Sarcasm, Scathing Witticisms & Uninspiring Quotes

amiyesiam · 01-03-2010, 01:36 AM

"You are literally to stupid to insult" from the movie Hangover

hippieflowergirl · 01-06-2010, 09:24 PM

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
Oscar Wilde

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
Thomas Brackett Reed

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”
Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
Paul Keating

“He had delusions of adequacy.”
Walter Kerr

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
Mae West

imperfect_cupcake · 01-13-2010, 04:21 PM

my ex boss, from jamaica (apparently a saying where she grew up):

"It's not my fault you're ugly/fat/skinny/stupid. Take that attitude out of my face."

"too post modern to care." - friend's description and disclaimer

"I am god and you are shit. now fuck off." - drunk on the 73 to dalston.

"quit verbally pissing on me, will you. Catheterise that stench. Jesus wept till you shut UP." - arsey remark from friend to another friend whilst playing pool as chatty gal wouldn't shut up while one person was taking a shot.

reply? "can't help it. your extreme pool moves are making my ureatha twitch. I think your groove is giving me cystitis."

Rook · 01-13-2010, 04:33 PM

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
frank zappa

Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.
ambrose bierce

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar
drew carey

What have you been reading, the Gospel According to St. Bastard?
eddie izzard

hippieflowergirl · 01-14-2010, 10:57 AM

some people are like phones: they like to be held, talked to, and touched often. but push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!

daisygrrl · 01-14-2010, 11:18 AM

Live or die, but don't poison everything.
--Anne Sexton

And, I have a good mind to memorize and store some of these for later use: <click>

hippieflowergirl · 01-18-2010, 04:08 PM

don't let your mind wander. it's to small to be outside by itself. (kathy griffin)

sweetie, you have your whole life to be a jerk. feel free to take a day off now and then. (me)

01-03-2010, 01:36 AM	#1
amiyesiam Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/they Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: pa Posts: 2,703 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,488 Thanked 10,135 Times in 2,161 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	"You are literally to stupid to insult" from the movie Hangover __________________ A year from now you will wish that you started today~Karen Lamb

01-13-2010, 04:33 PM	#4
Rook Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?: Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Columbus Posts: 2,280 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,227 Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced. frank zappa Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage. ambrose bierce Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar drew carey What have you been reading, the Gospel According to St. Bastard? eddie izzard __________________

01-14-2010, 11:18 AM	#6
daisygrrl Member How Do You Identify?: mouthy but adorable; kinky Gerbera Preferred Pronoun?: hey, cutie (or dudette) Relationship Status: xoxo Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: The South (Gooogia peach) Posts: 475 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,157 Thanked 524 Times in 223 Posts Rep Power: 1065211	Live or die, but don't poison everything. --Anne Sexton And, I have a good mind to memorize and store some of these for later use: <click> __________________ You can’t change that system by just getting your own rights, tinkering with the engine and leaving. You have to take on the whole machine. --Riki Anne Wilchins Hold on to the lessons, let go of the pain. --Leslie Feinberg

01-06-2010, 09:24 PM	#2
hippieflowergirl Member How Do You Identify?: ~ Preferred Pronoun?: ~ Relationship Status: ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ~ Posts: 424 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 461 Thanked 467 Times in 176 Posts Rep Power: 274207	"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” Oscar Wilde "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." Robert Redford "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." Thomas Brackett Reed “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” Samuel Johnson “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” Paul Keating “He had delusions of adequacy.” Walter Kerr “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” Mark Twain “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” Mae West

01-13-2010, 04:21 PM	#3
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,711 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	my ex boss, from jamaica (apparently a saying where she grew up): "It's not my fault you're ugly/fat/skinny/stupid. Take that attitude out of my face." "too post modern to care." - friend's description and disclaimer "I am god and you are shit. now fuck off." - drunk on the 73 to dalston. "quit verbally pissing on me, will you. Catheterise that stench. Jesus wept till you shut UP." - arsey remark from friend to another friend whilst playing pool as chatty gal wouldn't shut up while one person was taking a shot. reply? "can't help it. your extreme pool moves are making my ureatha twitch. I think your groove is giving me cystitis."

01-14-2010, 10:57 AM	#5
hippieflowergirl Member How Do You Identify?: ~ Preferred Pronoun?: ~ Relationship Status: ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ~ Posts: 424 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 461 Thanked 467 Times in 176 Posts Rep Power: 274207	some people are like phones: they like to be held, talked to, and touched often. but push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!

01-18-2010, 04:08 PM	#7
hippieflowergirl Member How Do You Identify?: ~ Preferred Pronoun?: ~ Relationship Status: ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ~ Posts: 424 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 461 Thanked 467 Times in 176 Posts Rep Power: 274207	don't let your mind wander. it's to small to be outside by itself. (kathy griffin) sweetie, you have your whole life to be a jerk. feel free to take a day off now and then. (me)