Making Peace with Exes

Gráinne · 02-06-2011, 12:56 AM

I'm very amicable with my childrens' father. I respect him deeply and he's a great guy. It's just that obviously, I wasn't able to love him in all ways that a woman loves a man.

Another "ex"-I say "ex", because we talked about a relationship and were intimate, but in the end decided that neither of us were in a good place to be in one. She and I are great friends to this day. There was no animosity, just lousy timing.

imperfect_cupcake · 02-07-2011, 08:47 PM

I've been good friends/friends or amicable/friend-ly rather than friends with many ex's.

I've also had an ex that even though she pulled some unbelievable crap, I still care about her and hope she's doing well - though I can't be around her cause she still pulls the occasional crazy-making insanity. She's mostly good but it affects not just me but about three other people and it's just not a thing I want people to have to cope with - I don't want to feed into it.*

some ex's, I'm hiya, how are ya even though I couldn't really care less but I'll be polite cause I can't be arsed to be arsed. If that makes sense. *

and there's probably about two that if they are in the vicinity I would leave or hope they self destructed on the spot. And I actually mean that. They are severely screwed up narcissistic oxygen sink holes that the planet would be better off without. Not only do I feel they treat even the air around them like servile shit, their personalities grate on me. Listening to them talk "ME ME ME oh and another thing about ME is my ME ME!! HA HA HA Aren't I just so ME!!" in the same site/room/event is really difficult unless they are very very far away from me and I don't have to have their winey loud seagul squeal harping away cawing for attention in the background. *

granted, I have a couple ex friends I feel like that about as well. They got on my nerves too much. now when I hear them at a dance/event/club it's like a dry steel wheel scraping against a bracket. mn. yeah. that's sexy. *ear plugs* -*

* notes that these people are not on this site. I have harvested people in person, you know.

Sweet_Amor_Taino · 02-07-2011, 09:24 PM

Time is the key,Time heals,Time allows a romantic intimate relationship evolve into a freindship. We should allow time to do its job.
My two cents.

Lynn · 02-07-2011, 09:54 PM

The most significant relationship I had, barring my present one, was my marriage to my former husband. We were together for 23 years, and now continue to co-parent our children. I'd hoped we would be friends. We said we would, for all the reasons mentioned above. But, it turns out that the resentments are too deep and neither one of us seems to find any compelling reasons to nurture a true friendship. We are cordial as we can muster for the sake of our kids, and our own sanity, but we aren't friends. I may have loved him for all those years, but I find that I don't like him very much and realize that I don't have much respect for him. Sometimes this disappoints me deeply.

I'm friends with some exes, not so much with others. Having a personal value to remain friends with an ex is not something I aspire to. If I can develop a true friendship, then that's great. But, if not, then it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes whatever brought us together in the first place isn't enough to sustain a friendship when things go sour.

Soft*Silver · 02-07-2011, 10:17 PM

after having said all of the above, I need to also state I keep a small straw and tiny darts in my make up bag in my purse.

I have excellent aim...

02-06-2011, 12:56 AM	#1
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,117 Thanked 7,386 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I'm very amicable with my childrens' father. I respect him deeply and he's a great guy. It's just that obviously, I wasn't able to love him in all ways that a woman loves a man. Another "ex"-I say "ex", because we talked about a relationship and were intimate, but in the end decided that neither of us were in a good place to be in one. She and I are great friends to this day. There was no animosity, just lousy timing. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

02-07-2011, 09:24 PM	#3
Sweet_Amor_Taino Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Gentleman Preferred Pronoun?: he/him Relationship Status: Exclusively dating, Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Austin Tx Posts: 538 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 388 Thanked 853 Times in 298 Posts Rep Power: 4397590	Time is the key,Time heals,Time allows a romantic intimate relationship evolve into a freindship. We should allow time to do its job. My two cents. __________________ When we are aware that each moment of each day and each step we take,is truly mystical and full of wonder,we will live our lives with greater thought and care, we will also respect and appreciate This moment.

02-07-2011, 09:54 PM	#4
Lynn Member How Do You Identify?: Unabashed Feminine Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Her, She Relationship Status: Married! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 689 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,499 Thanked 2,414 Times in 505 Posts Rep Power: 9668975	The most significant relationship I had, barring my present one, was my marriage to my former husband. We were together for 23 years, and now continue to co-parent our children. I'd hoped we would be friends. We said we would, for all the reasons mentioned above. But, it turns out that the resentments are too deep and neither one of us seems to find any compelling reasons to nurture a true friendship. We are cordial as we can muster for the sake of our kids, and our own sanity, but we aren't friends. I may have loved him for all those years, but I find that I don't like him very much and realize that I don't have much respect for him. Sometimes this disappoints me deeply. I'm friends with some exes, not so much with others. Having a personal value to remain friends with an ex is not something I aspire to. If I can develop a true friendship, then that's great. But, if not, then it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes whatever brought us together in the first place isn't enough to sustain a friendship when things go sour. __________________ In the flush of love's light we dare be brave And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free. Maya Angelou Wedding Photos: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?...1&l=22b092b98c

02-07-2011, 10:17 PM	#5
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,894 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	after having said all of the above, I need to also state I keep a small straw and tiny darts in my make up bag in my purse. I have excellent aim... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

02-07-2011, 08:47 PM	#2
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I've been good friends/friends or amicable/friend-ly rather than friends with many ex's. I've also had an ex that even though she pulled some unbelievable crap, I still care about her and hope she's doing well - though I can't be around her cause she still pulls the occasional crazy-making insanity. She's mostly good but it affects not just me but about three other people and it's just not a thing I want people to have to cope with - I don't want to feed into it.* some ex's, I'm hiya, how are ya even though I couldn't really care less but I'll be polite cause I can't be arsed to be arsed. If that makes sense. * and there's probably about two that if they are in the vicinity I would leave or hope they self destructed on the spot. And I actually mean that. They are severely screwed up narcissistic oxygen sink holes that the planet would be better off without. Not only do I feel they treat even the air around them like servile shit, their personalities grate on me. Listening to them talk "ME ME ME oh and another thing about ME is my ME ME!! HA HA HA Aren't I just so ME!!" in the same site/room/event is really difficult unless they are very very far away from me and I don't have to have their winey loud seagul squeal harping away cawing for attention in the background. * granted, I have a couple ex friends I feel like that about as well. They got on my nerves too much. now when I hear them at a dance/event/club it's like a dry steel wheel scraping against a bracket. mn. yeah. that's sexy. ear plugs -* * notes that these people are not on this site. I have harvested people in person, you know.