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Old 12-13-2010, 01:50 PM   #1
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Me: How was the cup 'o noodles? As bad as you remembered?

Organic: No, it wasn't that bad, once I spiced it up.

Me: Oh, what did you use?

Organic: Butter.

Me: Butter's not a spice! It's lard.

Organic: Okay, then it's spicy lard.
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Old 12-13-2010, 02:22 PM   #2
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a little background--we have a mini dachshund that tends to forget where doggie door is

(2:30am) i am awakened by what sounds like a low whining noise

ME:dammit Shadow(the dog) you can go outside yourself
(louder whining)

Me: (louder as im throwing covers off of me) for the love of God Shadow,ur such a pain in my ass

Jo: (sleepily) honey Shadow isnt in here,it must be me snoring

Me: then roll over

Jo: that doesnt really help yanno

ME: then get some damn Breathe Right strips or something

Jo: i told you those dont help

Me: (under my breath) and you wonder why im so cranky all the time--i never get any sleep around here)

Jo: what honey?

Me: nothing--go back to sleep
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Old 12-13-2010, 02:53 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scootebaby View Post
a little background--we have a mini dachshund that tends to forget where doggie door is

(2:30am) i am awakened by what sounds like a low whining noise

ME:dammit Shadow(the dog) you can go outside yourself
(louder whining)

Me: (louder as im throwing covers off of me) for the love of God Shadow,ur such a pain in my ass

Jo: (sleepily) honey Shadow isnt in here,it must be me snoring

Me: then roll over

Jo: that doesnt really help yanno

ME: then get some damn Breathe Right strips or something

Jo: i told you those dont help

Me: (under my breath) and you wonder why im so cranky all the time--i never get any sleep around here)

Jo: what honey?

Me: nothing--go back to sleep
That's funny maybe JO should go for a sleep study and see if its sleep apnea!!
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Old 12-13-2010, 02:59 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by lipstixgal View Post
That's funny maybe JO should go for a sleep study and see if its sleep apnea!!
Jo: Honey, Lips thinks I should go for a sleep study

Scoote (grumbling): Why the hell should you go for the study?

Jo: Well why not?

Scoote (still grumbling): Cuz I'm the one that doesn't get any damn sleep.

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Old 12-13-2010, 03:03 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scootebaby View Post
a little background--we have a mini dachshund that tends to forget where doggie door is

(2:30am) i am awakened by what sounds like a low whining noise

ME:dammit Shadow(the dog) you can go outside yourself
(louder whining)

Me: (louder as im throwing covers off of me) for the love of God Shadow,ur such a pain in my ass

Jo: (sleepily) honey Shadow isnt in here,it must be me snoring

Me: then roll over

Jo: that doesnt really help yanno

ME: then get some damn Breathe Right strips or something

Jo: i told you those dont help

Me: (under my breath) and you wonder why im so cranky all the time--i never get any sleep around here)

Jo: what honey?

Me: nothing--go back to sleep
As someone who has periods of being sleep-deprived due to partner snoring, thwap her upside the head with a nice fluffy pillow.

I don't know if it would help, but it sure makes me feel better.
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Old 12-13-2010, 03:06 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
As someone who has periods of being sleep-deprived due to partner snoring, thwap her upside the head with a nice fluffy pillow.

I don't know if it would help, but it sure makes me feel better.

lmao...i'll have to try that bc the elbow in the ribs doesnt really work
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Old 12-13-2010, 04:05 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJo
Jo: Honey, Lips thinks I should go for a sleep study

Scoote (grumbling): Why the hell should you go for the study?

Jo: Well why not?

Scoote (still grumbling): Cuz I'm the one that doesn't get any damn sleep.


Geez someone's getting ornery in their old age aren't they?
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Old 12-13-2010, 06:44 PM   #8
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Default heard in car on way to dinner

JO: Santa got the "family" a silly gift
Rooster: (excitedly) what? what did Santa get us?
JO: i dont know im not santa
Rooster: uhhh yes you are!
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Old 12-13-2010, 07:12 PM   #9
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Default After the doorbell rigs......


I got home about noon on Friday from Milwaukee....as I'm stripping off clothes
(layers from coming from sub zero weather to 75 degrees) the door bell rings.....
I put a tee shirt back on and answer the door....dude standing there...

Me: Can I help you?
Him: Is the RV in the yard for sale?
Me: Do you see a FOR SALE sign on it?
Him: No, but I thought it couldn't hurt to ask.
Me: If there isn't a FOR SALE sign that usually means something ain't for sale!
Him: How about not moving it and renting it out where it stands?
Me: I don't think so.....Nope, not in a million years!

Door slam!!


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Old 10-28-2012, 03:58 PM   #10
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Default haha

My wife : honey everyday is like Christmas for me bc I ask and you just get it for me .

Me : baby if everyday is like Christmas then how come I still don't have my new remington hunting rifle or my jeep Willy ?????

My wife : well daddy maybe everyday for you is Halloween bc I do keep you stocked with candy and make you treats a lot .

Me : honey , I'd trade Halloween for Christmas then

My wife : isn't the browns playing today ?

Me : way to change the subject honey

Shakes head ....
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Old 10-31-2012, 05:44 AM   #11
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Teddy and I were discussing out ancestries....

Me: You gotta admit...the Irish are a happy bunch. We have a great sense of humor.

Teddy: Yeah, but that's because they're always drinking!

ahem......
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Old 10-31-2012, 06:16 AM   #12
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cinn and i have many of these funny conversations

last nite while going to pick up her eldest child .....

cinn...i think god has a plan for cause i have missed dying several times in my life time

me... yes me too. i have cheated death several times in the last cpl yrs alone
at least 3 times within the last 10 yrs. i started listing them cancer, just this past sept, and i kept listing them at the same time cinn and i said

were married to a crazy woman who tried at times wanted to kill me

we both started laughing hystericaly
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Old 10-31-2012, 10:43 AM   #13
chakra
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Saturday my phone mysteriously shut down and froze.

Hours later it decided to mysteriously work.

I listened to a message from my son: "Mom, your phone is fucked. Call me"

<- hmmmmm now how can I do that with a broken phone.
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