Labels

little man · 11-09-2009, 03:27 PM

when traveling in the world outside queer culture, labels don't really apply so much, do they?

personally, i'm fond of being called mister. i just like it. i gots a ton of labels, not any of them indicative of my sexual proclivities. i think w/in queer culture, it's used mostly as a marker for who's fair game for what. again, with polarities and binaries, eh?

some people in this world cannot find the box, let alone the outside of it. they need labels, billboards and some hand-holding. the key is that you're cool with who you are. anyone who isn't, probably isn't worth the time.

D-Money · 11-09-2009, 03:43 PM

i am unnaturally fond of Flavor Blast Goldfish crackers ... label me for that

Words · 11-09-2009, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D-Money

i am unnaturally fond of Flavor Blast Goldfish crackers ... label me for that

Do they make you fart?

If they don't, then you're obviously a femme because everyone knows that femmes don't fart.

Seriously.

Words

D-Money · 11-09-2009, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Words

Do they make you fart?

If they don't, then you're obviously a femme because everyone knows that femmes don't fart.

Seriously.

Words

hhahahahahahahahaaha!! NO!! and NO, missy!!

D-Money · 11-09-2009, 04:08 PM

okay, back to serious ...

for years, claiming 'femme' was very much a part of who i thought i was.

on other butch/femme sites (i don't feel the need to specify) i was that bitch who grilled non-label-lovers who came to the site claiming they didn't label themselves. "this site is for butches and femmes! if you don't identify, wtf are you doing here?! go find your own site, you ... you LESBIAN!" i didn't even realize my own need at the time to label them ... or even that i was doing it.

i was so wrapped up in how important my own label was to me that i didn't even listen to where they might have been coming from- i was blind to everything but what i perceived to be an attack on my own labeling of myself.

in light of the course of my own journey in recent years, i can see myself on the other side of that controversy. i probably deserve it ... (i really was a bitch)

Words · 11-09-2009, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D-Money

okay, back to serious ...

for years, claiming 'femme' was very much a part of who i thought i was.

on other butch/femme sites (i don't feel the need to specify) i was that bitch who grilled non-label-lovers who came to the site claiming they didn't label themselves. "this site is for butches and femmes! if you don't identify, wtf are you doing here?! go find your own site, you ... you LESBIAN!" i didn't even realize my own need at the time to label them ... or even that i was doing it.

i was so wrapped up in how important my own label was to me that i didn't even listen to where they might have been coming from- i was blind to everything but what i perceived to be an attack on my own labeling of myself.

in light of the course of my own journey in recent years, i can see myself on the other side of that controversy. i probably deserve it ... (i really was a bitch)

I agree that in many cases, it's for our own benefit that we want/expect others to ID one way or another. I have to say though that one of the reasons I prefer to know how someone IDs is that I don't want to offend them by referring to them in a way that makes them uncomfortable and I would imagine that that's fairly common. So, in a way, it can be a no win situation. Ask them how they ID and make them feel pressured into IDing one way or another, or not ask them, and possibly insult them by assuming?

Make sense?

D-Money · 11-09-2009, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Words

I agree that in many cases, it's for our own benefit that we want/expect others to ID one way or another. I have to say though that one of the reasons I prefer to know how someone IDs is that I don't want to offend them by referring to them in a way that makes them uncomfortable and I would imagine that that's fairly common. So, in a way, it can be a no win situation. Ask them how they ID and make them feel pressured into IDing one way or another, or not ask them, and possibly insult them by assuming?

Make sense?

yes, it does make sense ... i can see what that might look like.

but i do think that the discomfort that may be caused by asking is likely to be less than the discomfort caused by labeling without asking.

little man · 11-09-2009, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Words

I agree that in many cases, it's for our own benefit that we want/expect others to ID one way or another. I have to say though that one of the reasons I prefer to know how someone IDs is that I don't want to offend them by referring to them in a way that makes them uncomfortable and I would imagine that that's fairly common. So, in a way, it can be a no win situation. Ask them how they ID and make them feel pressured into IDing one way or another, or not ask them, and possibly insult them by assuming?

Make sense?

perhaps best to ask for pronoun preference?

Words · 11-09-2009, 04:10 PM

Well, since you're eating crackers made of poor little goldfish then you're obviously not a vegetarian, which rules out the possibility of your being a lesbian, (because everyone knows that lesbians only eat hummus and tabouleh), so...I have to wonder....

Do you only eat goldfish crackers or do you sometimes eat other types of crackers as well (in which case, you must be bi-sexual because everyone knows that bisexuals are indecisive and lack the ability to choose one type of cracker and stick with it)?

Well?

Words

D-Money · 11-09-2009, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Words

Well, since you're eating crackers made of poor little goldfish then you're obviously not a vegetarian, which rules out the possibility of your being a lesbian, (because everyone knows that lesbians only eat hummus and tabouleh), so...I have to wonder....

Do you only eat goldfish crackers or do you sometimes eat other types of crackers as well (in which case, you must be bi-sexual because everyone knows that bisexuals are indecisive and lack the ability to choose one type of cracker and stick with it)?

Well?

Words

i'll eat them all *weg* ...

not because i'm indecisive ... but because i love them all!!

(you're use of stereotypes is cracking me up!)

little man · 11-09-2009, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D-Money

i'll eat them all *weg* ...

not because i'm indecisive ... but because i love them all!!

(you're use of stereotypes is cracking me up!)

so, you're saying you're an omnivore?

Mitmo01 · 11-09-2009, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Words

Do they make you fart?

If they don't, then you're obviously a femme because everyone knows that femmes don't fart.

Seriously.

Words

ahhahahahahaha lmfao that is hilarious the ones i know can blow louder than i can lol

Jett · 11-09-2009, 04:17 PM

...on one hand it's is useful to have something to say "in a nutshell this is what I am". Still I don't like the confining feel that comes with them, because whether you like it or not, people are going to use their lens and paint you with their interpretation of your label.

It use to bug the crap out of me... at this point in my life I really don't care as much... I am who I am and those who truly care will take the time to get to know me.

Darth Denkay · 11-12-2009, 10:43 PM

I feel similarly. I appreciate labels for a couple reasons. One, they give me a starting point. They don't map out the whole entity but I've got something to start with. Secondly, my identity allowed myself to find a community, to realize there is a name for someone like me. Butch doesn't box me in - it allows me to be free to be me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metropolis

...on one hand it's is useful to have something to say "in a nutshell this is what I am". Still I don't like the confining feel that comes with them, because whether you like it or not, people are going to use their lens and paint you with their interpretation of your label.

It use to bug the crap out of me... at this point in my life I really don't care as much... I am who I am and those who truly care will take the time to get to know me.

Diva · 11-12-2009, 11:07 PM

When I first came out, my friends were trying to set me up with one who later became my partner for 8 years.....but when she first saw me, she leaned over to our mutual friend and said, "She's not a lesbian, she's somebody's Mother!"

She got it half right. I like that label, too......

I have evolved since then..... <smile> Though I'm still using the Mom Label.

~Diva

D-Money · 11-13-2009, 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva

Though I'm still using the Mom Label.

yeah, i hear that one a lot, too ... on days when i'm really lucky!

Tommi · 11-13-2009, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva

When I first came out, my friends were trying to set me up with one who later became my partner for 8 years.....but when she first saw me, she leaned over to our mutual friend and said, "She's not a lesbian, she's somebody's Mother!"

She got it half right. I like that label, too......

I have evolved since then..... <smile> Though I'm still using the Mom Label.

~Diva

When I was foot loose and fancy free, I saw the Diva, and did not think of it in that manner.. Maybe Holy Mother of G....Phew..or whose the hot MAMA in town...well, just sayin...that Red Dress

yer lil Punkin

Diva · 11-14-2009, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tommi

When I was foot loose and fancy free, I saw the Diva, and did not think of it in that manner.. Maybe Holy Mother of G....Phew..or whose the hot MAMA in town...well, just sayin...that Red Dress

yer lil Punkin

What a lovely compliment! Thank You so much, precious Punkin Head!

~Diva (LOVIN' that graphic! I stole it! <giggle> )

Leigh · 11-14-2009, 01:58 AM

Well you know what they say right?

Labels are for soup cans

ZoeyJayne · 11-28-2009, 10:23 PM

I got sick of being told that I am this or that.. I just made it wicked easy on everyone i am a desbian... (desiree + lesbian=) I am not changing for anyone or explaining myself for anyone for that matter. Take me or leave me :P

11-09-2009, 03:27 PM	#1
little man Member How Do You Identify?: mister Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: hard to hold Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: where the road goes on forever and the party never ends Posts: 1,003 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 169 Thanked 1,535 Times in 437 Posts Rep Power: 13709165	depends on where you're at and who you're with when traveling in the world outside queer culture, labels don't really apply so much, do they? personally, i'm fond of being called mister. i just like it. i gots a ton of labels, not any of them indicative of my sexual proclivities. i think w/in queer culture, it's used mostly as a marker for who's fair game for what. again, with polarities and binaries, eh? some people in this world cannot find the box, let alone the outside of it. they need labels, billboards and some hand-holding. the key is that you're cool with who you are. anyone who isn't, probably isn't worth the time.

11-09-2009, 04:10 PM	#9
Words Member How Do You Identify?: Queer femme submissive Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: UK Posts: 969 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,449 Thanked 4,258 Times in 677 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Well, since you're eating crackers made of poor little goldfish then you're obviously not a vegetarian, which rules out the possibility of your being a lesbian, (because everyone knows that lesbians only eat hummus and tabouleh), so...I have to wonder.... Do you only eat goldfish crackers or do you sometimes eat other types of crackers as well (in which case, you must be bi-sexual because everyone knows that bisexuals are indecisive and lack the ability to choose one type of cracker and stick with it)? Well? Words Last edited by Words; 11-09-2009 at 04:12 PM. Reason: Oops, sorry, sorry your 'back to serious' post too late...

11-09-2009, 04:17 PM	#13
Jett Member How Do You Identify?: Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: she loves my shaggy hair Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination Posts: 1,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,054 Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Big love hate relationship with labels... ...on one hand it's is useful to have something to say "in a nutshell this is what I am". Still I don't like the confining feel that comes with them, because whether you like it or not, people are going to use their lens and paint you with their interpretation of your label. It use to bug the crap out of me... at this point in my life I really don't care as much... I am who I am and those who truly care will take the time to get to know me.

11-28-2009, 10:23 PM	#20
ZoeyJayne Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Desbian Preferred Pronoun?: Dez, me , it , her , who knows lol Relationship Status: Happily Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Lowell Ma/Manchester NH Posts: 52 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6 Thanked 90 Times in 32 Posts Rep Power: 1114155	I got sick of being told that I am this or that.. I just made it wicked easy on everyone i am a desbian... (desiree + lesbian=) I am not changing for anyone or explaining myself for anyone for that matter. Take me or leave me :P __________________

11-09-2009, 03:43 PM	#2
D-Money Member How Do You Identify?: i do what i want :) Relationship Status: well, i'm not banging my ex anymore, so that's good ;) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: at The Pink Taco. really ... it's called The Pink Taco ;) Posts: 126 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 86 Times in 34 Posts Rep Power: 48488	i am unnaturally fond of Flavor Blast Goldfish crackers ... label me for that

11-09-2009, 04:08 PM	#5
D-Money Member How Do You Identify?: i do what i want :) Relationship Status: well, i'm not banging my ex anymore, so that's good ;) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: at The Pink Taco. really ... it's called The Pink Taco ;) Posts: 126 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 86 Times in 34 Posts Rep Power: 48488	okay, back to serious ... for years, claiming 'femme' was very much a part of who i thought i was. on other butch/femme sites (i don't feel the need to specify) i was that bitch who grilled non-label-lovers who came to the site claiming they didn't label themselves. "this site is for butches and femmes! if you don't identify, wtf are you doing here?! go find your own site, you ... you LESBIAN!" i didn't even realize my own need at the time to label them ... or even that i was doing it. i was so wrapped up in how important my own label was to me that i didn't even listen to where they might have been coming from- i was blind to everything but what i perceived to be an attack on my own labeling of myself. in light of the course of my own journey in recent years, i can see myself on the other side of that controversy. i probably deserve it ... (i really was a bitch)

11-12-2009, 11:07 PM	#15
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,175 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	When I first came out, my friends were trying to set me up with one who later became my partner for 8 years.....but when she first saw me, she leaned over to our mutual friend and said, "She's not a lesbian, she's somebody's Mother!" She got it half right. I like that label, too...... I have evolved since then..... <smile> Though I'm still using the Mom Label. ~Diva

11-14-2009, 01:58 AM	#19
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Well you know what they say right? Labels are for soup cans