Neurodiversity

[violaine]

hallo

i just finished a bunch of work for the committee i belong to [part of the humane society]. the last several days have been kind of trying in the sense of dealing with a totally inconceivable situation involving an animal [will spare details!] - coupled with the mind blowing fact that it was all utterly unnecessary, as i'd already offered intervention.

space was in order as i was trying to decompress - and so i mentioned to a friend what i was doing. a few hours later he contacted me - saying straightaway- "i know you asked for space, and you said you could not be upset by anything, but ......"

what followed from him was indeed terribly anxiety inducing. i could have avoided the call, but not the issue he delivered so, brink of meltdown happened although the actual MD was a few days later.

essentials for me to get back on track are [always] the main three: space, sleep, and schedule. maintaining the latter two help with more of a cush coping skills-wise, and of course, routine = a predictable route with less interference of stressful scenarios. not always realistic, however.

i know what you mean, urs- people often comment that i must only have "a little bit of autism", or that i seem "so normal", et c. i find the words insulting because they are based on assumptions of what is acceptable behaviour in their mind. very telling on their part, and not usually going to get a smile from me- which really doesn't go over famously with the individual another topic all together- whenever i have some rest !

hope you are all having a great new year!

belle
ox

[Ursy]

Originally Posted by violaine

i know what you mean, urs- people often comment that i must only have "a little bit of autism", or that i seem "so normal", et c. i find the words insulting because they are based on assumptions of what is acceptable behaviour in their mind. very telling on their part, and not usually going to get a smile from me- which really doesn't go over famously with the individual another topic all together- whenever i have some rest !

Lovely Belle! xx

It doesn't exactly encourage one to strive to appear "normal" in order to fit in, does it? Though I can, and do... it makes me so tired, I wonder if it's worth maintaining. I mean really, the bottom line is that we do it so that the average person isn't made to feel uncomfortable, right? Not that I resally want to make anyone feel uncomfortable but - why is it always me that has to end up paying for it?

[Lynn]

Wow. I came in here to read and learn. I have always felt that my daughter might be somewhere on the spectrum. She's now 22, pursuing a promising creative writing career, and doing well. I always thought she was a bit eccentric--there was a book I read, "The Out of Sync Child," that fit her perfectly. That book talks about neurological differences in children.

What is especially interesting is that I took that sensitivity test. I scored a 24. There were only one or two I could really say don't apply to me, but that's only because I have learned to overcome some social difficulties to become better in certain situations.

I need to learn more, but first I have to stop procrastinating and get to work!

Thanks for posting this thread!

[Jess]

Hmm.. I scored a 26.. the only thing that didn't apply was the movie question. I tend to like mystery and suspense and often they have a good deal of violence.

I'm not really getting the whole crux of the HSP issue. I will continue reading more about it. I think that yes, sometimes I am hindered in social settings because of feeling "overwhelmed".

How does this play out for other folks who may be HSP? Can it be debilitating? Genuinely interested. Thank you.

[amiyesiam]

Originally Posted by Jess

Hmm.. I scored a 26.. the only thing that didn't apply was the movie question. I tend to like mystery and suspense and often they have a good deal of violence.

I'm not really getting the whole crux of the HSP issue. I will continue reading more about it. I think that yes, sometimes I am hindered in social settings because of feeling "overwhelmed".

How does this play out for other folks who may be HSP? Can it be debilitating? Genuinely interested. Thank you.

HSP can outwardly look like Aspergers, especially in children. The S, sensitive doesn't necessarily mean that a person is sensitive like caring/nice sensitive. It is more about being very sensitive to stimulus that is coming in from the outside world through all 5 senses and how you process it.

HSP can be intoverts or extroverts

[Jess]

Thanks. I'll keep reading

[violaine]

[QUOTE=urs;30094]Lovely Belle! xx

It doesn't exactly encourage one to strive to appear "normal" in order to fit in, does it? Though I can, and do... it makes me so tired, I wonder if it's worth maintaining. I mean really, the bottom line is that we do it so that the average person isn't made to feel uncomfortable, right? Not that I resally want to make anyone feel uncomfortable but - why is it always me that has to end up paying for it?

major fatigue- agreed ! plus, i don't feel as if i "have" something "wrong" - i just am... differently wired...

interesting take on " are you neurotypical"? = scroll 3/4 way down page:

http://www.corante.com/brainwaves/ar...urotypical.php

taken from -

http://www.neurodiversity.com/main.html

[violaine]

page 69, Effort & Attention-

keith: "i like the physical contact, not in a definable sense. i just enjoy it. also, what touching offers is the chance to be close without needing to articulate it. surely not everything has to be spoken about and analysed to death. just a held hand or a spoon in the night says a lot..."


http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/book/9781843105404

[Bit]

Gryph and I ordered The Highly Sensitive Person and Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person (two different authors). I found them at Borders online--received an unexpected gift certificate at just the right time--and they just arrived.

These self tests are beginning to scare me; I just scored 30 out of 31 on the one in the beginning of Making Work Work... then I noticed it's one of those where you rate each question either zero, 5 or 10 points. Going that way, I scored 300 out of 310. The only question I didn't answer "high" for was the one about other people calling me "intense" but hey... if by every other measure I'm so high on the scale, why aren't people calling me intense? *wry look*

So I'm thinking that a HSP could be someone with Aspergers as well, but if the two coincide, it must make things so very difficult!

Ursy and Belle talked about the effort of fitting in, of not making the people around them uncomfortable. This is something that I struggle with also. Sometimes I wonder just how I made it this far; but then the next logical question, "and what would happen if I stopped trying so hard anyway?" reminds me that I learned the hard way that I have to fit in or people get pretty angry with me, and then they go away. Ooops. Not what I want at all.... but yes, sometimes I do wonder why all the effort has to be mine, and why other people can't make allowances for me sometimes.

One of the things I adore about Gryph is that he has never ever once chastised me for being "too sensitive" nor ever once said those hated words, "grow a thicker skin." Too much information comes in, yes, and it does sometimes cause emotional overloads or a need to hide from everyone and everything--but he cherishes me for the sensitivity anyway. We each try to give the other the space we need to cope with the world.

Anyhow, thank you Ami for telling us about the book. I think it'll help a lot, and I'm glad to understand why we all have so much in common.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I'm a Aspi, and I feel like a misfit.

[violaine]

do any of you get to spend time around other aspies? i know it's really a good time to me- just letting go of things-

hugs to you, andrew