The Art of Online Communication

Kast · 12-12-2009, 09:15 AM

There's many facets to the human personality and a writer may study these and learn to write from various places and the poster does this naturally.

There's a 'child' place that we write from and then the 'adult'... I've found that when someone is in their 'adult' reading what someone has written in their 'child', this usually causes a collision of worlds.

Andrew, Jr. · 12-12-2009, 11:44 AM

I try not to judge others or other situations. As much as I would love to judge others, I have learned to stop myself. It isn't easy to do. It is human nature to judge. However, I have taken on the Buddist principle of judgement, and it has opened a door of peace for me.

For example, I am amazed over the Tiger Woods situation. He has earned so much money, respect, and so on and on over doing something he loves to do - play golf. I can say without a doubt, a year ago, I would have loved to have been in his shoes. Now, I can say without a doubt, I do not want to be in his shoes. It is a matter of knowing what his life is all about (from what I do know).

Darth Denkay · 12-12-2009, 12:19 PM

Wow, what a great idea for a thread!

I have not been involved in very many online communities. Truth be told including this site I have involved in exactly two. I learned all I know about online communication around these parts.

Communication is hard. I'm a therapist, and when working with individual clients we frequently address how to communicate with a partner, friend, boss. When I work with couples 99% of the time communication is one of the major issues. Basically, I think we suck at communicating.

I grew up having to constantly defend myself to a highly critical father. Do I sometimes feel defensive when it's not warranted - I'm sure I do. I am not comfortable in heated or passionate discussions online. As several have mentioned I rely a great deal on visual cues, and without them I have a very hard time interpreting such threads so generally shy away from them. I do post occasionally but usually only after some deliberation. In person, dialogue, debate, passionate discussions are welcome; online is a very different story for me.

To be frank, because I don't like online communication, I doubt I would be involved in any except that this site provides community that I need. You know, as I write this I realize it's probably sounds negative, but my reality is that I don't like this mode of communication. Of course if I don't like it so much I should just leave, right? But as I said, I value the community so I stick around and participate as feels comfortable.

So, while I'm venting, this venue does favor the outspoken folk. I won't go as far as to say those of us who are quieter are silenced, but our participation, I would venture a guess, is a challenge for many of us. It often feels as though we are expected to "step up" to everyone else's level, but that's an unfair expectation. Of course, it would also be unfair to expect others to "step down" so we are left with a difficult situation, one that may never be resolved.

Wow. It was nice to rant. Thanks for listening - it was good to share.

Andrew, Jr. · 12-15-2009, 10:32 AM

I asked this question in another thread, and I am going to post it here. I have no clue as to how to read other's posts. For example, how do you know if someone is joking, being serious, being rude, being threatening, or whatever? I struggle with this all the time. I am a visual person, and always have been. The smilies help me tremendously.

I do see the punctuation, and but am Dyslexic. So words and reading comprehension is not my strong suit.

Selenay · 12-15-2009, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

I asked this question in another thread, and I am going to post it here. I have no clue as to how to read other's posts. For example, how do you know if someone is joking, being serious, being rude, being threatening, or whatever? I struggle with this all the time. I am a visual person, and always have been. The smilies help me tremendously.

I do see the punctuation, and but am Dyslexic. So words and reading comprehension is not my strong suit.

Always assume someone is not being an asshole.
Even if they are in fact being twats, at least you'll be blissfully ignorant to that fact.

Gemme · 12-15-2009, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Selenay

Always assume someone is not being an asshole.
Even if they are in fact being twats, at least you'll be blissfully ignorant to that fact.

This is actually really good advice. If they are being snotheads, and you are just as sweet as pie, that will really get their goat and they'll wind up looking foolish.

Not that I'm sneaky like that ....

Andrew, Jr. · 12-30-2009, 03:08 PM

I came back here to reread all the posts. I really have learned quite a bit.

Someone, and I forgot who it was, asked me if I knew how to cut/paste. I said no. And I really don't know how too. I just type word for word from newspapers and magazines I get in the mail. So, my question here is, how do I say that? I thought it was wrong to just put something in a thread without saying who the author was. Like I dreamed it up or something.

Thanks,
Andrew

12-12-2009, 12:19 PM	#3
Darth Denkay Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I'm good with whatever Relationship Status: in love and loved Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Tennessee (Memphis, from Chattanooga) Posts: 315 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 456 Thanked 463 Times in 150 Posts Rep Power: 891935	Wow, what a great idea for a thread! I have not been involved in very many online communities. Truth be told including this site I have involved in exactly two. I learned all I know about online communication around these parts. Communication is hard. I'm a therapist, and when working with individual clients we frequently address how to communicate with a partner, friend, boss. When I work with couples 99% of the time communication is one of the major issues. Basically, I think we suck at communicating. I grew up having to constantly defend myself to a highly critical father. Do I sometimes feel defensive when it's not warranted - I'm sure I do. I am not comfortable in heated or passionate discussions online. As several have mentioned I rely a great deal on visual cues, and without them I have a very hard time interpreting such threads so generally shy away from them. I do post occasionally but usually only after some deliberation. In person, dialogue, debate, passionate discussions are welcome; online is a very different story for me. To be frank, because I don't like online communication, I doubt I would be involved in any except that this site provides community that I need. You know, as I write this I realize it's probably sounds negative, but my reality is that I don't like this mode of communication. Of course if I don't like it so much I should just leave, right? But as I said, I value the community so I stick around and participate as feels comfortable. So, while I'm venting, this venue does favor the outspoken folk. I won't go as far as to say those of us who are quieter are silenced, but our participation, I would venture a guess, is a challenge for many of us. It often feels as though we are expected to "step up" to everyone else's level, but that's an unfair expectation. Of course, it would also be unfair to expect others to "step down" so we are left with a difficult situation, one that may never be resolved. Wow. It was nice to rant. Thanks for listening - it was good to share. __________________ Darth

12-12-2009, 09:15 AM	#1
Kast Member How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: hye Relationship Status: in love with her Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: europe Posts: 185 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 391 Thanked 513 Times in 125 Posts Rep Power: 2413939	There's many facets to the human personality and a writer may study these and learn to write from various places and the poster does this naturally. There's a 'child' place that we write from and then the 'adult'... I've found that when someone is in their 'adult' reading what someone has written in their 'child', this usually causes a collision of worlds.

12-12-2009, 11:44 AM	#2
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	I try not to judge others or other situations. As much as I would love to judge others, I have learned to stop myself. It isn't easy to do. It is human nature to judge. However, I have taken on the Buddist principle of judgement, and it has opened a door of peace for me. For example, I am amazed over the Tiger Woods situation. He has earned so much money, respect, and so on and on over doing something he loves to do - play golf. I can say without a doubt, a year ago, I would have loved to have been in his shoes. Now, I can say without a doubt, I do not want to be in his shoes. It is a matter of knowing what his life is all about (from what I do know).

12-15-2009, 10:32 AM	#4
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	I asked this question in another thread, and I am going to post it here. I have no clue as to how to read other's posts. For example, how do you know if someone is joking, being serious, being rude, being threatening, or whatever? I struggle with this all the time. I am a visual person, and always have been. The smilies help me tremendously. I do see the punctuation, and but am Dyslexic. So words and reading comprehension is not my strong suit.

12-30-2009, 03:08 PM	#7
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	I came back here to reread all the posts. I really have learned quite a bit. Someone, and I forgot who it was, asked me if I knew how to cut/paste. I said no. And I really don't know how too. I just type word for word from newspapers and magazines I get in the mail. So, my question here is, how do I say that? I thought it was wrong to just put something in a thread without saying who the author was. Like I dreamed it up or something. Thanks, Andrew