Communication 101: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Just_G · 01-02-2011, 05:41 PM

I come from a very dysfunctional family where nobody talks about anything. Everyone always acts like everything is okay and never asks questions beyond the basic, "how ya doin'?" type of thing.

Because I have been around this my whole life, I didn't realize what a bad communicator I have been. I have been told that I don't ever give back any input and I never ask any questions when in the midst of a conversation. This has caused me problems in the last couple of relationships I have been in, and when they point it out I feel like I am being scolded...when in all actuality, I thought if I asked anything I would just be being nosey. I hate that I am not inquisitive...apparently some people think I just don't care, when I am actually listening; just not saying much.

When I type things out, I am a fantastic communicator, but in person, apparently I am lacking.

Does anyone know of any books that help with communication?

I read the link that Medusa posted, and I know that I am a passive communicator now. Talk about hitting the nail on the head! It's funny because I think I am so social and outgoing, but when it comes to sitting and holding a serious conversation, apparently, I am something completely different. I have been really frustrated with this lately, and know that this is taking it's toll on my relationships. I hate that I just "take" whatever someone has to say to/about me, and it ends up feeling like I am in trouble or "less than" because I am not the best at communicating.

I guess add this to my list of changes for 2011!

01-02-2011, 05:41 PM	#1
Just_G Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, Switch, Comedian...G...whichever. Preferred Pronoun?: He....with an e! Relationship Status: I'll take kinky & twisted for $200, Alex!! Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in the middle Posts: 2,281 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 874 Thanked 6,165 Times in 1,450 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I come from a very dysfunctional family where nobody talks about anything. Everyone always acts like everything is okay and never asks questions beyond the basic, "how ya doin'?" type of thing. Because I have been around this my whole life, I didn't realize what a bad communicator I have been. I have been told that I don't ever give back any input and I never ask any questions when in the midst of a conversation. This has caused me problems in the last couple of relationships I have been in, and when they point it out I feel like I am being scolded...when in all actuality, I thought if I asked anything I would just be being nosey. I hate that I am not inquisitive...apparently some people think I just don't care, when I am actually listening; just not saying much. When I type things out, I am a fantastic communicator, but in person, apparently I am lacking. Does anyone know of any books that help with communication? I read the link that Medusa posted, and I know that I am a passive communicator now. Talk about hitting the nail on the head! It's funny because I think I am so social and outgoing, but when it comes to sitting and holding a serious conversation, apparently, I am something completely different. I have been really frustrated with this lately, and know that this is taking it's toll on my relationships. I hate that I just "take" whatever someone has to say to/about me, and it ends up feeling like I am in trouble or "less than" because I am not the best at communicating. I guess add this to my list of changes for 2011! __________________ Happy are those who dream and are ready to pay the price to make them come true!