Nurturing

[Rockinonahigh]

Ive all ways been the one to nuture others,this started at an early age and has gone on till now.I havent yet been able to let others take care of me,partly cause I have the iron horse mentality that im unbreakable.In reality I know its not as true as I would like but I hold on to it because it give in is to admit weekness and to be unable to do for myself,my need to be as independant as possable causes me to do more than I sould do wich is not all ways the good thing to do.Truth is im not shure how to let others nuture me with out loseing soime of me..if that makes any sence.I have lived in a world inwich there are two sets of rules,one set wich I do for others and another where I get the short end or nothing at all. Excerpt for my son,the apple didnt fall far from the tree with him,We do as much as we each will allow the other to do for the other.More later,need to think somemore.

[Blade]

Nurturing started very early in my life. I suppose it began with nurturing animals and when my sister came along and my parents working late, I began being her nurturer. I've been a nurturer for as long as I can remember and I always enjoy it.

I was nurtured as a child by a huge extended family and my parents, and watched them nurture each other. My parents still nurturer me in someways still. In my adult life I have found it difficult to accept nurturing. I find it hard to trust someone trying to nurture me, like I wonder why they want to, or do I look like I need nurturing, almost like it is a weakness in my eyes for me to be nurtured. I don't know why that is but I hope I figure it out.

[DapperButch]

I suck at nurturing myself.

I feel nurtured when someone cooks for me or takes me into account/thinks of me in small ways when I am not with them.

I just asked my gf how I nurture and she said emotional support and the "little things I do for her" and being "thoughtful".

I agree with you Nat. I think that nurturing can come more natural to some than others, but I also think that one can learn to nurture.

Interesting topic.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I grew up as a special needs kid. I was in special ed in the public school system in 1st grade for 1 year. Then my parents took me right out of it. Then I began failing in school, each grade. Teachers gave up on me. I am not ashamed of it at all because in my heart and soul I tried my best. Always. My bio-family is. So for me I would have to say that nurturing would be equal to unconditional love. My lifetime constant partner is...adversity, negativeness, very rarely is there a smile or a handshake. People have no idea of what I face on a daily basis.

It is only when I met my adopted family did I know this. I was given a gift of love. I learned what it was for someone to hand me $10 for a haircut, be invited to have a meal with them, celebrate a holiday. Even to have someone say that they wanted me to come with them to work. They were not embarressed by me, and my clumsyness, shyness, or awkwardness as some say. I just felt very invisible growing up in the family I had. I had to learn and re-learn life skills on my own.

In defining human-ness, I never realized how much reading and writing was so enormous. I still cannot grasp this concept. I feel sorry for those who are not able to speak - like kids who have some disorder, or are deaf, or some medical issue that stops/prevents them from interacting with others. Life is hard enough, but when you throw in these problems, it makes life very very hard. I just wish others would understand and have more patience.

[bigbutchmistie]

Not sure if I'm gonna.make sense however growing up there wasn't nurturing from.foster.home to foster home. Then I was adopted and it was the same basic story. As an adult I cannot imagine nurturing someone I care about. For me nurturing is about affection and taking care of someone weather its cooking for them holding them just being there for their emotional needs. And there is so much more and yes I believe you are born with the ability to nurture

And I love.a woman who is nurturing.

[little_ms_sunshyne]

Hmmm...this would be the third time I visit this thread and still am having trouble with what I want my response to be. So lets see if I can express my thoughts correctly...

I did not receive much nurturing growing up. My parents were young and still growing up themselves. Most of the affection I received was from my grandmother who moved away when I was very young. There is a significant age gap between my 3 younger siblings and myself. I knew from the moment that they were born that I NEVER wanted them to feel like I did. I wanted them to feel loved and secure in themselves. My learning to nurture began there. I cared for them by not only providing them with all those basic needs but always showing affection. Having a warm demeanor towards them and everything I do for them.

How does that translate into my relationship? I naturally fall into the "housewife" role because of this. I like making sure that hys needs are met whether that means cooking, physical and emotional affection, also taking on a somewhat submissive role. If hy is pleased then I am happy. In return, he is my "protector" and takes good care of me. He listens to my thoughts, encourages my dreams, always affectionate, and provides a great deal of comfort to my heart and my mind. I also believe that it is the little things that we do for eachother that make you feel nurtured.

There are so many ways that one can feel nurtured or nurture. I personally, enjoy nurturing myself through what I call "food for the brain". I love to read, am part of writing and literature circles, attend art openings, help with charities, give to my community, etc...etc.... I submerge myself in a culture rich environment. Knowledge and appreciation of the beauty around us is a big deal to me and I tend to pass this on to my students as well.

If this makes any sense...That is what nurturing is to me!

[Nat]

article How to Nurture Yourself and Be Your Own Mother

I'm looking for other articles, but wanted to post this one before I lost it.

[Ebon]

Originally Posted by June

Mostly, I like to be left alone when stuff is bugging me. I don't need or want a lot of cuddling or coddling, in fact, it makes me a little bit crazy.

I nurture others by cooking for them and being there. I probably need to work on my cuddling stuff. I am affectionate, I'm just not overt.

I sniff people and randomly touch their hair, does that count?

I'm not sure what to say about this. I don't do the sniffing thing but I am pretty much the same as June.

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by June

Mostly, I like to be left alone when stuff is bugging me. I don't need or want a lot of cuddling or coddling, in fact, it makes me a little bit crazy.

I nurture others by cooking for them and being there. I probably need to work on my cuddling stuff. I am affectionate, I'm just not overt.

I sniff people and randomly touch their hair, does that count?

I find it interesting that you use cuddling and coddling together. I think of them as very different things and don't really go together at all. Cuddling is affection. Coddling is supporting or indulging bad or unhealthy behavior. That's my understanding of the two concepts.