Sarcasm, Scathing Witticisms & Uninspiring Quotes

hippieflowergirl · 01-01-2010, 10:48 PM

he has all the virtues i dislike and none of the vices i admire

winston churchill

there's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation wont cure.

jack leonard

hippieflowergirl · 01-01-2010, 11:26 PM

be quiet now. your voice is giving me diarrhea.

my grandmother

evolveme · 01-02-2010, 01:10 PM

“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain

(the earlier "child of five" comment was Groucho Marx)

evolveme · 01-02-2010, 01:12 PM

“Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.”

“Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.”

“Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.”

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

- Mark Twain

evolveme · 01-02-2010, 01:23 PM

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” - Winston Churchill

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” - William Faulkner

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” - Ernest Hemingway

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” - Abraham Lincoln

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - Irvin S. Cobb

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker

“He has Van Gogh's ear for music.” - Billy Wilder

Bob · 01-02-2010, 01:26 PM

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man. Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.

Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.

The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.

Hudson · 01-02-2010, 01:30 PM

"I just want silence. Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more." - Justin's dad (shitmydadsays)

evolveme · 01-02-2010, 01:33 PM

“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”

- Oscar Levant

Diva · 01-02-2010, 07:21 PM

Sarcasm is the weed that spoils our gardens. ~Jeff Bridges

If I asked you to talk, I didn't mean to. ~ Glenda Casey

NJFemmie · 01-19-2010, 09:59 AM

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. Oscar Wilde

01-01-2010, 11:26 PM	#2
hippieflowergirl Member How Do You Identify?: ~ Preferred Pronoun?: ~ Relationship Status: ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ~ Posts: 424 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 461 Thanked 467 Times in 176 Posts Rep Power: 274206	please say the following in a thick russian accent be quiet now. your voice is giving me diarrhea. my grandmother

01-02-2010, 01:10 PM	#3
evolveme Member How Do You Identify?: honeysuckle venom Preferred Pronoun?: a pistol and a sugar cane Relationship Status: I promise to aid and abet Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in between poems where ceilings are floors and joe ghost floats achromatic toward day Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 229 Thanked 735 Times in 228 Posts Rep Power: 503698	“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain (the earlier "child of five" comment was Groucho Marx) __________________ Class, race, sexuality, gender and all other categories by which we categorize and dismiss each other need to be excavated from the inside. - Dorothy Allison

01-02-2010, 01:12 PM	#4
evolveme Member How Do You Identify?: honeysuckle venom Preferred Pronoun?: a pistol and a sugar cane Relationship Status: I promise to aid and abet Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in between poems where ceilings are floors and joe ghost floats achromatic toward day Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 229 Thanked 735 Times in 228 Posts Rep Power: 503698	“Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.” “Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.” “Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.” “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” - Mark Twain __________________ Class, race, sexuality, gender and all other categories by which we categorize and dismiss each other need to be excavated from the inside. - Dorothy Allison

01-02-2010, 01:23 PM	#5
evolveme Member How Do You Identify?: honeysuckle venom Preferred Pronoun?: a pistol and a sugar cane Relationship Status: I promise to aid and abet Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in between poems where ceilings are floors and joe ghost floats achromatic toward day Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 229 Thanked 735 Times in 228 Posts Rep Power: 503698	“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” - Winston Churchill “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” - William Faulkner “Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” - Ernest Hemingway “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” - Abraham Lincoln “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - Irvin S. Cobb “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker “He has Van Gogh's ear for music.” - Billy Wilder __________________ Class, race, sexuality, gender and all other categories by which we categorize and dismiss each other need to be excavated from the inside. - Dorothy Allison

01-02-2010, 01:26 PM	#6
Bob Member How Do You Identify?: Jackass. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In your mom. Posts: 144 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15 Thanked 288 Times in 92 Posts Rep Power: 29242	Winston Churchill - Sultan of Scathing Mr. Attlee is a very modest man. Indeed he has a lot to be modest about. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk. Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober. Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it. The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.

01-01-2010, 10:48 PM	#1
hippieflowergirl Member How Do You Identify?: ~ Preferred Pronoun?: ~ Relationship Status: ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ~ Posts: 424 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 461 Thanked 467 Times in 176 Posts Rep Power: 274206	he has all the virtues i dislike and none of the vices i admire winston churchill there's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation wont cure. jack leonard

01-02-2010, 01:30 PM	#7
Hudson Member How Do You Identify?: FTM Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Truth is stranger than fiction. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atlanta, Georgia Posts: 434 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 160 Thanked 574 Times in 210 Posts Rep Power: 365377	"I just want silence. Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more." - Justin's dad (shitmydadsays)

01-02-2010, 01:33 PM	#8
evolveme Member How Do You Identify?: honeysuckle venom Preferred Pronoun?: a pistol and a sugar cane Relationship Status: I promise to aid and abet Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in between poems where ceilings are floors and joe ghost floats achromatic toward day Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 229 Thanked 735 Times in 228 Posts Rep Power: 503698	“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.” - Oscar Levant __________________ Class, race, sexuality, gender and all other categories by which we categorize and dismiss each other need to be excavated from the inside. - Dorothy Allison

01-02-2010, 07:21 PM	#9
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	Sarcasm is the weed that spoils our gardens. ~Jeff Bridges If I asked you to talk, I didn't mean to. ~ Glenda Casey

01-19-2010, 09:59 AM	#10
NJFemmie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?: I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status: Still loving my Mare ;) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New Jersey Posts: 4,683 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,343 Thanked 11,419 Times in 2,976 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. Oscar Wilde __________________