"straight" women and Butches.

Apocalipstic · 05-09-2011, 02:20 PM

True!

I am a Lesbian, but I do think some men are attractive.

Quintease · 05-09-2011, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

True!

I am a Lesbian, but I do think some men are attractive.

Me too, particularly when I'm ovulating (tick, tock and all that..) They have to be very pretty to catch my eye however.

Merlin · 05-09-2011, 03:04 PM

Never had any sort of clock counting down internally.

sorry if anyone has been offended ..

I am a stubborn ass Aries .. Gob goes into gear and brain still asleep.

DomnNC · 05-09-2011, 03:27 PM

I truly find the dilemna over what one looks like to another quite humorous at times. Who the heck cares what you look like to anyone else, straight, queer, bi, trans, etcetcetc? Who cares? What ever happened in being secure enough in yourself to know what/who you are and to hell with what anyone else thinks? I personally don't give a heck what anyone comes to decide who/what I am by the way I look, I KNOW what I am, their opinion matters not, it doesn't concern me, they have nothing to do with my life. If they do have something to do with my life then they either accept me for who I am and who I say I am or they move the heck on, life is too short to worry over such trivial matters.

It's funny, my wife id'd as a soft butch before we got together, then we got together, then she realized that was not who she thought she was and she id'd as femme and changed her whole appearance (and not at my hedging either), then after we were together 6 months or so she came to me and told me she no longer id'd as a lesbian but as a "straight" woman in relation to who I am. That was her evolution, her chosen evolution. I loved her no matter how she id'd. We couldn't have cared less how anyone else saw us and pre-determined how we id'd. It simply isn't that important if you are secure in who you are and how you id, straight, queer, bi, trans, what have you. Just being the best you that you can be is the best revenge on society as a whole. Society doesn't define me, I do. So therefore I have no issue talking about straight, queer, trans, lesbian, etcetcetc.

But I know how you feel Merlin, lol, the lesbian scene around here totally ignore, reject me and I'm fine with that. When they come with their hand out I just laugh and go on.

Quintease · 05-09-2011, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DomnNC

I truly find the dilemna over what one looks like to another quite humorous at times. Who the heck cares what you look like to anyone else, straight, queer, bi, trans, etcetcetc? Who cares? What ever happened in being secure enough in yourself to know what/who you are and to hell with what anyone else thinks?

It's called invisibility, and actually we wouldn't care, except it sucks.

BullDog · 05-09-2011, 03:43 PM

It isn't discussing straight people that's a sore point, it's being constantly measured against them that is. Femmes do not want to be compared with straight women, many butches do not want to be compared with straight males. Femmes are frequently not taken seriously as lesbians and/or queers. There is a big invisibility factor at play and also there have been many discussions over the years where some butches seem to think straight women are the ultimate prize- which leads to a lot of sore feelings, particularly when you combine that with the invisibility issues.

Also, if you really want to know why straight people feel certain ways, I do think you need to ask them.

Welcome to the site Merlin, you seem like a nice person. We need to listen to you and understand you better and hopefully you will see some of the other points being raised here as well.

Martina · 05-09-2011, 04:04 PM

i was in a cafe in Pacifica a week or so ago and overheard three adult daughters talking to their mother about gay folks. Apparently they were comparing who they had gotten in contact with from the past via facebook. And one of them had turned out to be a dyke. The mom said she always knew that the girl would become a lesbian because of how she looked and went on to add that the girl's sister had always been the more attractive one.

The daughters did not take that on, but they began discussing the whole choice vs. born that way issue. The daughters all thought gay people "couldn't help it." They were trying to convice mom not to want to spit right after she said the word gay or lesbian. Mom was hilarious. She didn't care if it is a choice or if we are born gay. She thinks we are ugly and gross (we flaunt our sexuality), and even if we "can't help it," we are to be avoided because . . . well yuck.

The daughters were all middle aged. i don't think they lived a life any different from their mother's. One said she is a housewife. But attitudes have changed.

Anyway, part of the reason i tell this is that that's what happens to us -- those who pass. We get to hear some really fun stuff.

And while mainstream lesbians might ignore us or want us to behave more conventionally, i think they have our backs more than people like this mom, who i have no doubt would not raise her voice if the day ever came again when we were loaded onto trains. . . .

intrigue_in916 · 06-22-2011, 02:22 AM

:

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

It isn't discussing straight people that's a sore point, it's being constantly measured against them that is. Femmes do not want to be compared with straight women, many butches do not want to be compared with straight males. Femmes are frequently not taken seriously as lesbians and/or queers. There is a big invisibility factor at play and also there have been many discussions over the years where some butches seem to think straight women are the ultimate prize- which leads to a lot of sore feelings, particularly when you combine that with the invisibility issues.

Also, if you really want to know why straight people feel certain ways, I do think you need to ask them.

Welcome to the site Merlin, you seem like a nice person. We need to listen to you and understand you better and hopefully you will see some of the other points being raised here as well.

Im only invisible if I choose to be, I take myself seriously, when it counts most to me. People come to now this about me.
Im not an attention seeker, way to negative. I try not to invite negative in.Not saying that it doesnt happen. I've learned to show negative the way out. i dont feel that being a lesbian woman makes me a prize. im just me.

.

Apocalipstic · 05-09-2011, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quintease

Me too, particularly when I'm ovulating (tick, tock and all that..) They have to be very pretty to catch my eye however.

Very very very very very!

05-09-2011, 02:20 PM	#1
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,365 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	True! I am a Lesbian, but I do think some men are attractive. __________________

05-09-2011, 03:04 PM	#3
Merlin Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Knight in shining armour. Relationship Status: Spoken for Join Date: May 2011 Location: England Posts: 250 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 87 Thanked 547 Times in 170 Posts Rep Power: 6763778	Never had any sort of clock counting down internally. sorry if anyone has been offended .. I am a stubborn ass Aries .. Gob goes into gear and brain still asleep. __________________ https://youtu.be/IWvEXChflEE

05-09-2011, 03:43 PM	#6
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,693 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	It isn't discussing straight people that's a sore point, it's being constantly measured against them that is. Femmes do not want to be compared with straight women, many butches do not want to be compared with straight males. Femmes are frequently not taken seriously as lesbians and/or queers. There is a big invisibility factor at play and also there have been many discussions over the years where some butches seem to think straight women are the ultimate prize- which leads to a lot of sore feelings, particularly when you combine that with the invisibility issues. Also, if you really want to know why straight people feel certain ways, I do think you need to ask them. Welcome to the site Merlin, you seem like a nice person. We need to listen to you and understand you better and hopefully you will see some of the other points being raised here as well. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

05-09-2011, 03:27 PM	#4
DomnNC Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Male Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Widow Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Permanently Banned 11/15/2011 Posts: 1,223 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,618 Thanked 2,582 Times in 837 Posts Rep Power: 0	I truly find the dilemna over what one looks like to another quite humorous at times. Who the heck cares what you look like to anyone else, straight, queer, bi, trans, etcetcetc? Who cares? What ever happened in being secure enough in yourself to know what/who you are and to hell with what anyone else thinks? I personally don't give a heck what anyone comes to decide who/what I am by the way I look, I KNOW what I am, their opinion matters not, it doesn't concern me, they have nothing to do with my life. If they do have something to do with my life then they either accept me for who I am and who I say I am or they move the heck on, life is too short to worry over such trivial matters. It's funny, my wife id'd as a soft butch before we got together, then we got together, then she realized that was not who she thought she was and she id'd as femme and changed her whole appearance (and not at my hedging either), then after we were together 6 months or so she came to me and told me she no longer id'd as a lesbian but as a "straight" woman in relation to who I am. That was her evolution, her chosen evolution. I loved her no matter how she id'd. We couldn't have cared less how anyone else saw us and pre-determined how we id'd. It simply isn't that important if you are secure in who you are and how you id, straight, queer, bi, trans, what have you. Just being the best you that you can be is the best revenge on society as a whole. Society doesn't define me, I do. So therefore I have no issue talking about straight, queer, trans, lesbian, etcetcetc. But I know how you feel Merlin, lol, the lesbian scene around here totally ignore, reject me and I'm fine with that. When they come with their hand out I just laugh and go on.

05-09-2011, 04:04 PM	#7
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,291 Times in 4,167 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	i was in a cafe in Pacifica a week or so ago and overheard three adult daughters talking to their mother about gay folks. Apparently they were comparing who they had gotten in contact with from the past via facebook. And one of them had turned out to be a dyke. The mom said she always knew that the girl would become a lesbian because of how she looked and went on to add that the girl's sister had always been the more attractive one. The daughters did not take that on, but they began discussing the whole choice vs. born that way issue. The daughters all thought gay people "couldn't help it." They were trying to convice mom not to want to spit right after she said the word gay or lesbian. Mom was hilarious. She didn't care if it is a choice or if we are born gay. She thinks we are ugly and gross (we flaunt our sexuality), and even if we "can't help it," we are to be avoided because . . . well yuck. The daughters were all middle aged. i don't think they lived a life any different from their mother's. One said she is a housewife. But attitudes have changed. Anyway, part of the reason i tell this is that that's what happens to us -- those who pass. We get to hear some really fun stuff. And while mainstream lesbians might ignore us or want us to behave more conventionally, i think they have our backs more than people like this mom, who i have no doubt would not raise her voice if the day ever came again when we were loaded onto trains. . . .