Poly Relationships

Linus · 12-08-2009, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deadyboy

You must have misread that Linus. I said "I wonder if it would make life/relationships more enjoyable"? I'm just a curious kinda guy

Ok. Now I'm really confused. The quote I referred from you have above has:

It's something I've thought of more in recent years anyway and wonder if it would make life/relationships easier, more enjoyable?

Either way... it can but it can also make things more difficult. If the expectation that this will solve everything... eh. I dunno. Can it make things easier? In some ways, I think it can (there is a support system around for everyone -- kinda like the concept of a commune in the past). It should result in greater communication and more openness on relationships. A lot of it will depend on how the relationship dynamic is configured.

I do think that it can open up more love opportunities because you can keep your primary relationship while having others that meet the needs that your primary (if you a primary/secondary kind of setup) is unable to or won't meet. It doesn't mean that you love them less but rather that you love them as they are and still have those other needs (whatever they may be) met.

Hopefully that makes sense.

MrSunshine · 12-08-2009, 02:15 PM

I can see where that might seem vague. I guess I expect you to read my mind Linus. I was really just being curious out loud I suppose.
I don't see it as solving everything per se but I think if, like I said before about the right mix, was there it could be an outstanding situation.
One thing for sure is I can't do chaos. If I can't live in harmony with someone/s I would rather be alone.

Linus · 12-08-2009, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deadyboy

I can see where that might seem vague. I guess I expect you to read my mind Linus. I was really just being curious out loud I suppose.
I don't see it as solving everything per se but I think if, like I said before about the right mix, was there it could be an outstanding situation.
One thing for sure is I can't do chaos. If I can't live in harmony with someone/s I would rather be alone.

Oh sure. I know quite a few great poly families where this works great.

Andrew, Jr. · 12-08-2009, 02:24 PM

I know a few poly families where it has worked for them. But the main thing is to talk about it. Communication is key.

Linus · 12-08-2009, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

I know a few poly families where it has worked for them. But the main thing is to talk about it. Communication is key.

That's a paramount in any relationship (e.g. Friendship, family, etc.) but is highlighted in a poly one, for sure.

cara · 12-08-2009, 02:27 PM

poly is not for everyone and anyone who thinks it may make your life easier/less complicated is looking through rose-colored glasses. my experiences with poly have been mixed. at this point, i would say its not for me. however, who is to say what the future may hold? trying to keep this message short and to the point since i am posting from my phone. hugs! ~cara

Linus · 12-08-2009, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cara

poly is not for everyone and anyone who thinks it may make your life easier/less complicated is looking through rose-colored glasses. my experiences with poly have been mixed. at this point, i would say its not for me. however, who is to say what the future may hold? trying to keep this message short and to the point since i am posting from my phone. hugs! ~cara

I will agree with that although it applies to any relationship. Some times they work, sometimes.. not so much. Knowing whether it's for you or not is a good thing and an important understanding.

sharkchomp · 12-08-2009, 04:04 PM

I think one of the biggest challenges with poly relationships is being intimate with someone but not being jealous or possessive (for me). I'm sure there are other issues for people but for myself this is the biggest issue. When I am in a poly relationship I tend to keep someone at a distance to avoid my own personal hang ups (being possessive and jealous).

~~~shark~~~~~~~~

Bootboi · 12-08-2009, 04:53 PM

I once fancied myself as being able to maintain a status of poly. I quickly learned that it was more than enough emotional work to maintain a relationship with one person. I could never see myslf as poly. I'm also selfish and I dont share well with others.

Locutus · 12-22-2009, 05:08 PM

I can totally relate. I've attempted it once or twice but have faced up to the fact that it simply doesn't work for me because I am possessive and don't share well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bootboi

I once fancied myself as being able to maintain a status of poly. I quickly learned that it was more than enough emotional work to maintain a relationship with one person. I could never see myslf as poly. I'm also selfish and I dont share well with others.

12-08-2009, 04:04 PM	#8
sharkchomp Member How Do You Identify?: TG/stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Knoxville Posts: 426 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 419 Thanked 1,343 Times in 309 Posts Rep Power: 9701639	I think one of the biggest challenges with poly relationships is being intimate with someone but not being jealous or possessive (for me). I'm sure there are other issues for people but for myself this is the biggest issue. When I am in a poly relationship I tend to keep someone at a distance to avoid my own personal hang ups (being possessive and jealous). ~~~shark~~~~~~~~ __________________ take a fish boating

12-08-2009, 02:15 PM	#2
MrSunshine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The Gardner Preferred Pronoun?: Ummmm Relationship Status: Nah Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sunshine State, State of Sunshine Posts: 2,616 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,577 Thanked 3,891 Times in 1,155 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I can see where that might seem vague. I guess I expect you to read my mind Linus. I was really just being curious out loud I suppose. I don't see it as solving everything per se but I think if, like I said before about the right mix, was there it could be an outstanding situation. One thing for sure is I can't do chaos. If I can't live in harmony with someone/s I would rather be alone.

12-08-2009, 02:24 PM	#4
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	I know a few poly families where it has worked for them. But the main thing is to talk about it. Communication is key.

12-08-2009, 02:27 PM	#6
cara Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer/lesbian femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: Married to my love 08.15.15 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 3,401 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,995 Thanked 13,255 Times in 2,725 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	poly is not for everyone and anyone who thinks it may make your life easier/less complicated is looking through rose-colored glasses. my experiences with poly have been mixed. at this point, i would say its not for me. however, who is to say what the future may hold? trying to keep this message short and to the point since i am posting from my phone. hugs! ~cara

12-08-2009, 04:53 PM	#9
Bootboi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Bear Preferred Pronoun?: Mister Bear.. lol actually whatever not a big deal to me. Relationship Status: Solo sauntering along Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota Posts: 216 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 127 Thanked 327 Times in 107 Posts Rep Power: 2089261	I once fancied myself as being able to maintain a status of poly. I quickly learned that it was more than enough emotional work to maintain a relationship with one person. I could never see myslf as poly. I'm also selfish and I dont share well with others.