"Pro-ana" websites turn girls on to anorexia

[dark_crystal]

sometimes you just have to laugh at body dysphoria...i have been on a nutritionist-directed meal plan since early June and my weight is what they call "restored," meaning i am now medically normal. I can no longer wear my size zeroes so i today i went to buy new jeans...the first armload i took in the fitting room were 12s.

I went back and forth two more times before i got a pair to stay on me. i don't look at my body at all, ever. I know that my diease won't let me see what is really there. Even at a size zero i never wanted to look. i was so weak from starving that i could barely stand up and i still looked at myself and saw "needs improvement." i went out one night laced into a 22" corset and was miserable all night b/c i thought my stomach looked big

[suebee]

Originally Posted by dark_crystal

sometimes you just have to laugh at body dysphoria...i have been on a nutritionist-directed meal plan since early June and my weight is what they call "restored," meaning i am now medically normal. I can no longer wear my size zeroes so i today i went to buy new jeans...the first armload i took in the fitting room were 12s.

I went back and forth two more times before i got a pair to stay on me. i don't look at my body at all, ever. I know that my diease won't let me see what is really there. Even at a size zero i never wanted to look. i was so weak from starving that i could barely stand up and i still looked at myself and saw "needs improvement." i went out one night laced into a 22" corset and was miserable all night b/c i thought my stomach looked big

D.C., I suffer from depression, and that gives me the best analogy I can think of: when I'm in a depressive state (which, thank goodness isn't very often nowadays) I have to remember that it's the disease that makes the world so dark - that it's not necessarily so. Your disease makes you perceive your body in a certain way, and the way to survive is to be able to keep that in mind. Does this make sense?

[girl_dee]

I think there is a HUGE underestimation of the middle aged women who suffer with eating disorders..

When my ex partner realized i was binging and purging she said *what the hell?? girls in their 20's do that*

I think the pressure is even MORE powerful as we age... the damn weight just won't come off like it used to!

[dark_crystal]

Originally Posted by suebee

D.C., I suffer from depression, and that gives me the best analogy I can think of: when I'm in a depressive state (which, thank goodness isn't very often nowadays) I have to remember that it's the disease that makes the world so dark - that it's not necessarily so. Your disease makes you perceive your body in a certain way, and the way to survive is to be able to keep that in mind. Does this make sense?

yes, that does make a lot of sense and through nutritional counseling i have learned that when the weight first comes back it settles in all the wrong places and it could be a year before it distributes itself "properly."

i have made a deal with myself to just accept it for now and give it a year. Learning to live with a bigger body is hard but it IS marginally less hard than living with starvation and i gave many years to that...so having faith for one year that my body will regulate itself is something i am able to believe i deserve

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

I think there is a HUGE underestimation of the middle aged women who suffer with eating disorders..

When my ex partner realized i was binging and purging she said *what the hell?? girls in their 20's do that*

I think the pressure is even MORE powerful as we age... the damn weight just won't come off like it used to!

i know! and your body really does have a weight that it will fight to maintain...as i began my 3rd year of starvation i started to gain weight. i cut my galories to 700 a day and i was still gaining! that was when i knew i had to get treatment. I was already so weak and miserable and i couldn't face cutting back to 500 hundred or whatever it was going to take

[girl_dee]

i know! and your body really does have a weight that it will fight to maintain...as i began my 3rd year of starvation i started to gain weight. i cut my galories to 700 a day and i was still gaining! that was when i knew i had to get treatment. I was already so weak and miserable and i couldn't face cutting back to 500 hundred or whatever it was going to take[/QUOTE]

When I decided to stop worrying about calories i felt very liberated. I did it. I then started doing fat grams, less than 10 a day. (Still feeling exonerated for not worrying about calories..) Sometimes I had NO fat the entire day, all I could feel was 1 fat gram = a pound.. weird I know. I had headaches and could not even think but I knew that was part of losing weight.

When I cannot physically complete the mission of whatever it is to get the weight off I feel so guilty.. I feel like a failure because I cannot do a simple thing like control my own weight.

[dark_crystal]

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

i know! and your body really does have a weight that it will fight to maintain...as i began my 3rd year of starvation i started to gain weight. i cut my galories to 700 a day and i was still gaining! that was when i knew i had to get treatment. I was already so weak and miserable and i couldn't face cutting back to 500 hundred or whatever it was going to take

When I decided to stop worrying about calories i felt very liberated. I did it. I then started doing fat grams, less than 10 a day. (Still feeling exonerated for not worrying about calories..) Sometimes I had NO fat the entire day, all I could feel was 1 fat gram = a pound.. weird I know. I had headaches and could not even think but I knew that was part of losing weight.

When I cannot physically complete the mission of whatever it is to get the weight off I feel so guilty.. I feel like a failure because I cannot do a simple thing like control my own weight.
[/QUOTE]

i found out that eating no fat was part of what caused my amennorhea...fat is good, i am told, it keeps your body from eating its muscles...right now i am concentrating on fat to mucles ratio. if i can keep my muscle around 25% i know that my body is actually perfect no matter what i see or what the scale says

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by dark_crystal

When I decided to stop worrying about calories i felt very liberated. I did it. I then started doing fat grams, less than 10 a day. (Still feeling exonerated for not worrying about calories..) Sometimes I had NO fat the entire day, all I could feel was 1 fat gram = a pound.. weird I know. I had headaches and could not even think but I knew that was part of losing weight.

When I cannot physically complete the mission of whatever it is to get the weight off I feel so guilty.. I feel like a failure because I cannot do a simple thing like control my own weight.

i found out that eating no fat was part of what caused my amennorhea...fat is good, i am told, it keeps your body from eating its muscles...right now i am concentrating on fat to mucles ratio. if i can keep my muscle around 25% i know that my body is actually perfect no matter what i see or what the scale says[/QUOTE]

Well the brain consists of fat, and needs fat, the good kind to function.. without it we can't think clearly and God knows that I need all the help I can get LOL