what NOT to do in a relationship.......

[girl_dee]

Don't get into a relationship with someone who has an addiction (and in denial, unwilling to change or get help), you will never be a priority.

[tommyboy66]

Don't give your girls dog away..
when she's away..
and expect everything to be ok..
when she gets home..
from being away..

Tommyboy66

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

Don't get into a relationship with someone who has an addiction (and in denial, unwilling to change or get help), you will never be a priority.

Since addiction issues are widespread in our society, this comes up a lot. The co-dependency/enabling stuff can really kick in for some of us. You hit it on the head- the addiction is the priority unless someone is willing to deal with it.

I have certainly seen many folks deal with their addictions and be able to have good relationships- but it has to do with them being ready and yes, not in denial.

I can be a "fixer" and have learned to pay attention to this in myself- it has not served me well. I caqn't fix someone else- only me.

[Nat]

Don't forget to give and forgive.

Don't forget to pay attention and appreciate.

Don't forget - people come as-is.

[Sweet_Amor_Taino]

I will not repeat what others did to you I am me.

Do not be afraid of love when you feel its real and it might take you places you fear.

Do not ask yourself is this real becuase its to good to be, trust it and enjoy it.

Recognized the patterns of behavior that sabotage and destroy a possible beautiful romance/relationship that will bring you happiness.

Do not say its not going to work non of the others did... this one might be the one.

[Nat]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Since addiction issues are widespread in our society, this comes up a lot. The co-dependency/enabling stuff can really kick in for some of us. You hit it on the head- the addiction is the priority unless someone is willing to deal with it.

I have certainly seen many folks deal with their addictions and be able to have good relationships- but it has to do with them being ready and yes, not in denial.

I can be a "fixer" and have learned to pay attention to this in myself- it has not served me well. I caqn't fix someone else- only me.

I'm a cheese addict. It's a sad life. But thankfully I'm loved. Though I think she might be catching my cheese addiction. Mmmm feta.

[Starbuck]

Originally Posted by Nat

I'm a cheese addict. It's a sad life. But thankfully I'm loved. Though I think she might be catching my cheese addiction. Mmmm feta.

Hey I think cheese should be it's own food group!

[Starbuck]

Don't make me a yo-yo, meaning push me away then draw me back in with your loving, caring behavior. Make your mind up already!
If you decide we're no longer compatible, let me know! Don't just stop talking to me!
Don't take that which I've shared with you and spread rumors against me.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Since addiction issues are widespread in our society, this comes up a lot. The co-dependency/enabling stuff can really kick in for some of us. You hit it on the head- the addiction is the priority unless someone is willing to deal with it.

I have certainly seen many folks deal with their addictions and be able to have good relationships- but it has to do with them being ready and yes, not in denial.

I can be a "fixer" and have learned to pay attention to this in myself- it has not served me well. I caqn't fix someone else- only me.

THIS is what has got me in trouble way too many times. I want to "fix" people. Then when it doesn't work, and I have to walk away, I am told I am the deserter, leaving someone in their " time of need". (Always a crisis) Yah, well I "need" to be safe and sane. Watching someone you love self destruct is painful. I am willing to be patient, to hold someones hand to get help, but I can't force them to if they are not interested. If the addiction always comes before the partner, and it will, it won't work.

[girl_dee]

Don't believe you know someone by their online persona. You don't. Hiding ones icky stuff may not be intentional but it happens. Major deal breakers can be hiding behind the monitor.

[apretty]

debate me.

[apretty]

*or give me your dumb cold that you SAID was just allergies that lasted 4 days last week, now that i have time off i have caught your "allergies" and can't breathe or do much besides whimper a little and blow the random snot bubble... and post my inner most thoughts online.

*when you went to the gym this morning and i said i'd go with you and 'spot you' while i blew my nose and wore my fuzzy robe you didn't accept my sweet and sincere offer.

just, *you're doing it wrong!

[Rook]

-♦-If you plan to travel, take a break..Maybe visit friends....?
LET THE PERSON KNOW....
Don't just disappear for MONTHS, and show up expectin' cuddles, kisses and everything in its usual spot..
Yes, Love should be timeless, but then...after the first few months, u can't blame me if I start asking "wtf?!?!"

-♦-Don't expect mind-reading, I'm as good in said talent as you are when u see my obviously not-too-happy glance and u're clueless as to why.

-♦-If you kick, shove or sprawl out in your sleep(feeding me a sleepy foot somehow beyond my comprehension), don't be baffled when u see me sleeping in the spare room.

-♦-If I know I'm right, and I still "inherit" the Couch, please...
The next Morning?
Don't ask what was so fucking funny the previous night, after you slammed and locked the bedroom door. It's called TV, satellite and DVD options. Believe me, we Both suffer when I'm in the "doghouse"....But, you have books{and maybe a 'power tool'}, and I have late night "shows"{..maybe cinemax}.

-♦-If you wash dishes, or flush the Toilet, while I'm in the Shower...?
Don't come rushing, almost knocking the bathroom door down, scared shitless cuz I just let out a very rare high pitched painful Scream....

-♦-If you're "hearing"{as in Not-Deaf}, and this vital...
pay attention, pleez...
If you say "never mind", after your failed attempt at explaining something 3 times, we will have a problem.
I understand it's frustration galore for you, imagine My frustration in not having a clue.
Do not get pissed off when I'm rapidly "Signing" with a Deaf Femme {maybe boi} and they giggle, if you ask "what?" and I try to explain, and you're still clueless, welcome to my world...k?

-♦-You like Romantic Comedies, chick Flicks...
I like suspense, Horror {some gore} and Psych Thriller, let us not debate this, I'll sit thru Adam Sandler & Drew Barrymore when you sit through Matt Damon and Forest Whitaker.

-♦-Oh, and share the popcorn, pookie.

[namaste !!!!]

[Dreams]

when you look out on the horizon and see a tantrum coming in,every flippen day?..never a good sign..