Pressure to "prove" yourself?

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by proximitywithoutintimacy

I always get nervous making new threads, but here goes...

... do you ever feel like your friends, or people you are around on a daily basis, are constantly pressuring you (whether they're aware of it or not) to "prove" yourself to be a lesbian? For example, I have male friends who basically say they wouldn't believe it unless they see it. A bit frustrating.

Another aspect of this, is... some of my closest friends say they believe I'm bisexual, because I've kissed a guy before. Which is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.

Thoughts?

I think your friends want to watch free soft porn, or at the very least, an R rated kiss. Did the fact that they are male and it's widely known that one of the ultimate dreams of many guys is to watch two women getting it on occur to you?

I'd have a mouthful to say to them, but then again, they're not my friends and I don't give a rat's ass about being nice to them.

[Jess]

I think there is a great deal of projection people do when they find out someone ( particularly someone they thought they "knew") turns out to be wired differently than they expect them to be.

The general disbelief often makes them question themselves or other folks close to them and they just can't fathom it. Often the questioning can be a good thing, but often it can go very wrong and they turn on you.

Then again, there are a lot of "spaghetti lesbians" around "straight until wet", so a lot of folks do just think it's a trend or something being experimented with.

For me, I choose my friends very carefully and I choose very few. I choose not to hang out with and/or invest time in folks who are so small minded as to not be able to see beyond their personal truths. My truth may be different. It does not make theirs wrong ( unless it's just plain wrong..lol). It does make me aware of where and with whom I wish to develop lasting friendships.

Good luck!

[Kobi]

See this is why we need lamentated
"I'm a lesbian" ID cards. Someone add
this to Medusa's list of things to create.

And what the heck is a spaghetti lesbian -
I'm Italian, clue me in.

Seriously tho, having to prove ones sexuality
is an odd request. As long as you know who
you are, it should suffice for those around you.

[kannon]

Originally Posted by Kobi

See this is why we need lamentated
"I'm a lesbian" ID cards. Someone add
this to Medusa's list of things to create.

Great idea!!!!! I'm gonna start making "official" lesbian ID cards. Rainbow included. Maybe throw in a little how to manual....

Seriously though, you don't fit the "look" so it's hard for some people to understand. They just can't quite grasp the concept and probably never will completely.

[diamondrose]

some people like to fit everything in a box. Personally, I like living outside the box. I am me, I am happy, and I am complete. It matters not, what you do in YOUR home or YOUR private life. Live for your personal happiness and for what makes you complete.

[Jaques]

Wear This...............http://

[Jess]

Originally Posted by Kobi

See this is why we need lamentated
"I'm a lesbian" ID cards. Someone add
this to Medusa's list of things to create.

And what the heck is a spaghetti lesbian -
I'm Italian, clue me in.

Seriously tho, having to prove ones sexuality
is an odd request. As long as you know who
you are, it should suffice for those around you.

Hey Kobi,
A "spahetti lesbian" is a new term I just heard that jokingly refers to the trendy experimental sexual tourism of lesbianism. Roughly, it means "straight until WET".
I can laugh at it and the irony of the person who made me aware of this phrase, as soon after she was calling someone a spaghetti lesbian, she slept with a guy telling her gf that she was away visiting her sick father. Made me wonder if that makes her a "Bovine hetero" "straight when horny" ??
It is yet another off the cuff slang term ( cause lord knows we don't have nearly enough labels) for primarily hetero women who have sex with women when drunk.