The Re-Definition of the Modern Butch

[dreadgeek]

Originally Posted by T4Texas

Being butch has been a mainstay of life for me. It gave me self confidence, independence and a sense of self worth that I feel nothing else could have.

This resonated with me powerfully. Embracing my butch identity made me sane. It allowed me to hold my head up high. To become the woman that my wife describes as a 'force of nature' (which is, in my strange mind, one of the highest compliments that can be paid to any human being). What's more, it helped me embrace and become proud of two other core components of my identity *not* related to my orientation--being a black woman and being a geek.

Although it's not commonly acknowledged, there is a standard of beauty in Western society that no black woman can meet. That standard of beauty that every girl who has ever seen Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty (or any other Disney movie for that matter) or played with a Barbie doll knows all to well. Her skin is pale, her hair is blonde or, if brunette, long and flowing. Her eyes are blue and her lips are thin. No black woman can approximate this standard. Being butch gave me a *different* standard of beauty, one that need not hinge upon the aforementioned characteristics and so, in embracing my butchness, I too could feel attractive/handsome/beautiful/sexy/desirable. Being butch allowed me to embrace perhaps the most obvious distinction of my personality--my geekiness--for I am, always have been and will always be a geek. (I just hung up a poster showing the entire electromagnetic frequency spectrum in my home office) Being a butch gave me a context for that to be okay.

Perhaps something else could have done that for me, but I cannot for the life of me imagine what that would have been or would look like. It is why I treasure my butch identity and love my butch brothers and sisters.

If any of you reading this are older butches (e.g. came out in the 60's and 70's) thank you. I owe you a debt of gratitude I will never live long enough to repay because you blazed a trail that I found in my twenties and followed into a life of happiness, peace and self-acceptance I could never have imagined in my teens. Twenty years after I came out, I am not just the woman I imagined I could be--because I could not have imagined that I would be this woman, my vision was not that expansive.

Cheers
Aj