what NOT to do in a relationship.......

JustJo · 08-01-2010, 02:30 PM

Please do not:

tell me how I "should" be...I am who and how I am...and my way of being is as a valid as yours
rage at me...I cannot hear you if you shout, accuse or cuss. My brain and emotions shut down and I stop being able to hear
put others before me all the time. Yes, others count and will be first sometimes, but I should not always be last on the list
pretend that my reality isn't what it is...if you hate kids, cats, or stubborn women...then I'm not the woman for you
expect me to read your mind...tell me what you want, what you think and how you feel. I will always listen....but I need you to tell me
close down on me verbally, sexually or emotionally. If you need space, tell me and I'll honor that...but if you just "leave" don't be surprised when I react by feeling abandoned

Diva · 08-01-2010, 02:34 PM

....wash my red t~shirt with His white ones.....

Oooooooo ....that was a bad day.....

Bard · 08-01-2010, 06:03 PM

Judge me I am who and what I am your approval is not needed.. it has taken me a long time to get here...
Play games with my mind and my heart if you say something mean it

call me names try to break me down even in a passive agressive way .. just cause I am country don't mean I am dumb

play on my insecurities I don't let many close for that reason I will not hand you the knife to cut with with

DO NOT ever say or be disrespectful of my dad or the rest of my family we may be a odd bunch but we are family

Don't refer to my Skyler as " that horse " she is my baby so there

bright_arrow · 08-01-2010, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bard

Judge me I am who and what I am your approval is not needed.. it has taken me a long time to get here...
Play games with my mind and my heart if you say something mean it

call me names try to break me down even in a passive agressive way .. just cause I am country don't mean I am dumb

play on my insecurities I don't let many close for that reason I will not hand you the knife to cut with with

DO NOT ever say or be disrespectful of my dad or the rest of my family we may be a odd bunch but we are family

Don't refer to my Skyler as " that horse " she is my baby so there

Or a 'he'. She's a SHE!

Arwen · 08-01-2010, 07:18 PM

Do not expect me to fold your clothes the way your mother/grandmother/ex did. If you are picky about it, do it yourself.
Do not put my cast iron skillet in the dishwasher.
Do not expect me to cook every meal. You are fully capable of it too.
Do not expect to take out the garbage every time. I am fully capable of it too.
Do not ask me if we have to keep my antiques. The answer is no WE don't, but I am.
Do not expect me to not be friends with someone just because you are not.

As always, the reverse is true of me for you.

TenderKnight · 08-01-2010, 02:39 PM

A few people have stated something along these lines, but I will add to the do not list..

Do not scream and rage at me in public and expect a reaction.. I shut down and if you think that means that I don't care or am not a Top, frankly, fuck you, I'm gone.

Do not scream at me and expect the same in return, again, I shut down and I'm confused and hurting at this point.

Do not think that just because I'm a switch that I can be pushed around.

Do not expect me to be a role.. I'm a human being and I have feelings and sometimes I just CAN'T be your Dad.

Do not belittle me in public. Not in front of friends and CERTAINLY not in front of or IN my work place.. Show some fucking class.

Do not expect me to be perfect and to be your Knight in shining armor.. Underneath that armor is a human being who can be a Knight but can also be a scared little boy.

That being said.. I still have a lot of hurt and anger going on.. Can you tell? lol

dark_crystal · 08-01-2010, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TenderKnight

Do not expect me to be a role.. I'm a human being and I have feelings and sometimes I just CAN'T be your Dad.

this has been an issue for me in past D/s relationships...it is tricky because there are times when one or both of us may have to step out of the dynamic...but i do think it shoud be formally announced when it is happening...if we are both jumping in and out of the dynamic things can break down real quick

Dean Thoreau · 08-01-2010, 06:40 PM

DO NOT............................. assume or think or presume you are perfect and infallible...and I promise I will try to remember I am not either.
Remember we got involved with each other for the same reason ,,we each saw something, liked something, loved something in each other...Now let us both do each other a favor and remember that when we see all the crap that comes with that something we fell in love with!

Rockinonahigh · 08-01-2010, 07:23 PM

We have posted a lot of what not to do,soooo how about a fue of what too do.Hear are a fue of mine...

Understand if I am in a relationship with u it will be the first one that I have been in.Yeah,ive dated and had a fue women friends with benefits over the years,but we both knew what we were geting into cause nither wanted anything else..

My trust and heart are guarded by a gate with an iron lock,for me to open it u will be dificult in many ways because of being used,lied to,made a fool of ect,ect..give me time to realise its ok to let u in.

Understand that I dont do abuse in any way..I will be gone in a flash.

I was the abandond child who was barely part of the family.If it hadnt been for my grand folks and an aunt and uncle who passed way to soon I wouldnt know what a good relationship was

I grew up knowing two sets of rules to live by..theires and mine,in no way were they anywhere the same.

As we get to know each other please realise im going to have to get use to beleaving someone could really care enough to love me.

I havent had many soft places to fall,so if I dont let u in when u think I should have..lets talk it out,I promiss to do better next time.

Well these are a fue,no im not a basket case because of what ive gone thrue
cause over the years I have become who I am and am at peace with all the things life has thrown at me

The_Lady_Snow · 08-01-2010, 07:31 PM

DO NOT eat ALL the Salt and Vinegar chips!

miss entycing · 08-01-2010, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

DO NOT eat ALL the Salt and Vinegar chips!

ANDDD all MY er, I mean...the chocolate-
you will not 'cute' your way outta that.

Rook · 08-01-2010, 02:45 PM

Mind if I add one?
It's not a biggie, No paragraphs, no cynical tone....

Don't LIE

Why? Because eventually, I'll find out...
And when I do, try not to have a "wtf??" expression when I tell you to get fucked, get bent, go to your side of hell and stay the FUCK away me, it insults my intelligence.

08-01-2010, 02:30 PM	#1
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,404 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Please do not: tell me how I "should" be...I am who and how I am...and my way of being is as a valid as yours rage at me...I cannot hear you if you shout, accuse or cuss. My brain and emotions shut down and I stop being able to hear put others before me all the time. Yes, others count and will be first sometimes, but I should not always be last on the list pretend that my reality isn't what it is...if you hate kids, cats, or stubborn women...then I'm not the woman for you expect me to read your mind...tell me what you want, what you think and how you feel. I will always listen....but I need you to tell me close down on me verbally, sexually or emotionally. If you need space, tell me and I'll honor that...but if you just "leave" don't be surprised when I react by feeling abandoned __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

08-01-2010, 06:03 PM	#3
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Judge me I am who and what I am your approval is not needed.. it has taken me a long time to get here... Play games with my mind and my heart if you say something mean it call me names try to break me down even in a passive agressive way .. just cause I am country don't mean I am dumb play on my insecurities I don't let many close for that reason I will not hand you the knife to cut with with DO NOT ever say or be disrespectful of my dad or the rest of my family we may be a odd bunch but we are family Don't refer to my Skyler as " that horse " she is my baby so there __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

08-01-2010, 07:18 PM	#5
Arwen Joy Seeker How Do You Identify?: Smartly-Flavored Preferred Pronoun?: Goddess Relationship Status: Mrs. Syzygy 1/9/14 Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Joyville, NM (aka Land of Enchantment) Posts: 10,140 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,636 Thanked 28,107 Times in 6,411 Posts Rep Power: 21474863	Do not expect me to fold your clothes the way your mother/grandmother/ex did. If you are picky about it, do it yourself. Do not put my cast iron skillet in the dishwasher. Do not expect me to cook every meal. You are fully capable of it too. Do not expect to take out the garbage every time. I am fully capable of it too. Do not ask me if we have to keep my antiques. The answer is no WE don't, but I am. Do not expect me to not be friends with someone just because you are not. As always, the reverse is true of me for you. __________________ I wrote a book, y'all! *FREE* Tarotscopes Seek Joy, y'all. Eschew hate. 9Words: A Poetry Challenge \| Do you like me?

08-01-2010, 02:39 PM	#6
TenderKnight Member How Do You Identify?: Kinky Poly Transman Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Monroe, NC Posts: 551 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 773 Thanked 822 Times in 256 Posts Rep Power: 2402408	A few people have stated something along these lines, but I will add to the do not list.. Do not scream and rage at me in public and expect a reaction.. I shut down and if you think that means that I don't care or am not a Top, frankly, fuck you, I'm gone. Do not scream at me and expect the same in return, again, I shut down and I'm confused and hurting at this point. Do not think that just because I'm a switch that I can be pushed around. Do not expect me to be a role.. I'm a human being and I have feelings and sometimes I just CAN'T be your Dad. Do not belittle me in public. Not in front of friends and CERTAINLY not in front of or IN my work place.. Show some fucking class. Do not expect me to be perfect and to be your Knight in shining armor.. Underneath that armor is a human being who can be a Knight but can also be a scared little boy. That being said.. I still have a lot of hurt and anger going on.. Can you tell? lol __________________ The beatings shall continue.. until moral improves..

08-01-2010, 06:40 PM	#8
Dean Thoreau Member How Do You Identify?: Ftm - Male- exfemale Preferred Pronoun?: He’s Him Relationship Status: Has a gf Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Philadelphia pa Posts: 889 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 251 Thanked 762 Times in 219 Posts Rep Power: 4529750	DO NOT............................. assume or think or presume you are perfect and infallible...and I promise I will try to remember I am not either. Remember we got involved with each other for the same reason ,,we each saw something, liked something, loved something in each other...Now let us both do each other a favor and remember that when we see all the crap that comes with that something we fell in love with! __________________ Dean Thoreau

08-01-2010, 02:34 PM	#2
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,175 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	....wash my red t~shirt with His white ones..... Oooooooo ....that was a bad day.....

08-01-2010, 07:23 PM	#9
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	We have posted a lot of what not to do,soooo how about a fue of what too do.Hear are a fue of mine... Understand if I am in a relationship with u it will be the first one that I have been in.Yeah,ive dated and had a fue women friends with benefits over the years,but we both knew what we were geting into cause nither wanted anything else.. My trust and heart are guarded by a gate with an iron lock,for me to open it u will be dificult in many ways because of being used,lied to,made a fool of ect,ect..give me time to realise its ok to let u in. Understand that I dont do abuse in any way..I will be gone in a flash. I was the abandond child who was barely part of the family.If it hadnt been for my grand folks and an aunt and uncle who passed way to soon I wouldnt know what a good relationship was I grew up knowing two sets of rules to live by..theires and mine,in no way were they anywhere the same. As we get to know each other please realise im going to have to get use to beleaving someone could really care enough to love me. I havent had many soft places to fall,so if I dont let u in when u think I should have..lets talk it out,I promiss to do better next time. Well these are a fue,no im not a basket case because of what ive gone thrue cause over the years I have become who I am and am at peace with all the things life has thrown at me

08-01-2010, 07:31 PM	#10
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,076 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474875	DO NOT eat ALL the Salt and Vinegar chips! __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

08-01-2010, 02:45 PM	#12
Rook Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?: Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Columbus Posts: 2,280 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,227 Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Mind if I add one? It's not a biggie, No paragraphs, no cynical tone.... Don't LIE Why? Because eventually, I'll find out... And when I do, try not to have a "wtf??" expression when I tell you to get fucked, get bent, go to your side of hell and stay the FUCK away me, it insults my intelligence. __________________