Long Distance - How do you cope?

[Tommi]

Originally Posted by Julie

One really important (uber important) matter.

Keep your relationship private. You will find that many people meet in such forums as this or other online venues, such as dating sites, etc... Keep it private.

Very few people knew Dreamer and I even existed. We kept quiet about our relationship for close to a year - Only a few people knew and they kept it quiet. Thank you PEOPLE (you know who you are).

People TALK - People LOVE Drama and everybody has a fucking opinion. And for god sake, do not listen to YOUR FRIENDS. They Do NOT know what is best for you. Only you know what is best for you. When you are sobbing, because you miss that person, don't call your best friend expecting them to simply say, this to shall pass, because they do not really know. And do not listen to the friends who say - Are you crazy? You are setting yourself up for hurt! Honestly, I have seen outside people destroy even the strongest relationships, because they seem to think they know what's best for you. Talk to one another.

This is about TWO people - You and Her/Hym - If your friends cannot be supportive, then perhaps you need to reevaluate.

And most important - Do not bring your fights here (online). While your relationship is online, your relationship does not need to be.

Okay - I am done -- For Now!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and have lots of phone sex. Sometimes, it's all you get.

Kiss Kiss!
Julie

Yes & Yes again

Julie, you must have a golden hammer for the nails you just hit. You expressed it so well, and wrapped it all up in nice tight package, and put a ribbon on it. All I can say IMO is ~ it is fucking hard, and that is ALL I am saying.

[Silverseastar]

I hear ya Julie and I am SO not a drama queen that way. I'm okay with folks knowing we are into each other. Ironically we met irl, not a forum, but many of the folks who were there and instrumental in us meeting are HERE. So far I've only experienced a lot of support and I hope I've chosen my friends wisely in that respect.

But I'll take your wise words under advisement nonetheless.


L.

[Silverseastar]

PapaC that clarifies it and makes me feel more hopeful, thank you. You must be committed to her and the relationship and that is something special right there. The idea around shaking up the communication is an awesome one as well. Oh, and I forgot to wave across the water to you! I have dear friends in Sooke and a brother in Victoria.

Scorp that is an awesome story of risk and payoff. It gives a clear picture of the reality in all relationships really. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. But dang if we don't move towards seeing what is there out of fear we may lose out on something amazing. I'm willing to risk that hurt because so far walking away would feel incredibly wrong.

[Goo]

Ya'll are so on the nail about LDR's, being in one myself. I know it's hard as he** to deal with the loneliness that goes along with being in one. I usually try to see my Daddi at least every month or every other month. Right now it's going on 3 months, because of finances. But after my court date in early May, I'll be moving down there to be with her.

Must commend everyone who is in a LDR here, whether it be the next state over, or even across borders. It's a tough thing to do, but the heart wants who the heart wants.

[msW8ing]

Been in a couple LDR's myself. It's the bittersweet of the internet. Meeting all types of people from all walks of life and all over the world. Amazing and astounding to me. Such good advice from everyone. Being the pathetic romantic i am personally. We mailed or collected articles of clothing to sleep with so we had at least one anothers scents to drift off with. It got to be a fun game bartering for articles of one anothers. And it indeed made the phone sex much more personal to have Hys scent with me. Hy worked construction and I always wanted Hys sweaty work tees. (Yes i know i'm a sick puppy) lol But it helped alot. Just my two cents.

[Tcountry]

For the most part I agree with what has been said...
Stay connected however you can(txt, call, Skype, msg, pictures, videos, movie night, voice mail, etc etc). Even get creative with it...cards or 'snail mail' or surprise flowers/gifts...the things that show eachother that u are thinking about them.
Don't get so caught up in the ldr that u forget to do the things that made u happy before u met hym/her(job, family things, doing stuff with friends)...
It is super hard tho...especially after you have spent 'in person' time together...u know what it feels like to wake up together & some days you feel like you would give anything for one touch or kiss or whatever....
On the other hand you have an Awesome opportunity to talk & get to know everything about eachother without getting too "distracted" with the physical...have fun with it. Play 20 questions or the 'what if' game & be honest & learn the things about eachother that no one else knows.
When it is worth it....you'll do just about anything to make it work...but don't forget to just be yourself...

[Silverseastar]

Great advice TCountry, thank you! I think we have "talked" an average of 5-6 hours a day since we've been apart as we can message each other at our workplace. More time talking than many get to have in the same city.

MsW8ing, I can so relate to wanting her stuff with me. She has something of mine but I don't of hers. When I see her next month maybe I can "barter" for something.

CottonCandy- so lucky you can be with your Daddi soon!

We tried Skyping yesterday for the first time and at first it actually made my heart ache all the more that she was right there but not there if you know what I mean. Then after a while it became wonderful to hear her voice and see her facial expressions. I think I'm a convert!