Getting Rid of Flippant Language : Check Yourselves Here

[apretty]

Originally Posted by June

This just happened today where someone who claims to love, worship and adore ALL Femmes referred to one of them as a pig.

--June

or how about the (very large) butch that makes references to the SIZE of a larger femme?

i think that you should name names so that i can send an xmas card all infected with my current bout of (not really, but it sounds dramatic) swine flu.

[apretty]

Originally Posted by June

I digress here, but I sat in the presence of someone once that expounded on what made someone an "A" list Femme. First thing on the list? Thin. Of course, according to this person, an "A" list Femme could only be had by an "A" list Butch who should be in this order 1) Thin 2) Rich

Oh, Jesus. The things we do to each other in the name of heirarchy. For the record, I am not a fan of the threads devoted to the love of big folks, when I know that many in our community would be all up someone's ass if they started one expounding the beauty of thin folks. And that's June's opinion as a community member FWIW. Have at it

I'll see your and raise you a

i totally get your point on the thin-empowering-thread. but, fact is--the fat-lacking peoples aren't a disenfranchised group. does this make a difference, or no? just curious. i am fuzzyheaded from this faux-swine flu, so i'm sans piss and/or vinegar.

ps. i'm not a super huge fan of the fatgirl threads because they feel a little woo-woo to me and i'm more than my size, i'm my size in addition to lots of other stuff, but it's not the end-all be all. plus, i am not satisfied with my current weight. i fluctuate a lot and i do weight-watchers (not in the last couple of months) and i go for periods of exercising and not exercising--either way, i am interested in my *health* in relation to *my personal* size and it's a (huge fucking) battle. but, again--it begins and ends with my loving myself. today. currently. at this size. /rant. still, i think it (the big folks threads) has the potential to be some amazing space when you come from a place (in real life) where "the fat" is super hush-hush and never mentioned...



ps. i love pigs, i don't even eat pork!

[Queerasfck]

Originally Posted by apretty

i totally get your point on the thin-empowering-thread. but, fact is--the fat-lacking peoples aren't a disenfranchised group. does this make a difference, or no? just curious. i am fuzzyheaded from this faux-swine flu, so i'm sans piss and/or vinegar.

ps. i'm not a super huge fan of the fatgirl threads because they feel a little woo-woo to me and i'm more than my size, i'm my size in addition to lots of other stuff, but it's not the end-all be all. plus, i am not satisfied with my current weight. i fluctuate a lot and i do weight-watchers (not in the last couple of months) and i go for periods of exercising and not exercising--either way, i am interested in my *health* in relation to *my personal* size and it's a (huge fucking) battle. but, again--it begins and ends with my loving myself. today. currently. at this size. /rant. still, i think it (the big folks threads) has the potential to be some amazing space when you come from a place (in real life) where "the fat" is super hush-hush and never mentioned...



ps. i love pigs, i don't even eat pork!

I'm eating Ben and Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream right now. Want some???

[WILDCAT]

Originally Posted by EzeeTiger

I'm eating Ben and Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream right now. Want some???

OK, question here. To me this response "seemed flippant".

No offense EzeeTiger, and you and apretty might be very close for all I know and this is just fun joking between you two.

But, to ME... I saw apretty poor her guts out, talking about something very personally vulnerable, as it is to many - to be dismissed by what appears to be a form of mocking, by dangling ice cream in front of someone stating they struggle. I don't get the point of this post, thus. Apretty stated she was not satisifed with her current weight and it is a (huge fucking) battle. As my weight is with me, and I'm sure others as well here.

So, am I too sensitive and overprotective? If someone said, "I don't care what size I am" and then someone offered ice cream, I would feel completely different about it. But, this felt hurtful somehow.

Hope it is OK that I used this example. I felt I couldn't get past it. If you or anyone could help me understand why this would not be seen as possibly hurtful - then please do.

Sincerely,
WILDCAT

[Queerasfck]

Originally Posted by WILDCAT

OK, question here. To me this response "seemed flippant".

No offense EzeeTiger, and you and apretty might be very close for all I know and this is just fun joking between you two.

But, to ME... I saw apretty poor her guts out, talking about something very personally vulnerable, as it is to many - to be dismissed by what appears to be a form of mocking, by dangling ice cream in front of someone stating they struggle. I don't get the point of this post, thus. Apretty stated she was not satisifed with her current weight and it is a (huge fucking) battle. As my weight is with me, and I'm sure others as well here.

So, am I too sensitive and overprotective? If someone said, "I don't care what size I am" and then someone offered ice cream, I would feel completely different about it. But, this felt hurtful somehow.

Hope it is OK that I used this example. I felt I couldn't get past it. If you or anyone could help me understand why this would not be seen as possibly hurtful - then please do.

Sincerely,
WILDCAT

Dear WILDCAT,

Yeah, we're kinda close.

Thanks,

Ezee

[apretty]

Originally Posted by EzeeTiger

I'm eating Ben and Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream right now. Want some???

feeder! and thanks, i really didn't need that dairy!

thanks Wildcat, EZ is being as sensitive as he can (which ain't a lot).

[WILDCAT]

Originally Posted by apretty

feeder! and thanks, i really didn't need that dairy!

thanks Wildcat, EZ is being as sensitive as he can (which ain't a lot).

OK, perhaps then I should wait and see responses. I apologize. (I initially was going to state you two could be partners for all I know!)




PEACE!

[apretty]

Originally Posted by WILDCAT

OK, perhaps then I should wait and see responses. I apologize. (I initially was going to state you two could be partners for all I know!)




PEACE!

sorry, Wildcat, i didn't even consider that that was a 'fat comment' because i know EZ so well and he's just not like that (we are partners, living together and all that good stuff). i would have probably said something too, being sensitive to that kind of thing. thank you for your thoughtfulness.

[WILDCAT]

Originally Posted by apretty

sorry, Wildcat, i didn't even consider that that was a 'fat comment' because i know EZ so well and he's just not like that (we are partners, living together and all that good stuff). i would have probably said something too, being sensitive to that kind of thing. thank you for your thoughtfulness.

Smiling here. I DO feel a bit embarrassed. Yep! I thought "what if these two are partners"? However, my other protective and sensitive side took over and thought, "ouch, that felt like a kick in the gut". Well, my issues and it was being discussed here. I admired your post on your personal take - responding to June's post. (Liked your post too June!)

This is why it is good that we discuss these kinds of things. We're just writing and I certainly don't realize who all knows who and "how". See, now I know with [you two] the response was really about "acceptance", which is a beautiful thing!

The weight issue is so loaded in our society - and as some have posted here, comes through on the site in ways not always comfortable for all.
__

I did "pause" to see if someone was going to stand up somehow, (you or a friend to be exact - you seem to be "apretty strong woman"). I just didn't wait LONG ENOUGH!

My bad... I distain folks ripping on heavier folks.



Wildcat

*Thank you so much for understanding and the feedback. I really appreciate that! Thanks to you too, EZ!! Enjoy your holidays!!

[Queerasfck]

Originally Posted by apretty

feeder! and thanks, i really didn't need that dairy!

thanks Wildcat, EZ is being as sensitive as he can (which ain't a lot).

where thread for me--insensitive, caveman butch?? UGH.