What TO DO in a relationship.....

Soft*Silver · 04-14-2011, 08:07 PM

when you are really angry with me....so angry with me...walk over and touch my face lovingly...so I know that even thru the anger you love me...that even tho we are angry, the moment is just a moment and not a rock that shatters the mirror upon which we look at each other....

and I...I shall do the same for you....

socialjustice_fsu · 04-14-2011, 08:11 PM

Validate one another as human beings. Speak of each other's worth. It is the cornerstone of any healthy, loving, intact relationship.

citybutch · 04-14-2011, 08:19 PM

As my Mom and Dad said (completely separately from each other I might add)....

KNOW that where you ARE is EXACTLY where you WANT to BE.

If you BOTH have this mindset... the rest will follow... you will always find a way to figure it out during the hard times, the fun times, and the loving times... and the difficult things of life don't come between you when you are on that same page.

julieisafemme · 04-14-2011, 08:28 PM

Be gentle with the cloaca.

Always own your part.

Forgive and discuss.

Strappie · 04-14-2011, 08:34 PM

OMG..... now I know why I've been single for 5 years.
Really all is to clean out the dishwasher? Jesus I knew I paid that therapist too much. ..... lol

THANK YOU SCORP!!!!

Oiler41 · 04-14-2011, 09:22 PM

My Dear Brother Ebon read this for Pup and I at our wedding; seems to be a good fit for the thread:

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to.

And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return.

We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.

--Anne Morrow Lindberg

Just thought I would share that.

Glynn

girl_dee · 04-15-2011, 04:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strappie

OMG..... now I know why I've been single for 5 years.
Really all is to clean out the dishwasher? Jesus I knew I paid that therapist too much. ..... lol

THANK YOU SCORP!!!!

and you being housetrained and all ...hey thats a plus in my book!

AtLast · 04-15-2011, 03:21 PM

Remember that paying attention to the small things helps build a strong foundation for facing the big stuff together.

Taking a partner for granted is a fast track to splitting up.

Laugh together.... A LOT!!!

04-14-2011, 08:07 PM	#1
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,594 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,896 Times in 4,064 Posts Rep Power*: 21474858	when you are really angry with me....so angry with me...walk over and touch my face lovingly...so I know that even thru the anger you love me...that even tho we are angry, the moment is just a moment and not a rock that shatters the mirror upon which we look at each other.... and I...I shall do the same for you.... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

04-14-2011, 08:11 PM	#2
socialjustice_fsu Member How Do You Identify?: Feminine Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: It’s all good. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: The gulf waters are sapphire blue and the beach sand is white as snow. Posts: 607 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,866 Thanked 2,155 Times in 439 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	...Simply... Validate one another as human beings. Speak of each other's worth. It is the cornerstone of any healthy, loving, intact relationship. __________________ If you are going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill

04-14-2011, 08:19 PM	#3
citybutch Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I answer to "hey you" (either works for me!) Relationship Status: 19 years together- Very Married for 10 years Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: San Diego Posts: 557 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 835 Thanked 1,194 Times in 355 Posts Rep Power: 6434867	It's simple... As my Mom and Dad said (completely separately from each other I might add).... KNOW that where you ARE is EXACTLY where you WANT to BE. If you BOTH have this mindset... the rest will follow... you will always find a way to figure it out during the hard times, the fun times, and the loving times... and the difficult things of life don't come between you when you are on that same page. __________________ Take care of your body, take care of your health... You never know when the walls cave in and it all changes for good.

04-14-2011, 08:28 PM	#4
julieisafemme Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married to Greyson Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In the present Posts: 828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,156 Thanked 3,434 Times in 660 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Be gentle with the cloaca. Always own your part. Forgive and discuss.

04-14-2011, 08:34 PM	#5
Strappie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I know who I am... Doesn't matter Relationship Status: It's a new day.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mpls, MN Posts: 3,283 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,813 Thanked 4,945 Times in 1,350 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	OMG..... now I know why I've been single for 5 years. Really all is to clean out the dishwasher? Jesus I knew I paid that therapist too much. ..... lol THANK YOU SCORP!!!!

04-14-2011, 09:22 PM	#6
Oiler41 Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Happily Single! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nunya Posts: 1,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,355 Thanked 2,574 Times in 789 Posts Rep Power: 18276168	My Dear Brother Ebon read this for Pup and I at our wedding; seems to be a good fit for the thread: When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern. The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. --Anne Morrow Lindberg Just thought I would share that. Glynn

04-15-2011, 03:21 PM	#8
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Remember that paying attention to the small things helps build a strong foundation for facing the big stuff together. Taking a partner for granted is a fast track to splitting up. Laugh together.... A LOT!!!