Obituaries

[Diva]

Very good thread, Kobi, thanks!

I have started planning so my daughter or Shari won't have to do this. The music ~ which is so important to me ~ is just about done. I don't want a sad affair....but rather a celebration.

That being said, my obit has not been written, and I guess I'd better do that....thanks for the reminder!

[Diva]

And yes, Kobi.....cookies will be served at my service!

[Boots13]

Poignant Lessons

I spoke at my fathers funeral and having been estranged from him could only reflect on the high points and appreciation I had for this man through the eyes of a 9 year old. He shared so little of himself.

I was designated Administrator and organized my grandmothers funeral Mass but argued with my extended family in carrying out her final wishes. My cousins and sister no longer speak to me, in part, because I tried so desperately to carry out my Grandmothers final wishes. And in the end, even though I conceded to their overwhelming pressure her words still ring in my ears. "Don't burn me. I don't want to be burned". She was cremated and I don't know, in retrospect, how her service stepped so far from her desires.

Its so important to let your loved ones know exactly what you would like as a service or a final resting place. I think its equally important to outline your own personal successes and greatest accomplishments, not only what other people remember about you.

And on that note, I dont have anything written re; an obit.
This is a tough, but important thread. Thank you for starting it.

[Kätzchen]

The power of our own rhetorical narrative guides the process of healing for those who have lived side-by-side with us during our existence of life on Earth.

I just happen to be studying Narrative as Rhetoric and Walter Fisher (communications theorist and scholar of the 70s) argued that: "audience members check and test story material to see if it "rings true" with "stories they know to be true in their own lives" - describing this connection as Narrative Fidelity (Pierce, 2003: p. 199).


In addition to the above, Dan Pierce (2003) summarizes 6 key functions that narrative, in all of it's forms, does for us (p. 197):

• Narrative helps us to organize information, places, people, and events into understandable messages.
• Narrative helps us evaluate information, places, people and events.
• Narrative helps us form indirect knowledge about things, places, peoople and events about which we have no direct experience.
• Narrative helps us to reduce uncertainty about information, places, people and events.
• Narrative helps us to work out conflict.
• Narrative helps us to make decisions.

The process of our own spoken and written narrative facilitates cohesion and fidelilty of the story of the life we have lived and it warms my heart that Kobi made this forum thread as a way for us to be cognizant of our own rhetorical power.

Thank you to all the prior members who have posted about their own experience in aiding and preserving the memory of those who are no longer with us! (side note: SuperFemme? I miss you here! Sending big hugs and lots of Femme love to you today, where ever you are!)

~D