Pressurised to transition.

Strappie · 05-13-2011, 08:18 PM

I know a fem whom use to use the trump card to piss a butch off or be hateful towards them buy using "your not ever going to be butch enough for a fem" I know it's made some question who they are. I also think that it does put pressure on some insecure butches as to who they are. I have never condoned this behavior. Nor will I allow it to happen in my presence!

It's harsh and so wrong!!

1PlayfulFemme · 05-13-2011, 08:52 PM

I think where pressure exists is very rarely in the verbal realm. It's not like someone calls every day saying "You need to transistion". I have certainly seen butch friends of mine feel pressured into identifying male because their friends did, or a femme wanted them to (regardless of whether that identity was mental or physically changing).

I have friends who i.d. male. Period. No one pressured them, no one could pressure them. I also have friends who aren't sure where their i.d. exists. (which only they can decide..when they are ready). I have friends who have completed the transformation, others who have just begun and still others who are happy just where they are.

For me, if you are feeling pressured to change your very identity, you need to look at the people/circumstances that are making you feel that way. If you feel like you should be a man, or that you ARE a man (on the inside - where it counts), that's one thing entirely. If you feel like you are a woman and you don't want to transistion, then don't. Identify as female.

Only you know what lies inside yourself. And if people really care about you, it doesn't matter if you are male i.d'ed, female i.d'ed, male, female, or somewhere in the middle. As long as you are happy - and secure in your own identity.

When you love and accept yourself fully, others opinions about you don't seem as important as they once did. You are the one that will have to live with any choice you make for whatever period of time in your life that choice affects you....so do what's right for your soul. Your happiness is bound to follow!!!

(Just my .02) *flips coin into the conversation*

05-13-2011, 08:52 PM	#2
1PlayfulFemme Member How Do You Identify?: An Unwitting Thread Derailer! Preferred Pronoun?: She, femme through and through Relationship Status: She is my soul. Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: In a lil sparkle of fairydust Posts: 1,026 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,890 Thanked 2,362 Times in 697 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I think where pressure exists is very rarely in the verbal realm. It's not like someone calls every day saying "You need to transistion". I have certainly seen butch friends of mine feel pressured into identifying male because their friends did, or a femme wanted them to (regardless of whether that identity was mental or physically changing). I have friends who i.d. male. Period. No one pressured them, no one could pressure them. I also have friends who aren't sure where their i.d. exists. (which only they can decide..when they are ready). I have friends who have completed the transformation, others who have just begun and still others who are happy just where they are. For me, if you are feeling pressured to change your very identity, you need to look at the people/circumstances that are making you feel that way. If you feel like you should be a man, or that you ARE a man (on the inside - where it counts), that's one thing entirely. If you feel like you are a woman and you don't want to transistion, then don't. Identify as female. Only you know what lies inside yourself. And if people really care about you, it doesn't matter if you are male i.d'ed, female i.d'ed, male, female, or somewhere in the middle. As long as you are happy - and secure in your own identity. When you love and accept yourself fully, others opinions about you don't seem as important as they once did. You are the one that will have to live with any choice you make for whatever period of time in your life that choice affects you....so do what's right for your soul. Your happiness is bound to follow!!! (Just my .02) flips coin into the conversation __________________ In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. Khalil Gibran Whatever you fear most has no power. It is your fear that holds the power. -Oprah Winfrey

05-13-2011, 08:18 PM	#1
Strappie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I know who I am... Doesn't matter Relationship Status: It's a new day.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mpls, MN Posts: 3,283 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,813 Thanked 4,945 Times in 1,350 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I know a fem whom use to use the trump card to piss a butch off or be hateful towards them buy using "your not ever going to be butch enough for a fem" I know it's made some question who they are. I also think that it does put pressure on some insecure butches as to who they are. I have never condoned this behavior. Nor will I allow it to happen in my presence! It's harsh and so wrong!!