Rainbow/Queer Flags/Bumper Stickers--Yes/No?

[Soon]

I did something shameful.

I would sometimes drive to the closest major city that had a large queer community (multiple times) with my rainbow sticker on (it was one where you can just peel it off) and took it off when I drove back home to my smaller town.

I work for a Catholic School Board. (which is actually PUBLICLY funded due complicated reasons). I still burn with redness that I actually reached back and peeled it off before I hit my city--my apt. was very close to my school at the time.

There's more shame than that but I wanted to share that feeling of peeling off the sticker--when I had my first queer relationship--so NO ONE would KNOW that I had a female lover.

Thanks for sharing your stories of rainbow/queer stickers or visible signs of being part of the LGBTQI community.

[princessbelle]

I bought a rainbow license plate today. Haven't put in on yet. A little afraid to. But I want to.... Just gotta consider everything before i do. Jeeze this really pisses me off that i even have to THINK about it....

so F'in unfair...but it is what it is.

[Rockinonahigh]

When I had the big huge suv It lookes like the main advertisement for gay pride...Once I was goign to Ft Worth for a horse show at the john justin aren a and some hot shot cowboy thought he was going to bull shit me so he made a driveing pass at my suv..All I did was peel backwards at 50mpr burning rubber..faced him head on...then as this happened at night..fliped on all the lights on the suv.Now folks im talking this thing lights up like a christmas tree on steroids....I dared him to take another run at me...all I saw was his tail lights as he left the complex.The next day I saw his truck with a ft.worth police car behind it fixing to impound it.Now that I have this fancy cadi I havent any stickers at all on it at all,after all when I get in or out of it there isnt any doubt im a big ole butch queer.

[SassyLeo]

About 10-12 years ago, I had this sticker on my 1986 VW Golf:



I hadn't "come out" yet, but my parents are queer and I had been involved in alot of activism with my father. Several people at my job asked why I had it. I was sort of teased about it (not in an obnoxious way, but I just grew tired of the "winks"), so I removed it from my car.

I had a small rainbow cling at one point on car I had about 5 years ago, but it faded...and I never replaced it.

I live in in Portland, OR. And before that, Santa Cruz, CA. Both are VERY liberal and SUPER queer. Recently we had a couple of gay bashings (men) and it has made people more cautious about displays of queerness, however rainbow flags are still everywhere.

I think, for me, because my community is so queer and we are so intermingled amongst straight folks (neighborhoods, work, etc)... it just isn't a big deal to make sure it is "known".

[Random]

Nope..

I haven't found one that screamed.. *OWN ME*

I used to have a rainbow MOM on the old car, but that just doesn't speak to me any more..

On the jeep I have my austin cherry bomb sticker and the louieville hellcats..

grin.. I wish I had my favorite bumper sticker.. It was clear and straight to the point... I never ever got tail gated..

It said

MUTANT... keep back 300 feet...

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

I did something shameful.

I would sometimes drive to the closest major city that had a large queer community (multiple times) with my rainbow sticker on (it was one where you can just peel it off) and took it off when I drove back home to my smaller town.

I work for a Catholic School Board. (which is actually PUBLICLY funded due complicated reasons). I still burn with redness that I actually reached back and peeled it off before I hit my city--my apt. was very close to my school at the time.

There's more shame than that but I wanted to share that feeling of peeling off the sticker--when I had my first queer relationship--so NO ONE would KNOW that I had a female lover.

Thanks for sharing your stories of rainbow/queer stickers or visible signs of being part of the LGBTQI community.

Seriously, I get that I can't make you feel unashamed but I really want you to know that I "get it" and that I don't think you need to feel shame.

I am a -huge- believer in self-preservation. I mean, you need to have your job to survive and not being harassed is one of the big keys to making the ONE THIRD of your week that is spent actually at work bearable. You deserve that. I deserve that. Everyone deserves that.

Sure, in an ideal world everybody can be totally open all the time AND be free from harassment. But we DO NOT LIVE in a perfect world. Not by a long shot.

My bestfag's boyfriend of (lawdy....12 years I think at least?) teaches at a Catholic highschool. So he compartmentalises. And I think that's fair and I think that's smart.

Ditto with me. Now that I live in a smaller and more conservative town I really put the feelers out at work before I said anything. TO THIS DAY there are coworkers of mine who do not know - because I have observed them to be assholes who would be cruel to me. The people at work who have become more than just coworkers know about Nick. My boss knows about Nick. The assholes do not need to know.

And while I do know that if they were to be cruel to me that my boss and the organisation that I work for would have my back - I would rather just not go there. That's bullshit that I do not need to deal with when all I really want in the whole world is to do my job and go home.

I do not consider myself closeted. I just don't talk about my personal life while I'm at work - ever. But then...I never really have even when I worked for an ASO (AIDS Service Organisation - lol) and the vast majority of my coworkers were Queer. My job is not where I go to get my social needs met. That's what bars, my family, and the internets are for.

I -do- give a verbal smackdown to the asshole coworkers when they say shitty things about the LGBTIQ community. Just like I give them the verbal smackdown when they are racist or classist.

In the meantime....two years ago I contacted the higher-ups and demanded that they hold mandatory training about oppression and sensitivity and about Shit That Decent People Do Not Say. Most people got something out of it, even I did. And the people who didn't get something out of it - well. I already knew that they were assholes.

[christie]

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

I did something shameful.

I would sometimes drive to the closest major city that had a large queer community (multiple times) with my rainbow sticker on (it was one where you can just peel it off) and took it off when I drove back home to my smaller town.

I work for a Catholic School Board. (which is actually PUBLICLY funded due complicated reasons). I still burn with redness that I actually reached back and peeled it off before I hit my city--my apt. was very close to my school at the time.

There's more shame than that but I wanted to share that feeling of peeling off the sticker--when I had my first queer relationship--so NO ONE would KNOW that I had a female lover.

Thanks for sharing your stories of rainbow/queer stickers or visible signs of being part of the LGBTQI community.

HSIN -

Please don't look at your actions as something to be ashamed of - heaven knows we carry enough of that crap.

I think we have all, at one time or another, had to compromise or live with some type of secrecy in order to survive. We have folks such as myself who tried, however successfully or unsuccessfully, to live the het life planned/expected of us. We have male ID'd butches who don skirts or other feminine attire to conform to workplace expectations and I don't believe these things should be judged. At the end of the day, we do what we have to do, at the time. Until the world catches up, I don't see some of the personal compromises going away.

Ain't no room for shame in your game!

... end derail

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

I did something shameful.

I would sometimes drive to the closest major city that had a large queer community (multiple times) with my rainbow sticker on (it was one where you can just peel it off) and took it off when I drove back home to my smaller town.

I work for a Catholic School Board. (which is actually PUBLICLY funded due complicated reasons). I still burn with redness that I actually reached back and peeled it off before I hit my city--my apt. was very close to my school at the time.

There's more shame than that but I wanted to share that feeling of peeling off the sticker--when I had my first queer relationship--so NO ONE would KNOW that I had a female lover.

Thanks for sharing your stories of rainbow/queer stickers or visible signs of being part of the LGBTQI community.

Thank you for sharing this with us, it has to be hard to open up and trust no one will judge you. I have not had to *hide* who I am in ages, I mean ages and I find myself in that predicament now.

I always ask Grant if it's cool to touch him, and hold his hand here. It's not like where I live and I have had to do a lot of readjusting. Potty said it best, self preservation comes first for me, though it is hard I know here it's down right dangerous, I can't tell you how many times G has come home from work after having some dick nugget throw a full can of beer at his head.

We have not had any violence towards us when together, we get the looks and well me being vocal I always say something. I don't know how it's going to be when it's a group of guys out queer bashing, cause here it happens.

I feel lost here sometimes, so your need to peel that sticker off was smart because sometimes, in some situations it's all about just making it through the next day.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

I did something shameful.

I would sometimes drive to the closest major city that had a large queer community (multiple times) with my rainbow sticker on (it was one where you can just peel it off) and took it off when I drove back home to my smaller town.

I work for a Catholic School Board. (which is actually PUBLICLY funded due complicated reasons). I still burn with redness that I actually reached back and peeled it off before I hit my city--my apt. was very close to my school at the time.

There's more shame than that but I wanted to share that feeling of peeling off the sticker--when I had my first queer relationship--so NO ONE would KNOW that I had a female lover.

Thanks for sharing your stories of rainbow/queer stickers or visible signs of being part of the LGBTQI community.

Nothing shameful here at all. Looks like surviving to me.

I no longer have any stickers on my vechiles at all and I live 25 minutes from San Francisco! The very same night that the butch in Richmond, CA (a couple of miles from my city) was kidknapped and gang raped, then left for dead, I had a piece of a heavy-duty wrench thrown at me while on the freeway. This was after the punks in the car got pissed at me for something on the road (have no idea). They were riding my butt and I had several queer related stickers on my truck. When they pulled beside me, I thought a gun was staring at my face.

Turned out that they had just entered the freeway at the exit near this where this woman was found. They fit the profile of two of the suspects and this occured at the time of the crime. I did call in the license (did not know about the rape at the time) and have been interviewed by the Richmond PD. These young men are intertwined in this crime.

If this happened to me where I live, I sure am not going to judge you or anyone in any negative light! I have learned that there is really no safe zone when it comes to homophobia.

[theoddz]

Well, I'm not a fan of bumper stickers in the first place....never have been. So, no, I don't have any bumper stickers on my truck.

I do have a license plate frame, but that says "Once A Marine, Always a Marine", and I'm not parting with that or even willing to consider replacing it with something else. I'm waaay too proud of that!!

I don't think I would want to advertise myself as being part of the GLBTQ community to just everyone, like a bumper sticker would do. In my own personal situation, gay guys (and that's how I would be perceived, in general) have a *LOT* more problems with physical threats, on the whole, from the young het male homophobe population, and those are the ones who usually pose the most physical threat. With my health issues and titanium knees, I couldn't much defend myself if cornered, and I sure couldn't outrun the danger, either.

So no, for safety reasons, I wouldn't advertise.

Respectfully,
~Theo~

[betenoire]

Ditto to what the last three posters have said.

Stay Safe. Stay Sane.

[Sparkle]

I live in the type of place where one's liberal-ness is de rigueur.
My car has a rainbow sticker cross the back window. I am one among many.
My city is brimming with Queers, or Queer-Allies.

It is *shocking* if we (collective we) see a car or home with obvious right wing stickers/banners/flags; or a person of that persuasion.

I live in a liberal-bubble & I like it.

I can (sometimes) have a whole day where I am oblivious to the injustice & discrimination that is common place in our country.

That benefit helps to get me through the miserable winter. :P

[girl_dee]

Well in one way I am not a flag waver.. Straight folks don't wave straight people flags so I don't feel a need to.. I feel the more we fit in mainstream the more accepted we will be..

In another way I loved having my lil rainbow stripe on the back of my 3rd light to bring visibility to QUEERS!!!!!

Discreet but visible.. yeah thats me!

[EnderD_503]

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

Well in one way I am not a flag waver.. Straight folks don't wave straight people flags so I don't feel a need to.. I feel the more we fit in mainstream the more accepted we will be..

Partially agree, partially disagree. I don't feel the need to put up a flag/sticker/patch/whatever, either.

I do like that stores/services put them up when they are geared toward the lgbt community or are trained/more aware in dealing with lgbt individuals than the average store.

I disagree on the comment of fitting into the mainstream, though. I've never fit into the mainstream when it comes to just about anything, and for me not putting up a flag has nothing to do with trying to be more mainstream or more accepted, but just that I see no point in it/no desire to do so for myself.

[torchiegirl]

if ya like em, stick em, fly em, tie em!

[Nat]

currently I do have the hrc equal sign sticker on my van, but I'm not in love with it. I have had a few lovely "femme" stickers over the years. maybe it's time for a new one.

I live in a very strong military town in texas, and I often think about making a sticker that says, "I support ALL our troops" with the "all" being in pride colors. However, I do have a slight fear of getting myself kilt.

I do think it's helpful for others who are more closeted to know they aren't alone.

[Julie]

My first bumper sticker was in 1979 and said DYKE. I was pulled over (with my very butch girlfriend) and was asked by the cop what it meant. Bad place to be pulled over. I said, it stands for Dancing Youth Know Everything. He said, WOW that is great, my daughter is a dancer. I said... (cocky 17 year old I was) as he was letting me go and telling me to have a nice day (no ticket). I said, I am sorry, I lied - It really means, DYKE as in women loving women. He turned bright red and I said, thank you, have a nice day, officer.

I have a new (for me) car now and do not have anything on it. I have an ANGRY LESBIAN sticker I think I will put on.

Like others, I have lived in small towns, even with a large KKK presence. I have always been out and have always confronted the nastiness through kindness. Perhaps why I do the work I do. I love when I am called a nasty dirty name, it gives me the chance to dialog and perhaps educate someone.

[Starbuck]

Originally Posted by InfiniteFemme

...Like others, I have lived in small towns, even with a large KKK presence. I have always been out and have always confronted the nastiness through kindness. Perhaps why I do the work I do. I love when I am called a nasty dirty name, it gives me the chance to dialog and perhaps educate someone.

I too am a hot head, how do you find it possible to confront it with kindness??

[ComparedToWhom]

A few years ago while at a GLBTQQIA meeting I listened to a young person relate an experience where she was in near-crisis internally while coming out, feeling very alone, etc., and one day she happened to see a rainbow flag flying from a house near her school. She said she never knew who lived in the house the entire time she was in school but she somehow felt safer knowing someone who would understand her was nearby. I left the meeting, found the biggest rainbow flag I could on-line, and have had it waving off the front of the house ever since. I've met so many folks because of that flag.

I added a single sticker to every vehicle I own, including the two-wheeled ones. I have traveled just about every road in the US and Canada (seriously) and have NEVER had a single issue. Well, that's if you don't count the plethora of times I've passed a vehicle on my bike only to have the same vehicle speed back up and nearly run me off the road as all the same-sex occupants energetically waved, saluted, honked, thumbs-up, etc.

CTW

[Laerkin]

Living in Virginia, not far from Fort Belvoir, Quantico, and Dahlgren, there have certainly been a number of hate crimes over the years.

During the Presidential election, two Marines assaulted a woman for simply having an Obama sticker on her car.

I had one on my car at the time and it certainly made me a little more aware of the target I had on my bumper in an area that is highly conservative and religious.

After a minor fender bender where I lost my rear bumper (and thus, my stickers), I recently decided to just throw caution to the wind and make a statement, haters be damned.

My license plate is now personalized and advertises to the world that yes, the owner is in fact a queer.

And I added a rainbow sticker (six little kitties) to my rear windshield.

The only time I've had anyone pause is when a few coworkers saw it (straight, conservative ones). But nothing untoward was said.

Like CTW, I mostly get other folks within the community speeding up or slowing down to take a peek at who's in the car and I smile and wave. I'm sure my "out"ness offends some of the people around here, but I think Virginia could use a little more queer.

On a side note, I do feel more pressure to drive respectfully. When I'm out on the country roads or in small town VA, I feel this odd responsibility to not drive like an asshole lest it gives some redneck one more excuse to hate gays. Is that weird?