Getting Rid of Flippant Language : Check Yourselves Here

[blush]

"wife-beater" instead of tank top

Yeah, I've used this term, but I'm really trying to get it out of my vocabulary.

[Diva]

I love this thread, even though I'm the Queen of Flippant. Ok....maybe Medusa is the Queen, but I'm in the court there somewhere......

~Don't care for the term "wife~beater" either.
~Don't care for the word "retarded".
~My Dad ~ God bless his redneck heart ~ used to say "colored" all the time when describing an African~American.....and every time I heard him say it, I asked him what color they were. He would look at me like I'd lost my mind and say "black". But I can remember when he said the "n" word as a small child, too.....<shiver>
~Don't care for the word "bastard", but I am known to use the word "bastid", which I guess can be considered doubly bad, as I'm saying "bastard" and making sport of the northeastern accent in the process.....

But like someone mentioned earlier, it's in the intent, I'm thinking......I don't mean for it to be hurtful when I say "bastid".....so if I AM, then call me on it. I'm really ok with that. If we start bein' offended by everything everybody says, we'll all be playin' Pictionary pretty soon.....

Edited to add that I have ADD & am technically a bastid myself.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Medusa

I was doing some thinking over the last few weeks and wanted to bring up a topic of discussion about hurtful language or the flippant use of words that might be super hurtful to other folks.

I have been making a concious effort not to say someone is "a pussy" if I feel they are acting in a rat-like, weasely, wimpish, or spineless manner. Because really, Im a feminist and using a word like "pussy" to describe bad behavior doesnt flow with my feminist roots all that well.

Im also trying to be more conscious of using the verbiage "someone is bitching and griping" because again, "bitching" implies "whining like a bitch". And I think we might all be able to see the problem with using the word "bitch" in this manner

Another one that I feel is particularly hurtful:

"r*tard" - as in "something is r*tarded"

Let's talk about it. Are there words that you find offensive when used flippantly? Have you done work around your own set of problematic language?
Let's talk about breaking those habits and developing new ways of speaking.

I think it's a wonderful idea for thread, since we all have used words and phrases that have hurt others throughout our lives. It's impossible to not have done so.

Originally Posted by Bob

Not to make light of your condition, Just_G, but this is a good example of why it's impossible to speak in such a way that no one will ever be offended. Or, to use a more personal example, several years ago I was diagnosed with ADD. It annoys the living crap out of me (no offense to sentient crap intended) when people make silly remarks about ADD, about 'ooh, bright shiny' etc. They've got some sound-bite knowledge about it (ergo, none), and have no idea what the real experience of ADD is like (frequently, quite difficult and painful.) Be that as it may, it's an annoyance, not something that offends me. Because, after all, you can't LOOK at me at tell that I have it.

Using words that are clearly derogatory and directed at body parts, skin color, (obvious) mental handicaps and the like are used way too often by a lot of people who should know better. My theory? We're lazy and as a culture have become coarsened to certain types of language. (I'm so sick of hearing the word fuck and its derivatives used as a noun, verb, adjective, and gerund I could fuckin cut a bitch.) In Medusa's example of using 'pussy/bitch' around her femme friends and that being okay is no more so than blacks referring to themselves as niggas. The argument (which Medusa didn't make, I hasten to add) that it's somehow empowering, I think, is bullshit. I think it subconsciously reinforces negative stereotypes even within the groups that are 'taking back' the word(s) at issue.

I got off track here and can't find the rails. Nevermind.

I got a lot out of this post, but I hesitated when I came to the underlined part. Our community has 'taken back' many terms that were used in a derogatory manner, such as dyke and Queer.

As someone who id's as Queer, I hope that I'm not reinforcing a negative stereotype of Queers.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by blush

"wife-beater" instead of tank top

Yeah, I've used this term, but I'm really trying to get it out of my vocabulary.

I really don't like this either. My oldest sister was with a wife-beating, cheating, alcoholic husband for 14 years and there is just not one redeeming quality about its usage to me. She left him, raised her kids (did not get one penny of child support and worked to provide for them even after remarriage, put all 3 through college/vocational school) and did remarry a great guy that loves and respects her and her kids.

Besides, some peeps look great in them and I just can't put that identification on them! My son has a great body and is a good man, husband and father. He (like most people) do not deserve to be having what they have on put in this context. Many peeps here do not deserve this, either!