Clothes do not Maketh the butch ....

[Lynn]

Originally Posted by Incubus

Really Merlin? I can't say I've ever heard that from any of the bf community I know here.

My partner, a butch, would say it. She'd say that butch could be *your* gender, but she doesn't count it as hers. Why is it necessary to speak for the entire "bf community"? The beauty of this site, for me, has been acceptance of each other, not defining one another. Conversely, I've been told by several in the broader b-f world (maybe on here or not?) that I am not a femme, I'm a lesbian, as if they can't both be part of my identity. People tell people what to be all the time, it seems, including when they declare that no one would say butch is not a gender. Why is that any less narrowing than saying it always is??

And, on topic, I don't think that clothing has to be limited by the person's gender identity, or other identities. But, doesn't it usually say something about how the person prefers to present themselves to the world? And, don't people usually want to be "gotten" and understood? I'm no less of a femme in jeans and a t-shirt, because who I am shows through the clothing. At the same time, unlike my partner, I buy all my clothing in the women's department. She enjoys her masculinity and likes to be identified with it. She'll be unlikely to ever wear a dress or high heels.