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10-26-2010, 10:29 PM
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#1 |
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Infamous Member
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single  Join Date: Jun 2010
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In order to feel loved...
I need to be able to trust before I can feel loved and in order for that trust to take form, I need to see that what you say and what you do match up as one and the same. I am a deep and constant thinker and need for you to reach those depths with me. I can't live well in shallow land. I need emotional intimacy as much as I need sexual intimacy, if not more. I need to know we are on the same team and that you have my back. I need honesty and truth I need for you to be doing your work as far as your health goes; emotional, mental, spiritual and physical health. And I need for you to gently kick my ass if I am not doing mine. I need shared laughter and a time to be like kids when appropriate to do so. Humor is important to me.
__________________
“You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”
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10-27-2010, 11:35 AM
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#2 |
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Member
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Unavailable 
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I have found that I feel loved when I am listened to.
I feel loved when I am missed and held. When hy worries about me and for me. When hy tells me that everything will be ok. Being loved is so strange for me sadly - but I like it. A LOT. lol. It works for me. |
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10-27-2010, 12:13 PM
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#3 |
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Italian Stallion
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DNA Usually... Join Date: Oct 2009
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- A Gentle Touch
- A Certain Look - Hugs (of course) - To be heard - Understanding - Trust - Honesty - Laughter/Silliness - Compassion - Nurturing - Date Nights - Romance |
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10-27-2010, 01:33 PM
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#4 | |
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Practically Lives Here
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Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' 
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Quote:
The things that help me to feel loved have evolved over time. At one point, it was the physical love and the physical actions that made me feel loved. While I enjoy that still, at this point, it's the "small" things that many people don't even think about that do it for me. I need consideration as a human being and as an equal partner. I need pleases and thank yous and manners in general. I need the daily sensitivities that tell me that my partner is thinking of me and what I may want or need. I need to know that my partner thinks of me like I think of them, and often. I need to be a priority in their life, though I may not always be the highest priority at that moment, I need to be up there. I need for my partner to see the big picture not exactly as I do, but to SEE it...to have their own plan for their life and path and for OUR union and path. I need for my partner to have similar goals and beliefs concerning the big stuff (knowing my big stuff might not equal someone else's big stuff, of course). I need them to walk that path, during the process of obtaining those common goals, with me...side by side, and knowing their needs are neither greater nor lesser than mine. I need laughter and shared jokes. The more offensive the better, because I need my partner to be as much of a deviant as I. I need tender moments in quiet times and the knowledge that that moment means just as much to me as it does to my partner. I need patience in spades and forgiveness when it doesn't come easily from myself. I need my partner to love me more than I love myself, because as hard as I am on them, I am much harder on myself. I've used the term partner several times now and that is what a relationship is to me: a partnership. A team. Both members must look out for one another and be kind to one another and forgive one another when those moments come (and they will) and keep working towards the team's goals in the big picture. They need to act as one entity, moving and flowing in unison. Mind you, this doesn't mean spending every waking moment with one another or tying two of your legs together or anything like that. Heaven knows, Organic would have been strung out on the balcony a long time ago if that were the case. The relationship takes on a life of its own and that is what needs to be fluid and evolve. |
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10-27-2010, 03:04 PM
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#5 |
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Infamous Member
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femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009
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Gosh these posts in here are just fabulous and it shows that many, many of us have had that opportunity to really REALLY feel love. What a wonderful thing.
I agree with everyone that so many things truely can help you achieve that level of connection to allow someone into that special place that we protect at all costs until we trust someone and welcome them into that wonderful part of who we are. There is one thing though, imo, above all the other wonderful dynamics of being treated good, cuddled, reassured, trusted and trusting, honesty, devotion, tenderness all of those precious parts in a real loving relationship... And that is, imo, that look. It is a look from their eyes that radiates back into mine that is just beyond anything that can really be explained. It is that place where songs are written before they are sung, where poetry is thought of before it is written, where dancing is felt before any movement and a place where the words "I love you" are touched before they are spoken. That to me is what *i* need, want and desire. That is love and if that place is felt..the rest will fall into place.
__________________
~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou |
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10-27-2010, 03:09 PM
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#6 |
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Senior Member
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Too old to play. Join Date: Nov 2009
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I look deep into my eyes and say I lovel you in the mirror or I drink a smooth whiskey and smoke a good cigar
__________________
1 Kings 19:12 |
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10-27-2010, 07:21 PM
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#7 |
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Senior Member
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Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status:
Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009
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A Look
Nurture Me Laugh With Me Consistency in Words and Actions Affection Lots And Lots Of It Trust Honesty Sensitivity Romance Making Me A Priority Be Spontaneous. Surprise Me At My Place At My Job... Fall Asleep In My Arms Love me for me. Dont try and change me. Im stubborn as hell. But if you have my heart I'll hang the moon for you... 
Last edited by bigbutchmistie; 10-27-2010 at 07:35 PM. |
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10-27-2010, 01:24 PM
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#8 |
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Infamous Member
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Married 
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....attention....
__________________
Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears |
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10-27-2010, 03:48 PM
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#9 |
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Junior Member
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Her Majesty Relationship Status:
Engaged 
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Fun and interesting thread and with so many commonalities I wonder if were all consciously giving it back..
but anywho... What I need to feel loved: I need to know you got my back.. day and night, when i am right and when I am wrong. Not to stand up for me but with me or support me when I am wrong and say so.. gently... I need someone to share the load. Not just expect life will miraculously poof in front of them.. this includes clean clothes, the dinner, a movie night out, or a vacation abroad.. Hold my hand Sleep with me at night Hug me before running off in the morning leave the world outside our front door, often. Surprise me.. little tiny cute girly things.. Honesty, say yeah or nah and know its ok.. and make sure its ok when I say it back. Mean what you say or dont say it at all. If you're not getting what you need, say so. equality Make us as important than you or me Im sure there is more or even less but the older I get the more I see how important working together to make the relationship makes me feel loved, to know I am important, cherished, needed, wanted, desired, when were both in it for each others well being. Star |
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10-27-2010, 11:00 PM
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#10 |
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Senior Member
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Queer Femme Relationship Status:
Ethical Nonmonogamist Join Date: Dec 2009
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I don't know anymore. But that doesn't mean I give up.
__________________
My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart. - Maya Angelou |
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10-28-2010, 12:06 AM
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#11 |
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Infamous Member
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femme Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
Married
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I am working my 12 steps of AA and doing my inventory and you know, I have discovered a whole bunch of stuff about me.
Including how I define love. as well as how I have settled for what wasnt love and how I justified it in my head. I put down in an earlier post that I need attention to feel loved. Thats correct. I do. Its the number one thing I must have from someone in order to feel loved. It doesnt have to be alot. It doesnt have to be lavish. But it has to be ENOUGH. And if I have to spell out to them what enough is, then I dont feel loved. Period. Its simply not the right relationship for me.
__________________
Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears |
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10-28-2010, 07:08 AM
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#12 |
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Member
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human 
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basically i only need respect...
it seems like a small thing... but... all those other little things can be present... all the right moves... looks... words... but... realizing that respect is not there blows it all away... |
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10-28-2010, 07:10 AM
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#13 |
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Senior Member
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Ummmm Relationship Status:
Nah 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Sunshine State, State of Sunshine
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fruit snacks and granola
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10-28-2010, 08:50 AM
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#14 |
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Senior Member
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I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
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To spend one on one time with my beautiful, smart, sassy, bright, funny nieces.
To get lots of hugs and cuddles with them... to watch them play their sports; or dance around the house in their froggy pjs and slide around the kitchen in their fuzzy socks; to giggle at them as they bounce around their rooms telling me about their crushes; to have the youngest curl up on my lap when she asks me to read to her; to get tickled when the oldest asks to brush and braid my hair; to watch how silly they are on the trampoline; to hear them once again yell out "Aunt, You're THE BOMB!!"; to share "ooooo's and ahhhh's" as we all huddle around the computer to flip through the National Geographic website and to have them tell me of places they dream to visit; to inspire them when they tell me what they want to be when they grow up.... to be there for them when they need me. To be a part of their life as much as possible. To give them the HUGE Love and Attention back that they lavish on me. To see them happy and to watch them grow into beautiful, well accomplished, confident, well loved young ladies. |
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10-28-2010, 08:54 AM
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#15 |
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Practically Lives Here
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Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
dee Relationship Status:
Hitched up 
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love at this point in my life means cut the crap and own me, tell me "You belong to me and don't fucking forget it",
unless of course, you are my mother .gif "Say What?")
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08-27-2016, 09:31 AM
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#16 |
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Senior Member
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Truly Madly Deeply Join Date: Aug 2011
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It's hard to put into words what makes me feel loved. I'm not sure I even know half the time what will work during any given set of circumstances. I know we all have our issues and our baggage. Personally I have a lot of luggage. I'm no picnic for sure. But whatever it is I need, whatever it is it takes, my wife is doing it. Thirteen years and counting. I am so lucky she loves me. She just naturally finds the holes in my heart and somehow fills them.
__________________
The reason facts don’t change most people’s opinions is because most people don’t use facts to form their opinions. They use their opinions to form their “facts.” Neil Strauss |
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08-30-2016, 05:12 PM
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#17 |
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Junior Member
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Transman Join Date: Aug 2016
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when i feel trusted i feel loved...as im a loyal old dog
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08-30-2016, 05:50 PM
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#18 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?:
"I" and "we" Relationship Status:
Very good. Thank you for asking. 
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intimacy, good food, no yelling.
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I'm misunderestimated. 
Hybrid Mode
