Were you adopted in a closed adoption?

Apocalipstic · 12-15-2009, 11:59 AM

Thanks so much for participating!

I also was born in Oklahoma and adopted at 11 days. At the time I was born, 1963, Oklahoma had the highest rate of unwed mothers in the US and was the only state where you adopt a child and immediately take them out of the country.

I have met my birth parents, but after the original Ophah moment it was disappointing. I needed them to be sorry for discarding me, and they aren't. They gave me away because they loved me so much into a very very abusive situation. Logically I know they did the best they could.

When I met them I had what is called "the bastard moment" when you go from an upstanding member of society back to where you have to lie about who you are or have relatives who wont even look at you because you ruined their mother's life and so forth. It's not always or even often a happy daytime TV moment.

I was always told I was adopted, and at first thought all children were chosen. I later learned chosen as a replacement for the child my adopted parents dreamed they could have on their own. An impostor.

My birth certificate (the one made after the adoption, the one that does not have illegitimate stamped on it) says I am Scots Irish and that my adopted parents gave birth to me. Actually I am Irish and Cherokee. Not even the race they wanted.

I am no fan of the closed adoption system. Lies and secrets abound.

More later.

12-15-2009, 11:59 AM	#7
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Thanks so much for participating! I also was born in Oklahoma and adopted at 11 days. At the time I was born, 1963, Oklahoma had the highest rate of unwed mothers in the US and was the only state where you adopt a child and immediately take them out of the country. I have met my birth parents, but after the original Ophah moment it was disappointing. I needed them to be sorry for discarding me, and they aren't. They gave me away because they loved me so much into a very very abusive situation. Logically I know they did the best they could. When I met them I had what is called "the bastard moment" when you go from an upstanding member of society back to where you have to lie about who you are or have relatives who wont even look at you because you ruined their mother's life and so forth. It's not always or even often a happy daytime TV moment. I was always told I was adopted, and at first thought all children were chosen. I later learned chosen as a replacement for the child my adopted parents dreamed they could have on their own. An impostor. My birth certificate (the one made after the adoption, the one that does not have illegitimate stamped on it) says I am Scots Irish and that my adopted parents gave birth to me. Actually I am Irish and Cherokee. Not even the race they wanted. I am no fan of the closed adoption system. Lies and secrets abound. More later. __________________