Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

[Spirit Dancer]

There comes a time when we don't fully comprehend
what our loved ones are feeling or thinking at certain times.
As of late it feels like a twilight zone movie and no matter what
I say it is the wrong words at not a good time.

Being the Partner/ Caregiver/Advocate can really
be a demanding roll especially when your partner
feels you're siding with the doctors over them. It's a fine line we walk in
assisting with decisions and being supportive as well.

Now I find that keeping a separate journal with issues for the doctor
to review and then the issues my partner has with the doctor,
has helped me to better improve communications with both.

Most important role for me is Hys partner and protector, the guard
of the gate that will allow no harm, and if there is an issue the doctors answer to me.

[Tommi]

Spirit Dancer,
My heart goes out to you and yours. You must be in that proverbial rock and hard place.

Keeping the separate lists sounds like a great idea. I found myself going around to the nurses station before I go see my friend Milana, and reviewing what has and has not happened. She put me down as #2 on her Advanced Directive, and # 1 to get and give info to the Doc's. I have been calling when not there, as my visits and or not visiting cause her to get into such a rage it became unhealthy for her for me to be there all the time. She is agitated all the time now, no matter which anti-anxiety meds they give her, and is lashing out to hit at the nurses, and at her sister and I.

Found out last week Milana's path report in June was Stage 4 Lung Cancer, and we were told it was espophageal CA. She Still has not had chemo, or radiation treatments since the accidental trach event in July. She went from Acute Care hosp and is now in a nursing home. Next week she goes to UCI to have the PET Scan repeated, since they don't want to start radiation based on the scans done in May. Hopefully they will start treatment soon, as her.

Wish we could find the magic elixir to wipe out this fucking disease. .
Love to you all,
Tommi

[Spirit Dancer]

Originally Posted by Tommi

Spirit Dancer,
My heart goes out to you and yours. You must be in that proverbial rock and hard place.

Keeping the separate lists sounds like a great idea. I found myself going around to the nurses station before I go see my friend Milana, and reviewing what has and has not happened. She put me down as #2 on her Advanced Directive, and # 1 to get and give info to the Doc's. I have been calling when not there, as my visits and or not visiting cause her to get into such a rage it became unhealthy for her for me to be there all the time. She is agitated all the time now, no matter which anti-anxiety meds they give her, and is lashing out to hit at the nurses, and at her sister and I.

Found out last week Milana's path report in June was Stage 4 Lung Cancer, and we were told it was espophageal CA. She Still has not had chemo, or radiation treatments since the accidental trach event in July. She went from Acute Care hosp and is now in a nursing home. Next week she goes to UCI to have the PET Scan repeated, since they don't want to start radiation based on the scans done in May. Hopefully they will start treatment soon, as her.

Wish we could find the magic elixir to wipe out this fucking disease. .
Love to you all,
Tommi

Sending much light to you my friend and healing energy to Milana;
we do what we do; because it's in us. We take care of others
and often we forget to breathe ourselves. Take time to smell the

[Tommi]

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

Sending much light to you my friend and healing energy to Milana;
we do what we do; because it's in us. We take care of others
and often we forget to breathe ourselves. Take time to smell the

Thanks, and backattcha ya know* Just sayin.

[Spirit Dancer]

My Faith is larger than the Hills -- by Emily Dickinson
My Faith is larger than the Hills --
So when the Hills decay --
My Faith must take the Purple Wheel
To show the Sun the way --

'Tis first He steps upon the Vane --
And then -- upon the Hill --
And then abroad the World He go
To do His Golden Will --

And if His Yellow feet should miss --
The Bird would not arise --
The Flowers would slumber on their Stems --
No Bells have Paradise --

How dare I, therefore, stint a faith
On which so vast depends --
Lest Firmament should fail for me --
The Rivet in the Bands

[Domestic Diva]

this will be the first time I have spoken of this online, hell I don't talk about it much in person. I have stage 3a breat cancer. I have been batteling cancer of one type of another for a few years, first just benign tumors, then uterin cancer, after a hystorectomy I was good for a few years then one day there they where...3 lumps in my left breast.went it for a checkup, then the biopsys...then the 5 days wait...wich I think was the hardest part...then the news that changed everything. they wanna take my boobs, and I know that choosing between cancer and my clevage is a no brainer Im a girlfriend and a mother, but I love my clevage....I finally found a doc that will use my body fat for reconstruction...yayy! tummy tuck and new clevage! went in for per op stuff and my white blood cell count is in the 100,000, for those that don't know thats WAY more then it should be. So now I take pills and wait some more....
I, at first, felt like this was punishment for some awful thing I had done and then I thought about my life and I could't come up with one thing I had done that was that bad, I mean I know I am not perfect but jesus...I'm not that bad either. I made a bucket list...Everyone thoought that was funny, but what if they can't fix it, what if I die?
I dont wanna go out feeling like I haven't done anything I wanted to...ya know...now I live in a new place, and I don't have a lot of adult friends...that sucks more cause I feel the depression...So I am seeking new peoples to relate with, people inside and outside my community to laugh with and talk about stuff other then cancer, but I guess I have to talk about this stuff too

[Spirit Dancer]

Originally Posted by Domestic Diva

this will be the first time I have spoken of this online, hell I don't talk about it much in person. I have stage 3a breat cancer. I have been batteling cancer of one type of another for a few years, first just benign tumors, then uterin cancer, after a hystorectomy I was good for a few years then one day there they where...3 lumps in my left breast.went it for a checkup, then the biopsys...then the 5 days wait...wich I think was the hardest part...then the news that changed everything. they wanna take my boobs, and I know that choosing between cancer and my clevage is a no brainer Im a girlfriend and a mother, but I love my clevage....I finally found a doc that will use my body fat for reconstruction...yayy! tummy tuck and new clevage! went in for per op stuff and my white blood cell count is in the 100,000, for those that don't know thats WAY more then it should be. So now I take pills and wait some more....
I, at first, felt like this was punishment for some awful thing I had done and then I thought about my life and I could't come up with one thing I had done that was that bad, I mean I know I am not perfect but jesus...I'm not that bad either. I made a bucket list...Everyone thoought that was funny, but what if they can't fix it, what if I die?
I dont wanna go out feeling like I haven't done anything I wanted to...ya know...now I live in a new place, and I don't have a lot of adult friends...that sucks more cause I feel the depression...So I am seeking new peoples to relate with, people inside and outside my community to laugh with and talk about stuff other then cancer, but I guess I have to talk about this stuff too

Domestic Diva
We are here for you

Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit --
Rest if you must, but don't quit.

ife is strange with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow --
You may succeed with another blow.

ften the goal is nearer than
It seems to a fair and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

uccess is failure turned inside out --
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit, --
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

-- Author Unknown --

[Tommi]

Originally Posted by Domestic Diva

this will be the first time I have spoken of this online, hell I don't talk about it much in person. I have stage 3a breat cancer. I have been battling cancer of one type of another for a few years, first just benign tumors, then uterine cancer, after a hysterectomy I was good for a few years then one day there they where...3 lumps in my left breast.went it for a checkup, then the biopsys...then the 5 days wait...which I think was the hardest part...then the news that changed everything. they wanna take my boobs, and I know that choosing between cancer and my clevage is a no brainer. Im a girlfriend and a mother, but I love my cleavage....I finally found a doc that will use my body fat for reconstruction...yayy! tummy tuck and new clevage! went in for pre op stuff and my white blood cell count is in the 100,000, for those that don't know thats WAY more then it should be. So now I take pills and wait some more....
I, at first, felt like this was punishment for some awful thing I had done and then I thought about my life and I could't come up with one thing I had done that was that bad, I mean I know I am not perfect but jesus...I'm not that bad either. I made a bucket list...Everyone thought that was funny, but what if they can't fix it, what if I die?
I dont wanna go out feeling like I haven't done anything I wanted to...ya know...now I live in a new place, and I don't have a lot of adult friends...that sucks more cause I feel the depression...So I am seeking new peoples to relate with, people inside and outside my community to laugh with and talk about stuff other then cancer, but I guess I have to talk about this stuff too

Hi there.. Well, if you were close by, we could chat about that Club we became members of without even asking. That one that makes you realize your mortality, and that makes every day matter. And it's scary.

Have you researched ALL your options? Looked for Clinical Studies in your neighborhood. I signed up for one after being diagnosed with Uterine cancer almost 7 years ago.

If there is anythiong I can do, holler, write, scream, send smoke signals, or PM me. My email addy is in my profile.

This is from NIH.gov website.

Stage IIIA (operable)

Modified radical mastectomy or radical mastectomy with either radiation or chemotherapy. Radiation could be preoperative external beam radiation or postoperative external beam radiation with a booster dose to primary site. Chemotherapy could be CMF, CA, CAF, CMFP, CMFVP, L-PAM and 5-FU with or without tamoxifen.

Here is a link to look at what's new and what's going on in the research and clinical trials. http://www.cancer.gov/clinicaltrials...archid=8960422

So, stay in touch. and PS: I'm glad you are going through with the mastectomy, with or without the reconstruction, the cancer needs to go. Bang Bang

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Domestic Diva

this will be the first time I have spoken of this online, hell I don't talk about it much in person. I have stage 3a breat cancer. I have been batteling cancer of one type of another for a few years, first just benign tumors, then uterin cancer, after a hystorectomy I was good for a few years then one day there they where...3 lumps in my left breast.went it for a checkup, then the biopsys...then the 5 days wait...wich I think was the hardest part...then the news that changed everything. they wanna take my boobs, and I know that choosing between cancer and my clevage is a no brainer Im a girlfriend and a mother, but I love my clevage....I finally found a doc that will use my body fat for reconstruction...yayy! tummy tuck and new clevage! went in for per op stuff and my white blood cell count is in the 100,000, for those that don't know thats WAY more then it should be. So now I take pills and wait some more....
I, at first, felt like this was punishment for some awful thing I had done and then I thought about my life and I could't come up with one thing I had done that was that bad, I mean I know I am not perfect but jesus...I'm not that bad either. I made a bucket list...Everyone thoought that was funny, but what if they can't fix it, what if I die?
I dont wanna go out feeling like I haven't done anything I wanted to...ya know...now I live in a new place, and I don't have a lot of adult friends...that sucks more cause I feel the depression...So I am seeking new peoples to relate with, people inside and outside my community to laugh with and talk about stuff other then cancer, but I guess I have to talk about this stuff too

Hi, Domestic Diva.

Last week I had my last chemo treatment for Stage 3a colon cancer.

I had surgery in early August and then had chemo starting a month later every other week (along with a chemo pump for 48 hours after each infusion).

I tend to be a person who researches the heck out of the smallest of things when making a decision (for example, when buying a new camera), but this was the one time I chose not to. I was concerned that I would become overwhelmed with the information I found and I was worried that I would get the wrong information. You have been down this road before, so you probably know a lot already and know what you want to know and don't want to know, so that is a good thing. I found that I wanted to know little about the surgery, but a lot about the chemo treatments. Fortunately, I chose a surgeon who didn't talk, but found a chatty oncologist. Let your doctors know what you need and the pace you want to receive information.

I live in an area that has one of the highest cancer rates in the nation. I am considering moving even though I have lived here my whole life. Although I believe that nutrition, exercise, and in some cases heredity, impacts one's chances of getting cancer, I believe the environment does, as well.

Hopefully, someone who has had breast cancer will come in here or PM you.

However, if you want some additional support from someone else who has had to deal with cancer (although not the same type), please don't hesitate to PM me.

Seriously. Anytime.

Take care of yourself.