Abuse Support

JustLovelyJenn · 12-01-2010, 12:56 AM

I started this thread because I need help... and I didn't see anywhere that I fit.

Two years ago I moved back in with my parents, to get help trying to get on my feet and get my kids back, and be able to build a life for myself. I knew my parents views were different then mine, and that things wouldn't be easy, but it was my best option at the time.

My kids moved in with us, I found a good job, and I'm trying to go back to school... but I have a big problem.

My brother who also lives here is severely emotionally and verbally abusive, my mother enables him, makes excuses for him, and justifies his actions. Things have at times become explosive... and once, he has pushed me to a point of snapping.

I'm guilty of feeding into this. I know I'm part of the problem, when he says something... I can snap back, get defensive... but its hard to have my parenting, my "lifestyle" and every other aspect of my life criticized and demeaned.

Recently, I have been feeling the subtle things from my mother as well, more then I used to... comments about my orientation that I am being selfish to consider living with another woman... about my being a bad mother, or at least by her standards... that my anxiety and depression are stupid or made up.

Over the holiday weekend things went crazy. My folks were out of town and my brother was here alone with me. I was called names I care not to repeat, told I was worthless and forgotten. He screamed at me, got in my face, and scared my children.

When mom got home from her holiday... she told us all (myself and my two brothers that live here) that if we don't learn to get along, shes kicking us out. It became obvious within an hour that this meant for me that if I was called names, accused of things, or talked down to.... I was to say absolutely nothing. I am no longer allowed to stand up for myself. My life is now apparently being run for me... what housework I am to do and when, when to help my kids with homework... etc.

I hate who I am anymore. I can't keep my kids on my own, if I'm not here I don't have them. I feel like I want to leave. I just don't know what to do anymore.

12-01-2010, 12:56 AM	#2
JustLovelyJenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: That's Need to Know Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Aberdeen, WA Posts: 4,478 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12,464 Thanked 13,993 Times in 3,685 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I started this thread because I need help... and I didn't see anywhere that I fit. Two years ago I moved back in with my parents, to get help trying to get on my feet and get my kids back, and be able to build a life for myself. I knew my parents views were different then mine, and that things wouldn't be easy, but it was my best option at the time. My kids moved in with us, I found a good job, and I'm trying to go back to school... but I have a big problem. My brother who also lives here is severely emotionally and verbally abusive, my mother enables him, makes excuses for him, and justifies his actions. Things have at times become explosive... and once, he has pushed me to a point of snapping. I'm guilty of feeding into this. I know I'm part of the problem, when he says something... I can snap back, get defensive... but its hard to have my parenting, my "lifestyle" and every other aspect of my life criticized and demeaned. Recently, I have been feeling the subtle things from my mother as well, more then I used to... comments about my orientation that I am being selfish to consider living with another woman... about my being a bad mother, or at least by her standards... that my anxiety and depression are stupid or made up. Over the holiday weekend things went crazy. My folks were out of town and my brother was here alone with me. I was called names I care not to repeat, told I was worthless and forgotten. He screamed at me, got in my face, and scared my children. When mom got home from her holiday... she told us all (myself and my two brothers that live here) that if we don't learn to get along, shes kicking us out. It became obvious within an hour that this meant for me that if I was called names, accused of things, or talked down to.... I was to say absolutely nothing. I am no longer allowed to stand up for myself. My life is now apparently being run for me... what housework I am to do and when, when to help my kids with homework... etc. I hate who I am anymore. I can't keep my kids on my own, if I'm not here I don't have them. I feel like I want to leave. I just don't know what to do anymore. __________________ --Jenn