Learning To Live Half-Alive?

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by lipstixgal

I think that's good advice~~ I am sorry you are hurting but you are better off with out her..

Thanks Gail, I hope you had a greaaaaaaaaaaaaat birthday with your friend at Temple.

[lipstixgal]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Thanks Gail, I hope you had a greaaaaaaaaaaaaat birthday with your friend at Temple.

Oh Thank you yes I did it was great!!

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

I know.

I just wish I didn't love her... believe me, I do. I have always loved her... and what's happening right now seems like a nightmare - completely unbelievable. Illogical and confusing

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by proximitywithoutintimacy

I know.

I just wish I didn't love her... believe me, I do. I have always loved her... and what's happening right now seems like a nightmare - completely unbelievable. Illogical and confusing

Sometimes we confuse co-depandancy with love, or lust with love. Love isn't supposed to hurt Prox, this person is obviously not right. Distance yourself from her it's the best thing.

[bigbutchmistie]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Sometimes we confuse co-depandancy with love, or lust with love. Love isn't supposed to hurt Prox, this person is obviously not right. Distance yourself from her it's the best thing.

Amen Snowy is right again...

[WhiteTigress]

Prox,

Follow the advise that Snowy and the others have given you, and until you can get in with a counselor, spend time with other friends around you. Don't close yourself in, and don't stay alone all the time.

I speak from experience. My friends made sure that I went with them to do things, and it helped me heal. If you have other single friends who aren't out cruising, those are the best to hang out with. Perhaps hanging out with just couples will compound how you are feeling.

If all else fails, turn to us here at the Planet for support. We'll be here for you.

WT

[rlin]

the Snow post is spot on...
of course we know its not easy... part of the healing process is the work that is put in to fix the fucked uppedness of it all...
your logical brain will kick in when the anger does... thats lots easier to deal with...
of course... i dont know for sure that i would listen to shit that I had to say about matters of the heart... just sayin...

[Oiler41]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

It hurts right now and for that I am sorry, I've seen you post that this person has drinking issues, and well she seems not very nice. Mourn her, then get yourself some therapy, spend time with friends, have a nice dinner out it's obvious this girl is no good for you.

Good Luck

Absolutely agree.

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Sometimes we confuse co-depandancy with love, or lust with love. Love isn't supposed to hurt Prox, this person is obviously not right. Distance yourself from her it's the best thing.

Again, absolutely agree.

Originally Posted by suebee

I agree with Snowy. But I know that it's hard when YOU didn't want the relationship to end, and you are probably still feeling that you love her. I'm sure your heart is speaking to you in a loud voice right about now, telling you that it's broken. You're hurting, and probably you feel that you'll stop hurting if only she would come back. Just make sure you give your head, and what it has to tell you equal time. I'm sure if you put everything together it will come up with different advice than your heart does. It's hard, it hurts, but you WILL get through it. You need support. You have it here. I hope you have friends who are there for you, but it really DOES help to talk to a professional. They are there for you, and you only. You don't have to worry about taking up their time or about them judging you. That's what they're there for.

I wish you the strength you'll need to do what you have to to get on with your life.

Hugs,

Sue

And agree yet again.

Right now, it does feel like your life is falling apart; however, given some time and likely some professional assistance, you WILL look back on this in a completely different light. Cry, scream, sleep and whatever else you must do to get through the initial shock of it is,,but most importantly, cut off communication with her for a while; likely several months. It is probably the hardest step but if this person cares for you at all, she will leave you be to get started healing and get on with your life. I wish you the best with this difficult journey.

Regards,

Glynn

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

I know for certain that it's not lust or co-dependency, but I appreciate your advice, all of you.

I know what I need to do. I guess my problem is trying to figure out how this happened, because... you don't throw away five years like that for someone you barely know. You just don't.

Thanks for the support...

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Oiler41

Absolutely agree.



Again, absolutely agree.



And agree yet again.

Right now, it does feel like your life is falling apart; however, given some time and likely some professional assistance, you WILL look back on this in a completely different light. Cry, scream, sleep and whatever else you must do to get through the initial shock of it is,,but most importantly, cut off communication with her for a while; likely several months. It is probably the hardest step but if this person cares for you at all, she will leave you be to get started healing and get on with your life. I wish you the best with this difficult journey.

Regards,

Glynn

Excellent advice. Take space and no contact. And if she cares for you when you ask her to not contact you, she will respect that request. If she doesn't, than she is more concerned with her own desires and not respecting what you say you need.

[girl_dee]

Take it as the Universe pushing your hand... alcoholics only have one real love. The booze will win everytime. Sorry it has to hurt so bad when this happens.