Randomly Posting Stuff Cause You Feel Like It - Page 284

BestButchBoy · 01-18-2011, 07:07 PM

One basket of bread will suffice. [But, you know I want more.]

justkim · 01-18-2011, 07:22 PM

I received this from my dad, not sure who the original author is but it is too funny not to share... Enjoy!

The Pastor's Ass

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and
it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that he entered it in the
race
again and it won again.

The local paper read:
PASTOR'S
ASS OUT FRONT..

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of
publicity that he ordered
the
Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day the local paper headline
read:

BISHOP
SCRATCHES
PASTOR'S
ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop so he
ordered the Pastor to get
rid
of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a
nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted
the following headline
the
next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun that she would have to
get rid of the donkey so
she
sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:

NUN
SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop so he
ordered the Nun to buy back
the
donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run
wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being
concerned about public opinion
can
bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your
life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and
you'll be a lot happier
and
live longer!

Have
a nice day!

Soon · 01-18-2011, 07:27 PM

Abigail Crabby · 01-18-2011, 07:39 PM

dixie · 01-18-2011, 09:34 PM

dixie · 01-18-2011, 09:41 PM

Jesse · 01-18-2011, 10:35 PM

Enchantress · 01-19-2011, 01:06 AM

I have a freckle on my right hand, on the palm under the thumb.
I've decided it's a defining point of character.

This is what happens when you can't sleep.

Jesse · 01-19-2011, 01:08 AM

I have one on my palm right below the pinky. I tend to think of it as my alien identification mark.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enchantress

I have a freckle on my right hand, on the palm under the thumb.
I've decided it's a defining point of character.

This is what happens when you can't sleep.

morningstar55 · 01-19-2011, 07:13 AM

i love kitchen nightmares
watching this , has made me soo soo more aware where and what im eating, cuz even the most popular places can have scarey things at them.. heh...

JustJo · 01-19-2011, 03:28 PM

Wow...I wouldn't have guessed that Sarah Palin read Sinclair Lewis...

Jet · 01-19-2011, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

Wow...I wouldn't have guessed that Sarah Palin read Sinclair Lewis...

I wouldn't have guessed that Sinclair Lewis wrote this. He wasn't alive in 1835. What...she fucked that up too?

JustJo · 01-19-2011, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jet

I wouldn't have guessed that Sinclair Lewis wrote this. He wasn't alive in 1835. What...she fucked that up too?

Guessing that's a typo, since he wrote "It Can't Happen Here" in 1935, not 1835.

And no....I don't think she did that....but she sure does like to wrap herself in messed up patriotism and even more messed up religion.

Blade · 01-19-2011, 08:13 PM

Have you noticed the moon tonight. WOW WOW WOW!!!!!

I went outside to let the dog out and it looked like all the lights on the property were on and working....it's beautiful

Abigail Crabby · 01-19-2011, 10:08 PM

Ryobi · 01-19-2011, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparkle

I am often amazed at my ability to procrastinate.

I could tell you a thing or two about procrastination. I don't feel like it now though, I'll tell you later.

Enchantress · 01-19-2011, 11:00 PM

Big pink slippers with monkey's on them are cute, but may cause a balance issue.

ravfem · 01-19-2011, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryobi

I could tell you a thing or two about procrastination. I don't feel like it now though, I'll tell you later.

You will always have the ability to make my eyes roll.....

i'm just sayin is all.

Gemme · 01-20-2011, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blade

Have you noticed the moon tonight. WOW WOW WOW!!!!!

I went outside to let the dog out and it looked like all the lights on the property were on and working....it's beautiful

I saw it all during my commute home and when I got home it was still high in the sky and a lovely creamsicle orange color. I went up the stairs, asked Ebon to come downstairs with me, waited for a moment for him to put his shoes on, went back downstairs and it was GONE.

Color me peeved.

It was sure pretty though.

Leigh · 01-20-2011, 04:09 PM

I missed seeing the moon - that sucks

01-18-2011, 07:22 PM	#5662
justkim Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Relationship Status: <3 myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 2,023 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,062 Thanked 6,799 Times in 1,553 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	The Pastor's Ass I received this from my dad, not sure who the original author is but it is too funny not to share... Enjoy! The Pastor's Ass The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer! Have a nice day!

01-18-2011, 07:27 PM	#5663
Soon Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: attached Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 6,896 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,046 Thanked 13,094 Times in 3,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	utter cuteness

01-18-2011, 07:39 PM	#5664
Abigail Crabby Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Princess Relationship Status: Single, but sociable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mount Airy, NC Posts: 4,226 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,554 Thanked 9,668 Times in 2,484 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	__________________ Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. Marcel Proust Turns whatever happens to you into a positive...

01-18-2011, 10:35 PM	#5667
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,783 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	__________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

01-19-2011, 07:13 AM	#5670
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,240 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	i love kitchen nightmares watching this , has made me soo soo more aware where and what im eating, cuz even the most popular places can have scarey things at them.. heh... __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.

01-18-2011, 07:07 PM	#5661
BestButchBoy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Male ID Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 3,925 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 406 Thanked 5,438 Times in 2,037 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	One basket of bread will suffice. [But, you know I want more.]

01-18-2011, 09:34 PM	#5665
dixie Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: I usually just poke it with a stick. Preferred Pronoun?: Bitch Relationship Status: Intertwined deeply Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: We're all a little mad here. Posts: 6,627 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,972 Thanked 21,383 Times in 4,808 Posts Rep Power: 21474858

01-18-2011, 09:41 PM	#5666
dixie Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: I usually just poke it with a stick. Preferred Pronoun?: Bitch Relationship Status: Intertwined deeply Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: We're all a little mad here. Posts: 6,627 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,972 Thanked 21,383 Times in 4,808 Posts Rep Power: 21474858

01-19-2011, 01:06 AM	#5668
Enchantress Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A complex confection. Preferred Pronoun?: Miss Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The land of milk and honey. Posts: 2,169 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 741 Thanked 3,420 Times in 1,200 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I have a freckle on my right hand, on the palm under the thumb. I've decided it's a defining point of character. This is what happens when you can't sleep.

01-19-2011, 03:28 PM	#5671
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,406 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Wow...I wouldn't have guessed that Sarah Palin read Sinclair Lewis... __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

01-19-2011, 08:13 PM	#5674
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,413 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Have you noticed the moon tonight. WOW WOW WOW!!!!! I went outside to let the dog out and it looked like all the lights on the property were on and working....it's beautiful __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

01-19-2011, 10:08 PM	#5675
Abigail Crabby Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Princess Relationship Status: Single, but sociable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mount Airy, NC Posts: 4,226 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,554 Thanked 9,668 Times in 2,484 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	__________________ Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. Marcel Proust Turns whatever happens to you into a positive...

01-19-2011, 11:00 PM	#5677
Enchantress Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A complex confection. Preferred Pronoun?: Miss Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The land of milk and honey. Posts: 2,169 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 741 Thanked 3,420 Times in 1,200 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Big pink slippers with monkey's on them are cute, but may cause a balance issue.

01-20-2011, 04:09 PM	#5680
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I missed seeing the moon - that sucks __________________ "When you fall off the wagon ... clutch the sides of it until you get a better grip!"