what NOT to do in a relationship.......

PearlsNLace · 08-18-2010, 07:16 PM

This one I learned the hard way-

Dont agree to monogamy, when you are really wanting polyamoury. And Vice Versa!!! The resentments that built on this choice had me doing 4th step work for m o n t h s. UGH.

chefhmboyrd · 09-07-2010, 10:23 AM

don't try to hide or cover up for something.
own up to it and apologize, then work on not letting it happen again.
nobody is perfect, but we can strive

Kobi · 09-07-2010, 11:15 AM

If I am totally engrossed in something that requires a lot of concentration, please do not interrupt me at 9am to ask me what I want for lunch.

Warning, football season starts Thursday night. Need I say more?

pajama · 09-07-2010, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PearlsNLace

This one I learned the hard way-

Dont agree to monogamy, when you are really wanting polyamoury. And Vice Versa!!! The resentments that built on this choice had me doing 4th step work for m o n t h s. UGH.

Amen! Amen! and AMEN! Sister.

miss entycing · 10-17-2010, 03:11 PM

don't flippin keep lying to me then expect me to believe anything you tell me later.
and don't get all bent when I remind you of the above either!

if we argue, don't throw it out there that someone else would treat you better-
really, if that's the case- then get your ass out and go get her.

and don't expect me to sit idly while you make up your mind about the above,
or while you play around with different versions of ME.
if you can.... then so will I.

don't take me for granted.... ever.

and for cripes sake.... don't eat all but 1 of the oreo's.
that's uncalled for.

Gentle Tiger · 10-17-2010, 04:53 PM

Don't go knockin' my pop tarts!

Ok seriously, don't yack my ear off as soon as I come through the door. I need a few minutes to breathe, go to the bathroom or whatever before I am ready to engage and listen.

bigbutchmistie · 10-17-2010, 04:53 PM

Dont make me your option and everything and everyone else your priority... I will walk every time

Dont get denfensive when I try and talk to you about problems.

Never ever hold affection or sex over my head as a form of punishment cause you are mad at me...

When I try and be affectionate with you never ever turn me away.

Dont ever get jealous of my femme friends. They were here before you got here and will always be around. I do however know how to make YOU priority as my girl. And you will never feel less than MOST important in my life.

Do not physically or emotionally abuse me or attempt to make me feel less than in any way. Talk down to me or scream at me too and I will walk away in a heartbeat

Dont white lie or lie. Tell me straight up. If you are my best friend and Im with you there should be no lies or white lies between us. I should trust you without reservation or question

Dont cheat emotionally or physically.

Soft*Silver · 10-17-2010, 05:24 PM

dont play me as a fool. Dont misjudge how many brain cells I have active...or rely on how much leeway your charm will buy you. The days are long gone where I abide to be with someone who will do either with me

dont tell me what to say or do or wear. I let one person in my life do that. And looking back, he wore stained clothes, smelled like manure and spouted hateful things against minorities most of the time. Again, the days are long gone where I abide to be with someone who will do this to me again.

rlin · 10-17-2010, 06:10 PM

make her earn your trust...
for goddess sake...
listen to your fukn guts...

they dont lie... most times.... if you think it... it will be so... unless of course you might be a paranoiac... then... ignore this message...

Kobi · 10-17-2010, 06:35 PM

always remember and never forget:

~ trust your instincts. Call it womens intuition, gut feeling, the voice of experience....if you feel it, there is a good reason for it. Ignore it at your own peril.

~ never get drawn into gimmicks, personas, images and the like. Reality is a lot more satisfying than fantasy.

~ differences may attract, be exciting for a bit, invigorating for a while but it is sameness and similarity which brings peace and harmony.

~ seek that which will surround you with peace and positivity. Not difficult. Just choose the opposite of your initial impression. Sorry, private joke.

~ if it makes you think too much, rationalize at all, makes you unsettled, makes you uncomfortable, makes you question "can I live with this?" - turn and walk in the other direction. Good things seldom require that much effort.

09-07-2010, 10:23 AM	#2
chefhmboyrd Senior Member How Do You Identify?: man Preferred Pronoun?: beef Relationship Status: Uncle Daddy Snap Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: nashvegas Posts: 1,607 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,411 Thanked 2,846 Times in 898 Posts Rep Power: 14271905	don't try to hide or cover up for something. own up to it and apologize, then work on not letting it happen again. nobody is perfect, but we can strive __________________ what's a cowboy got to do to get a drink around here?

10-17-2010, 03:11 PM	#5
miss entycing Senior Member How Do You Identify?: dangerous, but worth the risk. Preferred Pronoun?: just be nice.. it's that easy. Relationship Status: CapitalM's carved upon my skin. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: on the southern edge of sanity, under a carolina moon. Posts: 3,276 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,341 Thanked 8,262 Times in 2,254 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	don't flippin keep lying to me then expect me to believe anything you tell me later. and don't get all bent when I remind you of the above either! if we argue, don't throw it out there that someone else would treat you better- really, if that's the case- then get your ass out and go get her. and don't expect me to sit idly while you make up your mind about the above, or while you play around with different versions of ME. if you can.... then so will I. don't take me for granted.... ever. and for cripes sake.... don't eat all but 1 of the oreo's. that's uncalled for. __________________ True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate their life, through devotion, to something beyond themselves. Whenever someone awakens fully, it affects human consciousness at a collective level. It is like dropping a stone into a dark murky pond. Ripples of light... Not one word need be spoken.

10-17-2010, 04:53 PM	#6
Gentle Tiger Moderator How Do You Identify?: As a Tiger of course Preferred Pronoun?: Not the Old Man Relationship Status: Two Tigers Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Northern California Posts: 7,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,001 Thanked 15,990 Times in 3,992 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Don't go knockin' my pop tarts! Ok seriously, don't yack my ear off as soon as I come through the door. I need a few minutes to breathe, go to the bathroom or whatever before I am ready to engage and listen. __________________ Please like

10-17-2010, 04:53 PM	#7
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Dont make me your option and everything and everyone else your priority... I will walk every time Dont get denfensive when I try and talk to you about problems. Never ever hold affection or sex over my head as a form of punishment cause you are mad at me... When I try and be affectionate with you never ever turn me away. Dont ever get jealous of my femme friends. They were here before you got here and will always be around. I do however know how to make YOU priority as my girl. And you will never feel less than MOST important in my life. Do not physically or emotionally abuse me or attempt to make me feel less than in any way. Talk down to me or scream at me too and I will walk away in a heartbeat Dont white lie or lie. Tell me straight up. If you are my best friend and Im with you there should be no lies or white lies between us. I should trust you without reservation or question Dont cheat emotionally or physically. Last edited by bigbutchmistie; 10-17-2010 at 05:08 PM.

10-17-2010, 05:24 PM	#8
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,906 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	dont play me as a fool. Dont misjudge how many brain cells I have active...or rely on how much leeway your charm will buy you. The days are long gone where I abide to be with someone who will do either with me dont tell me what to say or do or wear. I let one person in my life do that. And looking back, he wore stained clothes, smelled like manure and spouted hateful things against minorities most of the time. Again, the days are long gone where I abide to be with someone who will do this to me again. __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

08-18-2010, 07:16 PM	#1
PearlsNLace Member How Do You Identify?: queer Preferred Pronoun?: They/Them & her/she Relationship Status: Lucky, very lucky Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Portlandia, Oregon Posts: 427 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 875 Thanked 1,286 Times in 315 Posts Rep Power: 6505517	This one I learned the hard way- Dont agree to monogamy, when you are really wanting polyamoury. And Vice Versa!!! The resentments that built on this choice had me doing 4th step work for m o n t h s. UGH.

09-07-2010, 11:15 AM	#3
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,630 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	If I am totally engrossed in something that requires a lot of concentration, please do not interrupt me at 9am to ask me what I want for lunch. Warning, football season starts Thursday night. Need I say more?

10-17-2010, 06:10 PM	#9
rlin Member How Do You Identify?: human Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: nomad Posts: 712 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,450 Thanked 1,189 Times in 451 Posts Rep Power: 1004849	make her earn your trust... for goddess sake... listen to your fukn guts... they dont lie... most times.... if you think it... it will be so... unless of course you might be a paranoiac... then... ignore this message...

10-17-2010, 06:35 PM	#10
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,630 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	message to self..... always remember and never forget: ~ trust your instincts. Call it womens intuition, gut feeling, the voice of experience....if you feel it, there is a good reason for it. Ignore it at your own peril. ~ never get drawn into gimmicks, personas, images and the like. Reality is a lot more satisfying than fantasy. ~ differences may attract, be exciting for a bit, invigorating for a while but it is sameness and similarity which brings peace and harmony. ~ seek that which will surround you with peace and positivity. Not difficult. Just choose the opposite of your initial impression. Sorry, private joke. ~ if it makes you think too much, rationalize at all, makes you unsettled, makes you uncomfortable, makes you question "can I live with this?" - turn and walk in the other direction. Good things seldom require that much effort.