what NOT to do in a relationship.......

TenderKnight · 08-01-2010, 01:30 PM

If you meet someone online and send them a picture, please have it be a recent one, meaning no longer then a year ago.. If you've changed a LOT from the picture you've sent and what you look like in real life, the truth WILL come out and yes, sometimes it does matter..

violaine · 08-01-2010, 01:52 PM

push me if i'm in need of space -

disrespect what is mine, your story is respected as it is an honour to listen to the journey of another human being as their story unfolds-

AtLast · 08-01-2010, 02:16 PM

This may sound trite, but, screaming at me just does not go over well. especially obscenities. Verbal abuse is verbal abuse. Not talking about raising one's voice to make a point or to get my attention. But, I will hear this and give my undivided attention so partner's have never had to go to the screech level.

ARGH... there is a lesbian couple living across the street from me and one of them is a mega ragea-holic. out of control and very loud!! I am so tired of hearing her scrteam at her partner. Why the partner stays is beyond me.

Besides, it's noise pollution and I don't want to know the details of their relationship issues. I wish they would get some help.. or just break up and move!!

Lynn · 08-01-2010, 02:26 PM

Don't tell me how to spend money.

Don't try to dictate my priorities.

It isn't necessary for us to enjoy all the same things, but don't belittle my interests. Same for my friends and my aspirations.

JustJo · 08-01-2010, 02:30 PM

Please do not:

tell me how I "should" be...I am who and how I am...and my way of being is as a valid as yours
rage at me...I cannot hear you if you shout, accuse or cuss. My brain and emotions shut down and I stop being able to hear
put others before me all the time. Yes, others count and will be first sometimes, but I should not always be last on the list
pretend that my reality isn't what it is...if you hate kids, cats, or stubborn women...then I'm not the woman for you
expect me to read your mind...tell me what you want, what you think and how you feel. I will always listen....but I need you to tell me
close down on me verbally, sexually or emotionally. If you need space, tell me and I'll honor that...but if you just "leave" don't be surprised when I react by feeling abandoned

Diva · 08-01-2010, 02:34 PM

....wash my red t~shirt with His white ones.....

Oooooooo ....that was a bad day.....

Bard · 08-01-2010, 06:03 PM

Judge me I am who and what I am your approval is not needed.. it has taken me a long time to get here...
Play games with my mind and my heart if you say something mean it

call me names try to break me down even in a passive agressive way .. just cause I am country don't mean I am dumb

play on my insecurities I don't let many close for that reason I will not hand you the knife to cut with with

DO NOT ever say or be disrespectful of my dad or the rest of my family we may be a odd bunch but we are family

Don't refer to my Skyler as " that horse " she is my baby so there

bright_arrow · 08-01-2010, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bard

Judge me I am who and what I am your approval is not needed.. it has taken me a long time to get here...
Play games with my mind and my heart if you say something mean it

call me names try to break me down even in a passive agressive way .. just cause I am country don't mean I am dumb

play on my insecurities I don't let many close for that reason I will not hand you the knife to cut with with

DO NOT ever say or be disrespectful of my dad or the rest of my family we may be a odd bunch but we are family

Don't refer to my Skyler as " that horse " she is my baby so there

Or a 'he'. She's a SHE!

Arwen · 08-01-2010, 07:18 PM

Do not expect me to fold your clothes the way your mother/grandmother/ex did. If you are picky about it, do it yourself.
Do not put my cast iron skillet in the dishwasher.
Do not expect me to cook every meal. You are fully capable of it too.
Do not expect to take out the garbage every time. I am fully capable of it too.
Do not ask me if we have to keep my antiques. The answer is no WE don't, but I am.
Do not expect me to not be friends with someone just because you are not.

As always, the reverse is true of me for you.

TenderKnight · 08-01-2010, 02:39 PM

A few people have stated something along these lines, but I will add to the do not list..

Do not scream and rage at me in public and expect a reaction.. I shut down and if you think that means that I don't care or am not a Top, frankly, fuck you, I'm gone.

Do not scream at me and expect the same in return, again, I shut down and I'm confused and hurting at this point.

Do not think that just because I'm a switch that I can be pushed around.

Do not expect me to be a role.. I'm a human being and I have feelings and sometimes I just CAN'T be your Dad.

Do not belittle me in public. Not in front of friends and CERTAINLY not in front of or IN my work place.. Show some fucking class.

Do not expect me to be perfect and to be your Knight in shining armor.. Underneath that armor is a human being who can be a Knight but can also be a scared little boy.

That being said.. I still have a lot of hurt and anger going on.. Can you tell? lol

dark_crystal · 08-01-2010, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TenderKnight

Do not expect me to be a role.. I'm a human being and I have feelings and sometimes I just CAN'T be your Dad.

this has been an issue for me in past D/s relationships...it is tricky because there are times when one or both of us may have to step out of the dynamic...but i do think it shoud be formally announced when it is happening...if we are both jumping in and out of the dynamic things can break down real quick

Dean Thoreau · 08-01-2010, 06:40 PM

DO NOT............................. assume or think or presume you are perfect and infallible...and I promise I will try to remember I am not either.
Remember we got involved with each other for the same reason ,,we each saw something, liked something, loved something in each other...Now let us both do each other a favor and remember that when we see all the crap that comes with that something we fell in love with!

Rook · 08-01-2010, 02:45 PM

Mind if I add one?
It's not a biggie, No paragraphs, no cynical tone....

Don't LIE

Why? Because eventually, I'll find out...
And when I do, try not to have a "wtf??" expression when I tell you to get fucked, get bent, go to your side of hell and stay the FUCK away me, it insults my intelligence.

08-01-2010, 01:30 PM	#1
TenderKnight Member How Do You Identify?: Kinky Poly Transman Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Monroe, NC Posts: 551 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 773 Thanked 822 Times in 256 Posts Rep Power: 2402408	If you meet someone online and send them a picture, please have it be a recent one, meaning no longer then a year ago.. If you've changed a LOT from the picture you've sent and what you look like in real life, the truth WILL come out and yes, sometimes it does matter.. __________________ The beatings shall continue.. until moral improves..

08-01-2010, 02:26 PM	#4
Lynn Member How Do You Identify?: Unabashed Feminine Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Her, She Relationship Status: Married! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 689 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,499 Thanked 2,413 Times in 505 Posts Rep Power: 9668976	Don't tell me how to spend money. Don't try to dictate my priorities. It isn't necessary for us to enjoy all the same things, but don't belittle my interests. Same for my friends and my aspirations. __________________ In the flush of love's light we dare be brave And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free. Maya Angelou Wedding Photos: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?...1&l=22b092b98c

08-01-2010, 02:30 PM	#5
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,404 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Please do not: tell me how I "should" be...I am who and how I am...and my way of being is as a valid as yours rage at me...I cannot hear you if you shout, accuse or cuss. My brain and emotions shut down and I stop being able to hear put others before me all the time. Yes, others count and will be first sometimes, but I should not always be last on the list pretend that my reality isn't what it is...if you hate kids, cats, or stubborn women...then I'm not the woman for you expect me to read your mind...tell me what you want, what you think and how you feel. I will always listen....but I need you to tell me close down on me verbally, sexually or emotionally. If you need space, tell me and I'll honor that...but if you just "leave" don't be surprised when I react by feeling abandoned __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

08-01-2010, 06:03 PM	#7
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Judge me I am who and what I am your approval is not needed.. it has taken me a long time to get here... Play games with my mind and my heart if you say something mean it call me names try to break me down even in a passive agressive way .. just cause I am country don't mean I am dumb play on my insecurities I don't let many close for that reason I will not hand you the knife to cut with with DO NOT ever say or be disrespectful of my dad or the rest of my family we may be a odd bunch but we are family Don't refer to my Skyler as " that horse " she is my baby so there __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

08-01-2010, 07:18 PM	#9
Arwen Joy Seeker How Do You Identify?: Smartly-Flavored Preferred Pronoun?: Goddess Relationship Status: Mrs. Syzygy 1/9/14 Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Joyville, NM (aka Land of Enchantment) Posts: 10,140 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,636 Thanked 28,107 Times in 6,411 Posts Rep Power: 21474863	Do not expect me to fold your clothes the way your mother/grandmother/ex did. If you are picky about it, do it yourself. Do not put my cast iron skillet in the dishwasher. Do not expect me to cook every meal. You are fully capable of it too. Do not expect to take out the garbage every time. I am fully capable of it too. Do not ask me if we have to keep my antiques. The answer is no WE don't, but I am. Do not expect me to not be friends with someone just because you are not. As always, the reverse is true of me for you. __________________ I wrote a book, y'all! *FREE* Tarotscopes Seek Joy, y'all. Eschew hate. 9Words: A Poetry Challenge \| Do you like me?

08-01-2010, 01:52 PM	#2
violaine Timed Out How Do You Identify?: atypical Preferred Pronoun?: plague words and phrases Relationship Status: love wise guys of the avian world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: wekiva springs basin Posts: 3,236 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,934 Thanked 3,293 Times in 1,301 Posts Rep Power: 0	push me if i'm in need of space - disrespect what is mine, your story is respected as it is an honour to listen to the journey of another human being as their story unfolds-

08-01-2010, 02:16 PM	#3
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	This may sound trite, but, screaming at me just does not go over well. especially obscenities. Verbal abuse is verbal abuse. Not talking about raising one's voice to make a point or to get my attention. But, I will hear this and give my undivided attention so partner's have never had to go to the screech level. ARGH... there is a lesbian couple living across the street from me and one of them is a mega ragea-holic. out of control and very loud!! I am so tired of hearing her scrteam at her partner. Why the partner stays is beyond me. Besides, it's noise pollution and I don't want to know the details of their relationship issues. I wish they would get some help.. or just break up and move!!

08-01-2010, 02:34 PM	#6
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,175 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	....wash my red t~shirt with His white ones..... Oooooooo ....that was a bad day.....

08-01-2010, 02:39 PM	#10
TenderKnight Member How Do You Identify?: Kinky Poly Transman Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Monroe, NC Posts: 551 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 773 Thanked 822 Times in 256 Posts Rep Power: 2402408	A few people have stated something along these lines, but I will add to the do not list.. Do not scream and rage at me in public and expect a reaction.. I shut down and if you think that means that I don't care or am not a Top, frankly, fuck you, I'm gone. Do not scream at me and expect the same in return, again, I shut down and I'm confused and hurting at this point. Do not think that just because I'm a switch that I can be pushed around. Do not expect me to be a role.. I'm a human being and I have feelings and sometimes I just CAN'T be your Dad. Do not belittle me in public. Not in front of friends and CERTAINLY not in front of or IN my work place.. Show some fucking class. Do not expect me to be perfect and to be your Knight in shining armor.. Underneath that armor is a human being who can be a Knight but can also be a scared little boy. That being said.. I still have a lot of hurt and anger going on.. Can you tell? lol __________________ The beatings shall continue.. until moral improves..

08-01-2010, 06:40 PM	#12
Dean Thoreau Member How Do You Identify?: Ftm - Male- exfemale Preferred Pronoun?: He’s Him Relationship Status: Has a gf Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Philadelphia pa Posts: 889 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 251 Thanked 762 Times in 219 Posts Rep Power: 4529750	DO NOT............................. assume or think or presume you are perfect and infallible...and I promise I will try to remember I am not either. Remember we got involved with each other for the same reason ,,we each saw something, liked something, loved something in each other...Now let us both do each other a favor and remember that when we see all the crap that comes with that something we fell in love with! __________________ Dean Thoreau

08-01-2010, 02:45 PM	#13
Rook Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?: Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Columbus Posts: 2,280 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,227 Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Mind if I add one? It's not a biggie, No paragraphs, no cynical tone.... Don't LIE Why? Because eventually, I'll find out... And when I do, try not to have a "wtf??" expression when I tell you to get fucked, get bent, go to your side of hell and stay the FUCK away me, it insults my intelligence. __________________