver]

right now, TK, you are my hero.,,

[TenderKnight]

deeperstill (love the name, btw ), thank you for your warm wishes and thoughts.. it helps

softness, I don't feel like a hero, but I thank you.. lol.. You know, being a lil out of the fog has let me see just how much people do care about me.. Tonight at work, my co-worker went to the store to get me soup.. and then cooked it for me, lol. She knows how bad I've been going through it..

Wow.. I just felt grateful.. lol.. Weird, it's been a couple of months. :/

It's going to be a raw time for me coming up.. But you know, I'm glad I almost have 24 hours right now.. So much is going through my brain, and I have to admit to looking forward to meeting with my sponcer again.. He's been my sponcer for almost two years now and he is a true friend.. My shame has kept me from contacting him, other then a short call here and there.. He told me that he loved me no matter what and if I just needed a friend, without meetings or steps, I had it. I am grateful for having him in my life.

I guess I just got all kinda of bogged down with myself and *my* plans that I ignored my Higher Power's plans.. But then, maybe this is part of it too.. I don't know. (keeps expecting the timer to go off on my share, lol). In any case, I wanted some play time and thought that being "free" to do whatever i wanted was the answer.. I was actually just locking myself up into my head and my apartment. Blah..

Anyway.. I am sober tonight. First time I can say that in a few months now. It feels good, but weird.. I'm also still in withdrawl, so I'm starving but can't get much down.. Soups and stuff work, but the thought of solid food turns my stomach.. Crackers work if I'm slow with them. Like I said, like the flu but without the fever and cough, lol.

Thank you both again.. Your words and thoughts have and continue to help me.

In Light,
Tony

[Soft*Silver]

when my fog lifted, I was disappointed at first, because all I saw was the sun rising. It wasnt until later that I realized it was the first sun rise I had seen in years.My senses were so deadened I didnt appreciate the gift of a new day. To me, when I use, I am like a spoiled kid who just expects to be handed things, like a sun rise. It didnt dawn on me that even tho it rose every day, I had to take notice and appreciate it.

your fog has lifted. You have always had people around you. Now you appreciate how they care about you...

enjoy those crackers...they are god's gift to the suffering person with an addiction. Thats right....god whispered in some executive's ear and soon enough, those crackers were just waiting for you....

yes sir..thats just how it happened...

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 22



The Landscape of Words



Paint takes time to dry; I work with words. I say azure and you are there with me, even if I am far from this mortal coil, my pigments stay fresh as long as you know blue, as long as you can hear me, read me, see me. I paint 6X8 cell and we are imprisoned together, trapped, til I tell you of the key I slipped into your shoe. I love the flow of watercolor, adore the mushy paste of oil, but nothing beats the world we paint and repaint here on this page.




Explain why frogs don’t have wings


*

GAME PLAYING

My Higher Power doesn’t play me like a board game.
Doesn’t monopolize my time or put me in jeopardy.
My trouble is my own.

I pursue trivia at my discretion.
I take or reject risk at will.
I scrabble my thoughts and am sorry when I make mistakes
.
But don’t expect to live in a candy land.
When I stick my hand in a mouse trap
Or fall down shoots and need to climb up ladders.

I know the game may not be over
But it is far too late to play let’s make a deal.

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 23



Before Ophelia


Young women drown themselves before Shakespeare immortalized, memorialized Ophelia. But having a poster child changes us. Cautionary tale or rallying cry, Ophelia is a hand to hold on dark cold days when the light is hard to find and everything seems bent toward destruction. Not that I think she solved anything with her despondent act just that she stands in the familiar frame I find myself in from time to time. When I imagine I’ve invented the wheel it makes it harder to step down and walk. Ophelia’s fate makes it easier to get off depression’s bus and find my way back home.





Press your excuses for truth

*

TOOTH FAIRY

I slide my hand under the pillow
And am disappointed not to find a quarter.
I feel I deserve one though I didn’t leave a tooth.
I did leave my bite, I’ve toned down my bark a bit too.
It has not been easy.

I’ve spent much of my life snapping and growling
At the world around me.
I have shortened the leash on these reactive behaviors
Many I have put to bed all together.

Improved conduct is prize enough
But I surely would enjoy a winged visitor
If only just for fun.

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 24


Speak!


Are there songs a bird must not sing while communing with the flock? Do fish learn to restrain their expressions while schooling? Or are we the only animal versed in the language of taboo? I wonder when I hear the cows lowing in the night are they giving whispered voice to things they longed to moo about all day. I know what to keep inside, things too flamboyant for out of doors. I understand to keep body and soul together I must keep down and hush, but when I complain to my pup does she comprehend or is it just blah, blah, blah, in her world of speak it like it is?




If your pallet is limited broaden your ideas

*


SHARING

Please take a bite of my PB&J,
I made it myself, it is fine as it is
I slathered the bread and cut it neatly
Still I can’t help but want to offer some to you.

I know to stand and smile next to you
Watch you lick the peanut butter from the roof of your mouth
Have you dab jelly from the corner of my lips
Will make this sandwich even better.

You bring so much to this meal
Something bright and clever --you bring you.
I can pull things together and set it all up
But somehow my creation is never quite complete
Until I share it with you.