Hate crime close to home....what is your take....

[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by christie0918

Belle -

We live in a TINY town in the SW portion of VA - we are very familiar with your struggle in living an authentic life while protecting your, your family's (in our case, my son's) personal safety.

I think, for the most part, folks are pretty non-pulsed by us. I think that I am more aware of our differences than most folks in our lil town. I like to think that by just living our lives we are changing some of the sterotypical ideas that folks have about dykes. We try to shop local and support local small business when possible and everyone we have encountered on a regular basis from repair folks to furniture store owners seem to gravitate towards us. The furniture shop owner has visited our home and when we were looking to special order some macdaddy leather sofas, she took us to her home to view the set she had purchased. Just last Sunday, the local mechanic and his wife, who I would have thought were stereotypical rednecks, stopped us in Wally World to ask if I could come by and talk about becoming their accountant since they are unhappy with their current one.

Our neighbors are nice folks and we try to take them meals when we entertain - both are elderly and don't seem to have a lot of family.

We have a rainbow flower thingy hanging from the rearview on the vehicle I primarily drive and an HRC sticker in the back window. We don't fly a rainbow flag in the yard although I did paint the columns on the porch a purpledy red color (Jess says its fuschia) and the new metal roof will be the same color when its installed. That's about as far as our "advertising" goes.

I know how isolating the invisibility can be and often feel it if not accompanied by Jess - and I don't know how to resolve that inner voice without tattooing "dyke" on my forehead.

I think you owe it to yourself to live as openly as you are comfortable with - and I will re-iterate that I think most of the "othering" comes from what energy I put out there. Most folks just walk on past without a word.

Christie

Thank you Christie...good advice. You do seem to understand. Thank you for posting...you are a sweety.

Originally Posted by rlin

ms belle...
i live in small town GA...
for 30 years i didnt let myself be out and proud... when i finally did... i found out that really... most ppl dont care...
look at your neighbors... take a good hard look... sadly i would point out even the younger males... if you dont see total ignorance... i would suggest that you let yourself be whoever the hell you feel like being...
what is our lives if we arent living them the way we want?

take a small step... see how you feel afterward...

sometimes i think... we just have to be in this totally for ourselves...

i hope there is no one that you are afraid of that close to you... if there is i would urge you now to get the hell out as soon as you can... no one should live that way... fear is terrible for our senses...

p.s.
would i be assuming correctly to think that you might have the same sweet southern drawl as the poor femme on the newsreel that lost her house??

Like others have said...small steps I believe is a good idea. My immediate neighbors don't care. They, for the most part, know. I've been here 20 years. One long term past gay relationship of 8 years so don't take a brain surgeon to figure it out I'm sure.

I guess today...I am just a little beside myself, so to speak. I've cried, prayed lit candles and I'm just so angry about what I read I just want to scream: I'M GAY TOO AND THERE ARE MANY OF US HERE.... I believe it comes from loving as humans from one to another when ANYONE is hurt. Then taking it a step further...they are "family" which gets my southern blood boiling that I didn't help in any way. I didn't fly the rainbow flag like I've debated on for years. Would that have helped? of course not, not them. But would it help the couple that moves in down the street that does live it openly and flys that flag? Maybe...that is where my head is today....

Small steps...good advice.

.....and yes i sound just like that girl sorta kinda i suppose...would have to ask someone who has talked to me cause i sound completely "normal" to me....lol.