Auntie Diva's Story Time

[Diva]

It's ok, cousin GemmieLicious!
I have a new mailbox!!!

Of course, I can't find any screws the right size to go into the holes (don't go there, Missy Miss!) so in the morning, I MAY be standing in the driveway, holding the box......

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Diva

It's ok, cousin GemmieLicious!
I have a new mailbox!!!

Of course, I can't find any screws the right size to go into the holes (don't go there, Missy Miss!) so in the morning, I MAY be standing in the driveway, holding the box......

I can TOTALLY imagine you doing that!

Yanno, that's one way to make sure the mail guy actually stops at your house. Don't forget to flash some leg, Ryan says.

[Diva]

Originally Posted by Gemme

I can TOTALLY imagine you doing that!

Yanno, that's one way to make sure the mail guy actually stops at your house. Don't forget to flash some leg, Ryan says.

Tell cousin Toolboy we don't want the good postman to crash the truck......

We don't have a mailman smilie, do we?

[Diva]

Good afternoon, boys and girls!

It's time for another story from your Auntie Diva!


Today's story is about your Auntie Diva's Anit~Peach Cobbler Extravaganza....

And the reason it was an 'extravaganza' was because your cousin Pixie was there.....otherwise, it would have been just a regular ol' anti~peach cobbler....Ohhhhhh....Ahhhhhhh...I hear you all saying! It's true!


So. I'm making a simple dinner for your cousin Pixie and I one night....(your cousin Pixie is one of those Vegetanarians, ya know, so it was a challenge for your Auntie Diva, the carnivore....). I made the Vegetanerian Chili, boys and girls.....it actually turned out pretty good ok....and it was even better after I added my browned ground sirloin.

Where was I? Oh yes.....

So...la la la, boys and girls....I was going to make a special treat for your cousin Pixie.....your Auntie Diva's Mama's (that's right, your Gra'ma Sybil's) Peach Cobbler! Yum, boys and girls, YUM!

First....(are you taking notes?) you melt a stick of butter (where do you think Paula Deen got this idea from? Your Gra'ma Sybil, that's who!) in a Pyrex dish in the oven.....so of course, I did this.

While it melted, I made the batter....the usual things: flour, sugar, baking powder, milk.....

And then I went to get the peaches from the pantry......<opening door to pantry>

Your Auntie Diva does this......

There are no peaches.

What to do, what to do???? And I cannot waste these perfectly good ingredients.....so I started to think....if I haven't any peaches, whatever can I substitute? That can of pumpkin pie filling back there? Oh what manner of heinous fuckery would THAT be? No, no, no, boys and girls. Cream of mushroom soup?

Uh........no.

Then I had a brilliant idea.....Ameretto! Oh yes, boys and girls, I aimed to get your cousin Pixie tipsy on alcoholic cobbler! So I put about 1/2 of Ameretto in the batter.....ok, maybe it was a cup. Then I sprinkled some pecans in and some cinnamon and dumped the batter into the butter....sans peaches.....and put it in the oven to bake.

I must admit, boys and girls, that it did smell mighty fine. But the proof, as we all know, is in the pudding. Or rather ~ in this case ~ the Alcoholic Anti~Peach Cobbler.

I tasted first, after we consumed mass quantities of salad and chili and whole wheat rolls....just so your cousin Pixie wouldn't fall down drunk in a stupor. And I was rather surprised!

The top was all torched & glazed over...much like your creme brulee` ~ and the only thing that would have made it BETTER (your cousin Pixie and I had discussion about this) would have been a dollop (or 6) of Vanilla Bean Blue Bell on top.

And that, boys and girls, is the story of your Auntie Diva's Anti~Peach Cobbler.

Signed,

Your Auntie Diva, Screw~Up Chef to all the cousins...

[Pixie]

Originally Posted by Diva

Good afternoon, boys and girls!

It's time for another story from your Auntie Diva!


Today's story is about your Auntie Diva's Anit~Peach Cobbler Extravaganza....

And the reason it was an 'extravaganza' was because your cousin Pixie was there.....otherwise, it would have been just a regular ol' anti~peach cobbler....Ohhhhhh....Ahhhhhhh...I hear you all saying! It's true!


So. I'm making a simple dinner for your cousin Pixie and I one night....(your cousin Pixie is one of those Vegetanarians, ya know, so it was a challenge for your Auntie Diva, the carnivore....). I made the Vegetanerian Chili, boys and girls.....it actually turned out pretty good ok....and it was even better after I added my browned ground sirloin.

Where was I? Oh yes.....

So...la la la, boys and girls....I was going to make a special treat for your cousin Pixie.....your Auntie Diva's Mama's (that's right, your Gra'ma Sybil's) Peach Cobbler! Yum, boys and girls, YUM!

First....(are you taking notes?) you melt a stick of butter (where do you think Paula Deen got this idea from? Your Gra'ma Sybil, that's who!) in a Pyrex dish in the oven.....so of course, I did this.

While it melted, I made the batter....the usual things: flour, sugar, baking powder, milk.....

And then I went to get the peaches from the pantry......<opening door to pantry>

Your Auntie Diva does this......

There are no peaches.

What to do, what to do???? And I cannot waste these perfectly good ingredients.....so I started to think....if I haven't any peaches, whatever can I substitute? That can of pumpkin pie filling back there? Oh what manner of heinous fuckery would THAT be? No, no, no, boys and girls. Cream of mushroom soup?

Uh........no.

Then I had a brilliant idea.....Ameretto! Oh yes, boys and girls, I aimed to get your cousin Pixie tipsy on alcoholic cobbler! So I put about 1/2 of Ameretto in the batter.....ok, maybe it was a cup. Then I sprinkled some pecans in and some cinnamon and dumped the batter into the butter....sans peaches.....and put it in the oven to bake.

I must admit, boys and girls, that it did smell mighty fine. But the proof, as we all know, is in the pudding. Or rather ~ in this case ~ the Alcoholic Anti~Peach Cobbler.

I tasted first, after we consumed mass quantities of salad and chili and whole wheat rolls....just so your cousin Pixie wouldn't fall down drunk in a stupor. And I was rather surprised!

The top was all torched & glazed over...much like your creme brulee` ~ and the only thing that would have made it BETTER (your cousin Pixie and I had discussion about this) would have been a dollop (or 6) of Vanilla Bean Blue Bell on top.

And that, boys and girls, is the story of your Auntie Diva's Anti~Peach Cobbler.

Signed,

Your Auntie Diva, Screw~Up Chef to all the cousins...

It was fabulous Auntie Diva!!!! Don't forget the amazing cinnamon butterfly decoration You concocted on top!! It was the Icing on the, well...the ice cream on the..... it was great!!!

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Diva

Tell cousin Toolboy we don't want the good postman to crash the truck......

We don't have a mailman smilie, do we?

Not yet, but if you squinch really hard, a couple of them could work in a pinch.

Originally Posted by Diva

Good afternoon, boys and girls!

It's time for another story from your Auntie Diva!


Today's story is about your Auntie Diva's Anit~Peach Cobbler Extravaganza....

And the reason it was an 'extravaganza' was because your cousin Pixie was there.....otherwise, it would have been just a regular ol' anti~peach cobbler....Ohhhhhh....Ahhhhhhh...I hear you all saying! It's true!


So. I'm making a simple dinner for your cousin Pixie and I one night....(your cousin Pixie is one of those Vegetanarians, ya know, so it was a challenge for your Auntie Diva, the carnivore....). I made the Vegetanerian Chili, boys and girls.....it actually turned out pretty good ok....and it was even better after I added my browned ground sirloin.

Where was I? Oh yes.....

So...la la la, boys and girls....I was going to make a special treat for your cousin Pixie.....your Auntie Diva's Mama's (that's right, your Gra'ma Sybil's) Peach Cobbler! Yum, boys and girls, YUM!

First....(are you taking notes?) you melt a stick of butter (where do you think Paula Deen got this idea from? Your Gra'ma Sybil, that's who!) in a Pyrex dish in the oven.....so of course, I did this.

While it melted, I made the batter....the usual things: flour, sugar, baking powder, milk.....

And then I went to get the peaches from the pantry......<opening door to pantry>

Your Auntie Diva does this......

There are no peaches.

What to do, what to do???? And I cannot waste these perfectly good ingredients.....so I started to think....if I haven't any peaches, whatever can I substitute? That can of pumpkin pie filling back there? Oh what manner of heinous fuckery would THAT be? No, no, no, boys and girls. Cream of mushroom soup?

Uh........no.

Then I had a brilliant idea.....Ameretto! Oh yes, boys and girls, I aimed to get your cousin Pixie tipsy on alcoholic cobbler! So I put about 1/2 of Ameretto in the batter.....ok, maybe it was a cup. Then I sprinkled some pecans in and some cinnamon and dumped the batter into the butter....sans peaches.....and put it in the oven to bake.

I must admit, boys and girls, that it did smell mighty fine. But the proof, as we all know, is in the pudding. Or rather ~ in this case ~ the Alcoholic Anti~Peach Cobbler.

I tasted first, after we consumed mass quantities of salad and chili and whole wheat rolls....just so your cousin Pixie wouldn't fall down drunk in a stupor. And I was rather surprised!

The top was all torched & glazed over...much like your creme brulee` ~ and the only thing that would have made it BETTER (your cousin Pixie and I had discussion about this) would have been a dollop (or 6) of Vanilla Bean Blue Bell on top.

And that, boys and girls, is the story of your Auntie Diva's Anti~Peach Cobbler.

Signed,

Your Auntie Diva, Screw~Up Chef to all the cousins...

Heinous fuckery indeed. I'm glad you were able to prevail.

Mmmmmm....sirloin....

[morningstar55]

** getting comfy with my blankie and reading the stories**...
dozin off......... **yyawwwnnnnnnn** ...........
zzZZZzzZzzzzzzZZzzZZzzzzzzz

[Mr. Moon]

Originally Posted by Diva

The top was all torched & glazed over...

..

When I read this part....my first thought was..."Oh they were hammered ?"



hehehe
-Mr. Moon

[Diva]

Originally Posted by Mr. Moon

When I read this part....my first thought was..."Oh they were hammered ?"



hehehe
-Mr. Moon

That would be fried, Mr. Moon. It is a culinary household, after all....<giggle>

"Hammered" is for boys.

[Mr. Moon]

Sorry, out of "practice" on the conversation with Femmes ..I think...

Thanks for "straightening" me out....

so to speak.....

(everything seems to have such sexual undertones...maybe I should put the keyboard down!)

-Mr. Moon