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11-28-2010, 05:35 AM
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#1 |
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Overheard
Please post funny, appalling, clever, or quotable things you've overheard! You can even overhear yourself.
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bête noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun: One that is particularly disliked or that is to be avoided.
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11-28-2010, 05:37 AM
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#2 |
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Overheard in Nick's car on Thursday morning.
(Driving by a sign that said "Ontario Grown Christmas Trees!") Nick: Where else would they be grown? Me: India. Nick: Really? Me: Yeah, Ontarians are super concerned about the outsourcing of our x-mas trees. Nick: REALLY? Me: No. Not really. Nick: .gif "Say What?")
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bête noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun: One that is particularly disliked or that is to be avoided.
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11-28-2010, 07:23 AM
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#3 |
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Practically Lives Here
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Hitched up 
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we actually have a *familyism* book going on here at the farm...
Things you hear when there are two femmes and one butch in the house .. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK, thats as bad as the noxema face" (poor Syr lol) "can I slide under you so I can brush my teeth* (two femmes sharing a bathroom) *Please may I slip this under there its very hot in my hand* (sass trying to handle a hot potato while Syr is making ginger tea) more to come!! 
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11-28-2010, 08:42 AM
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#4 |
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Yesterday afternoon I overheard this conversation between the two women working in the shop at Barber's Orchard, Waynesville, NC.
Woman #1: "You had a phone call while you were gone." Woman #2: "Who was it?" Woman #1: "Didn't say. Was a woman with a man voice." Woman #2: "A man voice?" Woman #1: "Yep." Woman #2: "Must have been Louise. She has a man voice." Woman #1: "You sure?" Woman #2: "Yeah. She has a real low man voice." |
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12-13-2010, 12:50 PM
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#5 |
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Brandy says:
http://www.decor4u.com/jewelry-tree-...e-pr-1006.html look what I'm buying! Bob says: that looks like something a hippie would buy Brandy says: nope It looks like someone who is trying to have a soothing earring removal experience would buy "oh, taking my earrings off is so relaxing now that I have this tree made out of recycled metal to hang them on!"
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bête noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun: One that is particularly disliked or that is to be avoided.
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12-13-2010, 01:00 PM
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#6 |
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When I was at the post office mailing some of the Holiday cards, there were two ladies were standing behind me. There were 3 associates working. Only two associates were handling outgoing packages. Both of the workers handling outgoing packages were just a chatting up a storm with their current customer.. so the two ladies behind me start talking quietly amoungst each other..
Lady 1: Shesh, they need to keep it down to business Lady 2: I know, this is getting crazy Finally one of the customers starts to leave, but is still talking Lady 1: oh!! you can do it.. go on by this time I am secretly cracking up laughing Lady 2: Next thing you know, she will have to go to lunch and we will be here another hour. Associate 1: (looks to associate 2 and 3) isn't it about time for her to go on her lunch.. its well after 12 o'clock. I had to hold my laugh in at this point! Associate 3: The line is to long right now. Associate 1: Next person in line please.. its me and I dump out a purse load of cards and packages!! |
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12-13-2010, 01:14 PM
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#7 |
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Corkey: that show american pickers is gonna have people on it from Erie
Me: can you please look it up and goosemark it for me Corkey: what Me: bookmark it, book mark it (really dvr it)
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 A year from now you will wish that you started today~Karen Lamb |
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12-13-2010, 02:12 PM
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#8 |
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Practically Lives Here
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I already mentioned in another thread, but....
Me: Did you like the cup o' noodles or was it as bad as you remembered? Organic: It was okay, once I spiced it up a bit. Me: What'd you use? Organic: Butter. Me: Butter's not a spice! It's lard.  Organic: Fine, then it's spicy lard. 
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12-13-2010, 02:51 PM
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#9 | |
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Quote:
Her you know what I mean Me
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"Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them".
~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee) |
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12-13-2010, 02:57 PM
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#10 |
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I was standing at a bus stop one day and two guys walk by. One of them said "Did you know cum is nutritious?" the other guy said in this awkward tone "Yep."
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The only thing I learned from the tooth fairy is that I can sell my body parts for money. |
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12-13-2010, 10:51 PM
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#11 |
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Tonight at work:
Coworker 1: Holy shit, would you listen to that wind? Coworker 2: I don't think it's the wind. Coworker 1: Then what is it? Coworker 2: Chainsaw? Me: Well that's fantastic. Not only do I have to wade through snowbanks on my way home but NOW I have to worry about a serial killer? Coworker 1: I can give you a ride home tonight. Coworker 2: Heroic!
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bête noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun: One that is particularly disliked or that is to be avoided.
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12-13-2010, 11:37 PM
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#12 | |
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Quote:
bite me
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12-13-2010, 11:39 PM
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#13 | |
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Quote:
Me: Lard and butter aren't the same thing Corkey: Lards not a spice either
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A year from now you will wish that you started today~Karen Lamb |
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12-13-2010, 11:40 PM
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#14 | |
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Quote:
__________________
"Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them".
~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee) |
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12-14-2010, 12:03 AM
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#15 |
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Also at work.
(A coworker is studying for an anatomy exam.) Female Coworker: Do you know where your epididymis is? Male Coworker: I really don't want to talk about my balls right now.
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bête noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun: One that is particularly disliked or that is to be avoided.
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12-14-2010, 12:37 AM
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#16 | |
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Practically Lives Here
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Quote:
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01-25-2011, 12:17 AM
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#17 |
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MILLION $$$ PUSSY
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Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles 
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We're sitting watching some show on Net Flix.. Some guy is talking affectionaly about a girl, I say:
S- oh, she must be his Ray of sunshine huh? G- yeah, you're mine S- as he says this I'm rubbing his head singing to him "on a cloudy day" then i'm like " I am?" G- Well no, you're more like a spot light.. S- you think so..... ?
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"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden   |
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01-25-2011, 12:34 AM
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#18 |
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Senior Member
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LOL
A man was watching television, switching back and forth between two channels; one being the fishing channel and the other an adult movie channel.
A short time later the husband's wife got tired of him switching the channel back and forth so she made a comment: "For crying out loud! Pick one already! You already know how to fish!"
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To forgive is to set the prisoner free, And then discover the prisoner was you. |
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01-30-2011, 01:50 PM
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#19 |
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MILLION $$$ PUSSY
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Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
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Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles
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We're all groovin' smokin' and chillin listening to some ol' tunes and "Jealous Guy" comes on.. The whistling part is coming so I can't whistle never have been able to comes on..
Me: making some screeching noise Grant: looks over his shoulder Son: Me: I am so jealous!! I can't whistle Son: lemme seeMe: *gurgle screech *Grant:   Me: looking at Grant all whiney now: I can't roll my fucking tongue either, everyone else can Grant: like how? Me: making odd faces, looking ridiculous Grant: Son: WTF? Me: See if you can, and at first he "can't" Son: "like this" and successfully his tongue looks like a lil taco Me: FUCK Grant: still nothing so I clap giddily cause I don't feel left out Son: "no like this" does it AGAIN successfully Grant: "Oh like this" and does it without a thought Me: "Fuck you" Grant: then laughsSon: laughs and keeps tongue rolled
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"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden Last edited by The_Lady_Snow; 01-30-2011 at 01:51 PM. Reason: boys |
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01-31-2011, 09:57 PM
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#20 | |
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Practically Lives Here
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Quote:
I'll try to remember not to whistle when I'm around you.
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Linear Mode
