The Never-Ending Bathroom Debate

Linus · 03-11-2011, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

Ok, got it. Trans people are not the threat and rapists and child molesters are not going to change their ways based on any laws.

Yup. But at the same time, to suggest that behind every door is a rapist is a bit extreme (which is what the ads that ran in Florida and elsewhere suggested).

Medusa · 03-11-2011, 01:47 PM

I'm glad you mentioned this June. I actually had a conversation with someone a couple years back about the whole "male child" issue in restrooms, branching off from a larger conversation about Michigan Women's Fest and how male children have to stay in a completely different camp.

If I had a boy child? There is NO way I'd let him go in a public restroom alone in this day and age. I'd be terrified of something happening.

DomnNC · 03-11-2011, 01:59 PM

I'm with you June and Medusa. Any time my 9 yr old nephew is with me he goes in the ladies room as well. I don't give a flip what any woman in there thinks. There's too many whacko pedophiles out in the world today. If there's a place where it's just one stall in the mens room I'll let him go in there and I'll stand outside the door and wait on him.

Dutch Leonard · 09-22-2011, 05:47 AM

http://www.xtra.ca/public/Vancouver/...oom-10801.aspx

ruffryder · 09-22-2011, 03:58 PM

Linus, I say go for the men's room unless it's a small facility, and they watch your every move! However, you already brought it up to them. I wouldn't have. That sucks. I've used both rooms. Depends where I'm at and who's around. Many times than not however, I find I should just stick with the guys.

Here is an article where a 7 yr. old trans boy is denied the use of the boys restroom. http://www.ajc.com/news/georgia-scho...e-1180991.html

Just goes to show how ignorant people are, even when it comes to children.

*Anya* · 09-23-2011, 07:26 PM

The only time it bothered me to have an older male child 9-10, in the womens room was one time while sitting down, this kid kept sticking his face under my door to look at me. Not once but several times.

I asked him several times to please stop. I have no idea where his mom was or why she did not say anything.

When I took my 5 & 8 year old grandsons to the womens room for safety from potential pervs, we had an entire discussion about politely respecting the space of others with no heads under the doors.

AtLast · 03-11-2011, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by June

I did not let my son go to public bathrooms unattended until he was almost 10 years old, and then I stood outside the door and waited.

Up until then, I took him into the "Ladies" room with me. He was my child and I didn't care if it made people uncomfortable.

You were right on to do this. Other people can just deal with it!

BullDog · 03-11-2011, 01:55 PM

I seriously don't get why anyone would be bothered by a ten year boy being in a women's restroom.

Gayla · 03-11-2011, 01:55 PM

I understand how scary "different" can be. Whether it should or shouldn't be scary isn't the issue for me with this situation. If someone is uncomfortable by my presence, my first thought is not about educating them or asserting my rights, it's about defusing the situation to make them less frightened. I can usually do that with a smile, a nod and a simple, "Hello" while I make my way in or out or am washing my hands. It may take a second for it to register in their mind but once it does, I'd like to think it has a more positive affect, in the long run, than being confrontational.

I would much rather someone, in a restaurant for example, walk back to their table and maybe tell an amusing story about incorrectly thinking a man had walked into the ladies room rather than go back to their table all pissed off because someone berated them in the restroom when they were just confused and may have stared a moment longer than necessary.

03-11-2011, 01:47 PM	#2
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,686 Times in 7,831 Posts Rep Power: 10000025	I'm glad you mentioned this June. I actually had a conversation with someone a couple years back about the whole "male child" issue in restrooms, branching off from a larger conversation about Michigan Women's Fest and how male children have to stay in a completely different camp. If I had a boy child? There is NO way I'd let him go in a public restroom alone in this day and age. I'd be terrified of something happening. __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

09-22-2011, 05:47 AM	#4
Dutch Leonard Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Tournaments Won: 7 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: East of the Rockies Posts: 291 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,901 Thanked 389 Times in 120 Posts Rep Power: 4100778	From Ivan Coyote http://www.xtra.ca/public/Vancouver/...oom-10801.aspx

09-23-2011, 07:26 PM	#6
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,455 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	The only time it bothered me to have an older male child 9-10, in the womens room was one time while sitting down, this kid kept sticking his face under my door to look at me. Not once but several times. I asked him several times to please stop. I have no idea where his mom was or why she did not say anything. When I took my 5 & 8 year old grandsons to the womens room for safety from potential pervs, we had an entire discussion about politely respecting the space of others with no heads under the doors. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

03-11-2011, 01:55 PM	#8
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,655 Times in 4,463 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I seriously don't get why anyone would be bothered by a ten year boy being in a women's restroom. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

03-11-2011, 01:59 PM	#3
DomnNC Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Male Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Widow Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Permanently Banned 11/15/2011 Posts: 1,223 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,618 Thanked 2,582 Times in 837 Posts Rep Power: 0	I'm with you June and Medusa. Any time my 9 yr old nephew is with me he goes in the ladies room as well. I don't give a flip what any woman in there thinks. There's too many whacko pedophiles out in the world today. If there's a place where it's just one stall in the mens room I'll let him go in there and I'll stand outside the door and wait on him.

09-22-2011, 03:58 PM	#5
ruffryder Senior Member How Do You Identify?: FTM Preferred Pronoun?: guy ones Relationship Status: ... Join Date: May 2011 Location: chillin' in FL Posts: 3,690 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,951 Thanked 9,679 Times in 2,875 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Linus, I say go for the men's room unless it's a small facility, and they watch your every move! However, you already brought it up to them. I wouldn't have. That sucks. I've used both rooms. Depends where I'm at and who's around. Many times than not however, I find I should just stick with the guys. Here is an article where a 7 yr. old trans boy is denied the use of the boys restroom. http://www.ajc.com/news/georgia-scho...e-1180991.html Just goes to show how ignorant people are, even when it comes to children.

03-11-2011, 01:55 PM	#9
Gayla Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kinky Butch Top Preferred Pronoun?: I'm not picky Relationship Status: She makes me dance like a fool and forget how to breathe. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: SF CA Posts: 3,229 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 877 Thanked 7,077 Times in 1,966 Posts Rep Power: 0	I understand how scary "different" can be. Whether it should or shouldn't be scary isn't the issue for me with this situation. If someone is uncomfortable by my presence, my first thought is not about educating them or asserting my rights, it's about defusing the situation to make them less frightened. I can usually do that with a smile, a nod and a simple, "Hello" while I make my way in or out or am washing my hands. It may take a second for it to register in their mind but once it does, I'd like to think it has a more positive affect, in the long run, than being confrontational. I would much rather someone, in a restaurant for example, walk back to their table and maybe tell an amusing story about incorrectly thinking a man had walked into the ladies room rather than go back to their table all pissed off because someone berated them in the restroom when they were just confused and may have stared a moment longer than necessary.