Pride in a Small Town: A Musing on Visibility

Medusa · 04-18-2011, 09:11 AM

Those little things like wearing purple are so important, Belle! Even if it makes one Gay youth feel better, it's worth it.

I'm doing a little hand-holding session with the LGBT group at one of the colleges here later this week and our main topic will be how to comfort/offer visibility/offer safety to the youth out there who have nobody.

The CAR group here is also working on a youth space in Little Rock which looks to be amazing

princessbelle · 04-18-2011, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusa

Those little things like wearing purple are so important, Belle! Even if it makes one Gay youth feel better, it's worth it.

I'm doing a little hand-holding session with the LGBT group at one of the colleges here later this week and our main topic will be how to comfort/offer visibility/offer safety to the youth out there who have nobody.

The CAR group here is also working on a youth space in Little Rock which looks to be amazing

That is wonderful. I need to dig a little deeper and see if there isn't something at our college i could do and at least volunteer a day or two to lend an ear.

Please post some tips on what your meeting brings light to. I'm so eager to help. I just need some ideas....thanks again.

dykeumentary · 04-18-2011, 12:10 PM

Great thread!

AtLast · 04-18-2011, 01:48 PM

I so support this. I know that I would have preferred to live in more rural areas throughout my life and being queer was just easier in or very near major cities.

Random · 04-18-2011, 02:12 PM

Dusa,

Thank you for bumping up this thread.

Mitmo and I made a hard decision last month.

After the last health crisis with my family down missouri way.. (Little brother on life support, then mom crashing and being hospitalized in ANOTHER hospital due to her being a hard ass and NOT taking care of herself.) we made the call to move to missouri. Part of it is me being selfish, I don't want to miss the last couple years of my mom's life, and another part is unselfish... They need help... They won't ask for it, won't recognize it, but my parents need help.

I've never been partnered or even dating*gay* in a small town... I left about six months after I came out and moved to a large city. It sort of worries me a little.. I'm out and can't go back into the closet. How will that affect jobs and renting a house... Small worries, but not something I've had to think about before...

We will see and as mitmo says.. It's by an army base, we are NOT going to be the only queers around... But I'm a worrier by nature and change bothers me... so we will see...

Thank you for a lil glimps... Conway isn't that different from Waynesville....

Bit · 04-18-2011, 05:57 PM

Hey, Random, for what it's worth I've seen for myself that the more matter-of-fact a person can be about being gay, the better the people around her will accept it. It's much easier for me to be out and I get much less reaction here in the Small City Bible Belt than I did in metropolitan Phoenix. Partly that's a function of time--Ellen, Rosie, Melissa, and shows like Will And Grace have all changed attitudes all over the US--and partly that's because in Phoenix I felt like I had something to hide and people picked up on it.

My experience has been that if you have nothing to hide, if you're just who you are right out in the open, people might not like you, but they're pretty much likely to leave you alone and let you live your life.

I'm sorry for the reasons you're moving back--sounds like your family's going through a truly difficult time right now--but I sure do hope that you're pleasantly surprised and that everyone around you just takes it for granted that you have every right to be yourself.

Quintease · 04-26-2011, 07:19 AM

I came out in a small town. When I say small town, I mean small city with a small town mentality. I remember leaving the one gay bar to walk to the one gay club, worrying about being gay-bashed all the way.

I ran away from there as early as I could, which was quite late as I was scared and didn't want to leave my family.

The bf and I are now talking about going back, but it still scares me. What if it's still the same? What if the apparent growing acceptance of LGBTQ is just a sham. Do we really want to be stuck in a small town, far Far away from the big city we both really love? I miss my family though, I feel like I've been away for far too long.

04-18-2011, 09:11 AM	#1
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,692 Times in 7,831 Posts Rep Power: 10000026	Those little things like wearing purple are so important, Belle! Even if it makes one Gay youth feel better, it's worth it. I'm doing a little hand-holding session with the LGBT group at one of the colleges here later this week and our main topic will be how to comfort/offer visibility/offer safety to the youth out there who have nobody. The CAR group here is also working on a youth space in Little Rock which looks to be amazing __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

04-18-2011, 12:10 PM	#3
dykeumentary Member How Do You Identify?: butch dyke Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 449 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 341 Thanked 1,548 Times in 359 Posts Rep Power: 19160663	Great thread! __________________ The Origins of Butch & Femme (a retelling): https://youtu.be/U7VkXpZl4Mk Watch more of my funny butch/femme movies here: https://www.youtube.com/dykeumentary1

04-18-2011, 02:12 PM	#5
Random Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: back in the land of trees and snow Posts: 2,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,017 Thanked 5,327 Times in 1,378 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Dusa, Thank you for bumping up this thread. Mitmo and I made a hard decision last month. After the last health crisis with my family down missouri way.. (Little brother on life support, then mom crashing and being hospitalized in ANOTHER hospital due to her being a hard ass and NOT taking care of herself.) we made the call to move to missouri. Part of it is me being selfish, I don't want to miss the last couple years of my mom's life, and another part is unselfish... They need help... They won't ask for it, won't recognize it, but my parents need help. I've never been partnered or even datinggay in a small town... I left about six months after I came out and moved to a large city. It sort of worries me a little.. I'm out and can't go back into the closet. How will that affect jobs and renting a house... Small worries, but not something I've had to think about before... We will see and as mitmo says.. It's by an army base, we are NOT going to be the only queers around... But I'm a worrier by nature and change bothers me... so we will see... Thank you for a lil glimps... Conway isn't that different from Waynesville.... __________________ ~Volunteer~ "It gets in your blood"

04-26-2011, 07:19 AM	#7
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	I came out in a small town. When I say small town, I mean small city with a small town mentality. I remember leaving the one gay bar to walk to the one gay club, worrying about being gay-bashed all the way. I ran away from there as early as I could, which was quite late as I was scared and didn't want to leave my family. The bf and I are now talking about going back, but it still scares me. What if it's still the same? What if the apparent growing acceptance of LGBTQ is just a sham. Do we really want to be stuck in a small town, far Far away from the big city we both really love? I miss my family though, I feel like I've been away for far too long. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

04-18-2011, 01:48 PM	#4
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,828 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I so support this. I know that I would have preferred to live in more rural areas throughout my life and being queer was just easier in or very near major cities.

04-18-2011, 05:57 PM	#6
Bit Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme Relationship Status: married to Gryph Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 2,177 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,126 Thanked 3,770 Times in 1,264 Posts Rep Power: 10778870	Hey, Random, for what it's worth I've seen for myself that the more matter-of-fact a person can be about being gay, the better the people around her will accept it. It's much easier for me to be out and I get much less reaction here in the Small City Bible Belt than I did in metropolitan Phoenix. Partly that's a function of time--Ellen, Rosie, Melissa, and shows like Will And Grace have all changed attitudes all over the US--and partly that's because in Phoenix I felt like I had something to hide and people picked up on it. My experience has been that if you have nothing to hide, if you're just who you are right out in the open, people might not like you, but they're pretty much likely to leave you alone and let you live your life. I'm sorry for the reasons you're moving back--sounds like your family's going through a truly difficult time right now--but I sure do hope that you're pleasantly surprised and that everyone around you just takes it for granted that you have every right to be yourself.