Labels

Mitmo01 · 11-09-2009, 03:17 PM

the tone of this site seems to be much more open to free thinking, i dont think anyone is going to send the thought police after them here...

it feels like people are not going to get smacked down for saying something they want to express or think or feel...not so much for other places unfortunatley

Mitmo01 · 11-09-2009, 03:18 PM

mmmmmmm i love shapes and sizes...yum

little man · 11-09-2009, 03:27 PM

when traveling in the world outside queer culture, labels don't really apply so much, do they?

personally, i'm fond of being called mister. i just like it. i gots a ton of labels, not any of them indicative of my sexual proclivities. i think w/in queer culture, it's used mostly as a marker for who's fair game for what. again, with polarities and binaries, eh?

some people in this world cannot find the box, let alone the outside of it. they need labels, billboards and some hand-holding. the key is that you're cool with who you are. anyone who isn't, probably isn't worth the time.

D-Money · 11-09-2009, 03:43 PM

i am unnaturally fond of Flavor Blast Goldfish crackers ... label me for that

Words · 11-09-2009, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D-Money

i am unnaturally fond of Flavor Blast Goldfish crackers ... label me for that

Do they make you fart?

If they don't, then you're obviously a femme because everyone knows that femmes don't fart.

Seriously.

Words

D-Money · 11-09-2009, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Words

Do they make you fart?

If they don't, then you're obviously a femme because everyone knows that femmes don't fart.

Seriously.

Words

hhahahahahahahahaaha!! NO!! and NO, missy!!

D-Money · 11-09-2009, 04:08 PM

okay, back to serious ...

for years, claiming 'femme' was very much a part of who i thought i was.

on other butch/femme sites (i don't feel the need to specify) i was that bitch who grilled non-label-lovers who came to the site claiming they didn't label themselves. "this site is for butches and femmes! if you don't identify, wtf are you doing here?! go find your own site, you ... you LESBIAN!" i didn't even realize my own need at the time to label them ... or even that i was doing it.

i was so wrapped up in how important my own label was to me that i didn't even listen to where they might have been coming from- i was blind to everything but what i perceived to be an attack on my own labeling of myself.

in light of the course of my own journey in recent years, i can see myself on the other side of that controversy. i probably deserve it ... (i really was a bitch)

Words · 11-09-2009, 04:10 PM

Well, since you're eating crackers made of poor little goldfish then you're obviously not a vegetarian, which rules out the possibility of your being a lesbian, (because everyone knows that lesbians only eat hummus and tabouleh), so...I have to wonder....

Do you only eat goldfish crackers or do you sometimes eat other types of crackers as well (in which case, you must be bi-sexual because everyone knows that bisexuals are indecisive and lack the ability to choose one type of cracker and stick with it)?

Well?

Words

Mitmo01 · 11-09-2009, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Words

Do they make you fart?

If they don't, then you're obviously a femme because everyone knows that femmes don't fart.

Seriously.

Words

ahhahahahahaha lmfao that is hilarious the ones i know can blow louder than i can lol

Jett · 11-09-2009, 04:17 PM

...on one hand it's is useful to have something to say "in a nutshell this is what I am". Still I don't like the confining feel that comes with them, because whether you like it or not, people are going to use their lens and paint you with their interpretation of your label.

It use to bug the crap out of me... at this point in my life I really don't care as much... I am who I am and those who truly care will take the time to get to know me.

Darth Denkay · 11-12-2009, 10:43 PM

I feel similarly. I appreciate labels for a couple reasons. One, they give me a starting point. They don't map out the whole entity but I've got something to start with. Secondly, my identity allowed myself to find a community, to realize there is a name for someone like me. Butch doesn't box me in - it allows me to be free to be me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metropolis

...on one hand it's is useful to have something to say "in a nutshell this is what I am". Still I don't like the confining feel that comes with them, because whether you like it or not, people are going to use their lens and paint you with their interpretation of your label.

It use to bug the crap out of me... at this point in my life I really don't care as much... I am who I am and those who truly care will take the time to get to know me.

Diva · 11-12-2009, 11:07 PM

When I first came out, my friends were trying to set me up with one who later became my partner for 8 years.....but when she first saw me, she leaned over to our mutual friend and said, "She's not a lesbian, she's somebody's Mother!"

She got it half right. I like that label, too......

I have evolved since then..... <smile> Though I'm still using the Mom Label.

~Diva

D-Money · 11-13-2009, 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva

Though I'm still using the Mom Label.

yeah, i hear that one a lot, too ... on days when i'm really lucky!

Tommi · 11-13-2009, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva

When I first came out, my friends were trying to set me up with one who later became my partner for 8 years.....but when she first saw me, she leaned over to our mutual friend and said, "She's not a lesbian, she's somebody's Mother!"

She got it half right. I like that label, too......

I have evolved since then..... <smile> Though I'm still using the Mom Label.

~Diva

When I was foot loose and fancy free, I saw the Diva, and did not think of it in that manner.. Maybe Holy Mother of G....Phew..or whose the hot MAMA in town...well, just sayin...that Red Dress

yer lil Punkin

owen4u1904 · 01-24-2010, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva

When I first came out, my friends were trying to set me up with one who later became my partner for 8 years.....but when she first saw me, she leaned over to our mutual friend and said, "She's not a lesbian, she's somebody's Mother!"

She got it half right. I like that label, too......

I have evolved since then..... <smile> Though I'm still using the Mom Label.

~Diva

I like that one, after just now coming out I am still trying to figure out the whole clothes and labeling thing. I believe that you should not label yourself. You love who you love and at that is all. I would love to see people just go with feelings. I also do not like the idea that if you dress more "girly" you are considered femme. I dress in what I feel comfortable in, may it one day be a nice cute shirt and some nice pants or the next day a hoodie and baggy jeans. I am not trying to impress anyone with my looks, as long as I know I feel good about myself then I that is what I am most concerned about. And yes that whole mom label though is me, which is what I want people to see first and foremost.

BullDog · 11-13-2009, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WicketWWarrick

I feel similarly. I appreciate labels for a couple reasons. One, they give me a starting point. They don't map out the whole entity but I've got something to start with. Secondly, my identity allowed myself to find a community, to realize there is a name for someone like me. Butch doesn't box me in - it allows me to be free to be me.

I certainly don't think of my gender identity as a label. To quote someone from somewhere, labels are for soup cans.

I do agree with the Wicket- "Butch doesn't box me in - it allows me to be free to be me." And yes our identities is the major reason for how we all found each other here in this community in the first place.

D-Money · 11-13-2009, 10:04 PM

'femme' doesn't box me in ... it just doesn't fit. it's not who i am.

Jett · 05-25-2010, 08:46 PM

Because I was questioned twice about my "identity" spot in the side profile. Not that I have to explain but maybe this will clear things up.

As I said earlier in the thread labels feel confining to me, not that they can limit me, I just no longer have the same desire to present myself as or label myself in such a "defined" way as I have in "Stone Butch" for about a decade and a half. Maybe it's because we change and grow over time, and moreso how we view things change sometimes more than who we are.

No matter what I label my "identity" here, I still can strip down and rebuild engines, roof a house and am a hardcore motorcycle lovin' jeans and tee, boot wearin' queer female who loves mimosas and a bubble bath, yep... all my life... label no label, doesn't change a damn thing.

Besides there's too much crap all over defining this and that and drawing perimeters and I don't like living under the shadows others cast, I define myself. If anyone cares to know more they'll ask how I "identify". I'm just everyday people (well, maybe not quite but...)

If it's all about the identity labels for some here and not getting to know people as individuals, I don't know what to say except sorry bout yer bad luck.

Hell... I was just a hardcore dirt bike tomboy crushing on girls growing up and now maybe I'm just a full grown hardass tomboy who's attracted to femmes (of which I have one of my very own

). Now there's a fucked up label... hmmm who knows... maybe I like that one... but really, who cares?

Again I see them as important, needed, useful, celebration worthy and necessary for some especially in this community... to each their own, who ever you are just be who you need to be, just that for me I feel like I've out lived some of the usefulness of mine for myself. I still feel as connected to this community as ever, because of my experience and my life today and future.

That is all,
Metropolis

luciddreamer · 02-02-2010, 06:08 PM

I am not one for labels either...I am "just me"...lol I love my t-shirts,tank tops and jeans...but I also loveeee my lacy bras, thongs,tight fitting cleavage showing tops and a equally nice fitting pair of jeans with matching belt and shoes...lmao

As long as you are happy and comfortable I say !!!

casey35 · 02-02-2010, 06:16 PM

i am kinda new to the out of the closet so to speak( 6 years). I would be consider a femme by most who dont know me. But i am more then that I love the outside and sports and like getting dirty. But i also love my heels and dresses. I think everyone is more then just a label because most labels dont address all of you. That my humble opinion.

11-09-2009, 03:27 PM	#3
little man Member How Do You Identify?: mister Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: hard to hold Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: where the road goes on forever and the party never ends Posts: 1,003 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 169 Thanked 1,535 Times in 437 Posts Rep Power: 13709164	depends on where you're at and who you're with when traveling in the world outside queer culture, labels don't really apply so much, do they? personally, i'm fond of being called mister. i just like it. i gots a ton of labels, not any of them indicative of my sexual proclivities. i think w/in queer culture, it's used mostly as a marker for who's fair game for what. again, with polarities and binaries, eh? some people in this world cannot find the box, let alone the outside of it. they need labels, billboards and some hand-holding. the key is that you're cool with who you are. anyone who isn't, probably isn't worth the time.

11-09-2009, 04:10 PM	#8
Words Member How Do You Identify?: Queer femme submissive Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: UK Posts: 969 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,449 Thanked 4,258 Times in 677 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Well, since you're eating crackers made of poor little goldfish then you're obviously not a vegetarian, which rules out the possibility of your being a lesbian, (because everyone knows that lesbians only eat hummus and tabouleh), so...I have to wonder.... Do you only eat goldfish crackers or do you sometimes eat other types of crackers as well (in which case, you must be bi-sexual because everyone knows that bisexuals are indecisive and lack the ability to choose one type of cracker and stick with it)? Well? Words Last edited by Words; 11-09-2009 at 04:12 PM. Reason: Oops, sorry, sorry your 'back to serious' post too late...

11-09-2009, 04:17 PM	#10
Jett Member How Do You Identify?: Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: she loves my shaggy hair Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination Posts: 1,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,054 Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Big love hate relationship with labels... ...on one hand it's is useful to have something to say "in a nutshell this is what I am". Still I don't like the confining feel that comes with them, because whether you like it or not, people are going to use their lens and paint you with their interpretation of your label. It use to bug the crap out of me... at this point in my life I really don't care as much... I am who I am and those who truly care will take the time to get to know me.

05-25-2010, 08:46 PM	#18
Jett Member How Do You Identify?: Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: she loves my shaggy hair Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination Posts: 1,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,054 Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Because I was questioned twice about my "identity" spot in the side profile. Not that I have to explain but maybe this will clear things up. As I said earlier in the thread labels feel confining to me, not that they can limit me, I just no longer have the same desire to present myself as or label myself in such a "defined" way as I have in "Stone Butch" for about a decade and a half. Maybe it's because we change and grow over time, and moreso how we view things change sometimes more than who we are. No matter what I label my "identity" here, I still can strip down and rebuild engines, roof a house and am a hardcore motorcycle lovin' jeans and tee, boot wearin' queer female who loves mimosas and a bubble bath, yep... all my life... label no label, doesn't change a damn thing. Besides there's too much crap all over defining this and that and drawing perimeters and I don't like living under the shadows others cast, I define myself. If anyone cares to know more they'll ask how I "identify". I'm just everyday people (well, maybe not quite but...) If it's all about the identity labels for some here and not getting to know people as individuals, I don't know what to say except sorry bout yer bad luck. Hell... I was just a hardcore dirt bike tomboy crushing on girls growing up and now maybe I'm just a full grown hardass tomboy who's attracted to femmes (of which I have one of my very own ). Now there's a fucked up label... hmmm who knows... maybe I like that one... but really, who cares? Again I see them as important, needed, useful, celebration worthy and necessary for some especially in this community... to each their own, who ever you are just be who you need to be, just that for me I feel like I've out lived some of the usefulness of mine for myself. I still feel as connected to this community as ever, because of my experience and my life today and future. That is all, Metropolis __________________ .......... In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

02-02-2010, 06:16 PM	#20
casey35 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: a she Relationship Status: finding my way , Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: arkansas Posts: 74 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2 Thanked 108 Times in 32 Posts Rep Power: 859274	labels i am kinda new to the out of the closet so to speak( 6 years). I would be consider a femme by most who dont know me. But i am more then that I love the outside and sports and like getting dirty. But i also love my heels and dresses. I think everyone is more then just a label because most labels dont address all of you. That my humble opinion.

11-09-2009, 03:17 PM	#1
Mitmo01 Member How Do You Identify?: Disobedient Thing... Preferred Pronoun?: Rebel Soul in the blood..Heathen as well Relationship Status: Marked and Loved....I Belong to Her.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Omaha Posts: 984 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,523 Thanked 1,354 Times in 579 Posts Rep Power: 927728	the tone of this site seems to be much more open to free thinking, i dont think anyone is going to send the thought police after them here... it feels like people are not going to get smacked down for saying something they want to express or think or feel...not so much for other places unfortunatley

11-09-2009, 03:18 PM	#2
Mitmo01 Member How Do You Identify?: Disobedient Thing... Preferred Pronoun?: Rebel Soul in the blood..Heathen as well Relationship Status: Marked and Loved....I Belong to Her.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Omaha Posts: 984 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,523 Thanked 1,354 Times in 579 Posts Rep Power: 927728	mmmmmmm i love shapes and sizes...yum

11-09-2009, 03:43 PM	#4
D-Money Member How Do You Identify?: i do what i want :) Relationship Status: well, i'm not banging my ex anymore, so that's good ;) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: at The Pink Taco. really ... it's called The Pink Taco ;) Posts: 126 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 86 Times in 34 Posts Rep Power: 48487	i am unnaturally fond of Flavor Blast Goldfish crackers ... label me for that

11-09-2009, 04:08 PM	#7
D-Money Member How Do You Identify?: i do what i want :) Relationship Status: well, i'm not banging my ex anymore, so that's good ;) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: at The Pink Taco. really ... it's called The Pink Taco ;) Posts: 126 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 86 Times in 34 Posts Rep Power: 48487	okay, back to serious ... for years, claiming 'femme' was very much a part of who i thought i was. on other butch/femme sites (i don't feel the need to specify) i was that bitch who grilled non-label-lovers who came to the site claiming they didn't label themselves. "this site is for butches and femmes! if you don't identify, wtf are you doing here?! go find your own site, you ... you LESBIAN!" i didn't even realize my own need at the time to label them ... or even that i was doing it. i was so wrapped up in how important my own label was to me that i didn't even listen to where they might have been coming from- i was blind to everything but what i perceived to be an attack on my own labeling of myself. in light of the course of my own journey in recent years, i can see myself on the other side of that controversy. i probably deserve it ... (i really was a bitch)

11-12-2009, 11:07 PM	#12
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	When I first came out, my friends were trying to set me up with one who later became my partner for 8 years.....but when she first saw me, she leaned over to our mutual friend and said, "She's not a lesbian, she's somebody's Mother!" She got it half right. I like that label, too...... I have evolved since then..... <smile> Though I'm still using the Mom Label. ~Diva

11-13-2009, 10:04 PM	#17
D-Money Member How Do You Identify?: i do what i want :) Relationship Status: well, i'm not banging my ex anymore, so that's good ;) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: at The Pink Taco. really ... it's called The Pink Taco ;) Posts: 126 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 86 Times in 34 Posts Rep Power: 48487	'femme' doesn't box me in ... it just doesn't fit. it's not who i am.

02-02-2010, 06:08 PM	#19
luciddreamer Member How Do You Identify?: in the middle Preferred Pronoun?: she,her Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Guelph,Ontario Posts: 268 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 215 Thanked 139 Times in 84 Posts Rep Power: 31	I am not one for labels either...I am "just me"...lol I love my t-shirts,tank tops and jeans...but I also loveeee my lacy bras, thongs,tight fitting cleavage showing tops and a equally nice fitting pair of jeans with matching belt and shoes...lmao As long as you are happy and comfortable I say !!!