Jokes and things that made you laugh.

Tcountry · 04-05-2011, 11:35 PM

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,

'Wait just a moment!'
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said,

'Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'

The loyal wife replied, 'Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.'

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'

'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it.'

Tcountry · 04-05-2011, 11:39 PM

You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one...

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the
meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's
roommate, Jennifer, was.

Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian
and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than
met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must
be thinking, but I assure you! Jennifer and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, "Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver
gravy ladle.
You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be
sure."
So he sat down and wrote:
"Dear Mom:
I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm
not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact
remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Brian"

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that
read:

"Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Jennifer,! I'm not saying that
you "do not" sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if
Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy
ladle by now.
Love, Mom"

LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER!!

04-05-2011, 11:35 PM	#1
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.' And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him. Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, 'Wait just a moment!' She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said, 'Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.' The loyal wife replied, 'Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.' You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?' 'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it.' __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"

04-05-2011, 11:39 PM	#2
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one... Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you! Jennifer and I are just roommates." About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mom: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Brian" Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read: "Dear Son: I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Jennifer,! I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom" LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER!! __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"