"Becoming Chaz"

Melissa · 05-16-2011, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

I'm trying to keep an open mind about Jen, but she is bugging me a bit.

(i.e. squealing while he is in hospital gown, "I've never seen you in a dress...you're in a mumu!" He had to tell her to be quiet.

I do think that many of Jenn's responses were inappropriate and there were a lot of cringe moments for me. On the other hand, she states she was drinking at this time so I think a lot of these comments and behaviors might be related to her drinking. I think we don't really have a good sense of who Jenn is because a lot of what she said and did was while under the influence. My first reaction was that I didn't like her. But by the end of the doc and the interview with Rosie I really did come to like her (like is such a vague word, but I don't know how to describe it). She said some things that resonated with me and made me think. She didn't come across as phony but as very real. But again this could be a product of good filmmakers and editors plus the drinking. But all in all I got a lot out of this documentary and I'm glad Jenn was included. This was a doc about Chaz's transition, but also his relationship, Jenn's responses, his mother's response and so on.

Melissa

Soon · 05-16-2011, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melissa

I do think that many of Jenn's responses were inappropriate and there were a lot of cringe moments for me. On the other hand, she states she was drinking at this time so I think a lot of these comments and behaviors might be related to her drinking. I think we don't really have a good sense of who Jenn is because a lot of what she said and did was while under the influence. My first reaction was that I didn't like her. But by the end of the doc and the interview with Rosie I really did come to like her (like is such a vague word, but I don't know how to describe it). She said some things that resonated with me and made me think. She didn't come across as phony but as very real. But again this could be a product of good filmmakers and editors plus the drinking. But all in all I got a lot out of this documentary and I'm glad Jenn was included. This was a doc about Chaz's transition, but also his relationship, Jenn's responses, his mother's response and so on.

Melissa

Good points, Melissa--ones that I hadn't thought about (re: the drinking) and, toward the end, she didn't irritate me as much. That post was first impressions about a half hour or forty five minutes into the doc.

I am VERY glad she was included. Very.

I have this feeling her and Chaz are in for rough times. I wish them the best.

T D · 06-05-2011, 12:16 AM

Just an observation, but Jen also got taken on this ride of Chaz's. He decided to transition and there she was on the roller coaster with him. Depending on her personality (which I honestly have no clue about from the documentary) this whole experience could have been a very overwhelming thing for her.

I also think it's difficult to make a documentary and choose every single word in such a way that people won't question things that are said and/or what they actually mean. I would not want to be in Chaz's shoes for anything!!

I also believe that Chaz's comments about his sex drive and the T was directed at Jen, and as I recall I think he said he wished she could feel what it's like (but maybe he said women in general). My interpretation of this comment is that it's a feeling like nothing he's ever experienced before and wishes that women (Jen) could experience it as well since he absolutely did not while he was a woman (and neither did I). Just my take on it. It really is something altogether new and different, and yes, exciting as well. Nothing wrong with that.

That's all... stepping away now.

Rockinonahigh · 06-06-2011, 02:09 PM

I have read nearly all the post hear,but the thing that has me wondering is,why Chaz was siting at a playstation for a year playing vidio games?I understand he was probly dealing with depresion at this point...but a whole year?I dont mean any disrespect buy any stretch of the imaganation about being in depression cause I have delt with it in my life so know its effects on anyone.Shurely with his opertunities to gert help or find something constructive to do to get past this.Being Cher's son there had to be many ways to get help or just " man up" as my son would call it.Dont get me wrong hear cause im not trying to say he didnt try it just loks like all he did was have a pity party for a while,I hear it was booze then the vidio games I herd something about maybe drugs at some point.Many of us who dont nearly have the resorces as Chaz manage to be part of life and deal with how we feel about how we build our lives as best we can.
I realise how hard it is to deal with disfunctional familes,I guarente you my family almost invented the word or shurely put it in the capitial letter bracket.
Im wrighting this thinking about all ive read hear and herd on tv shows lately.What im thinking is about so many of us who manage life with way less chanches to get where we are today but have made it anyway.Im shure I prolly pised off someone hear,again my applogies.Geting off my sope box.

Greyson · 06-06-2011, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

I have read nearly all the post hear,but the thing that has me wondering is,why Chaz was siting at a playstation for a year playing vidio games?I understand he was probly dealing with depresion at this point...but a whole year?I dont mean any disrespect buy any stretch of the imaganation about being in depression cause I have delt with it in my life so know its effects on anyone.Shurely with his opertunities to gert help or find something constructive to do to get past this.Being Cher's son there had to be many ways to get help or just " man up" as my son would call it.Dont get me wrong hear cause im not trying to say he didnt try it just loks like all he did was have a pity party for a while,I hear it was booze then the vidio games I herd something about maybe drugs at some point.Many of us who dont nearly have the resorces as Chaz manage to be part of life and deal with how we feel about how we build our lives as best we can.
I realise how hard it is to deal with disfunctional familes,I guarente you my family almost invented the word or shurely put it in the capitial letter bracket.
Im wrighting this thinking about all ive read hear and herd on tv shows lately.What im thinking is about so many of us who manage life with way less chanches to get where we are today but have made it anyway.Im shure I prolly pised off someone hear,again my applogies.Geting off my sope box.

Rockin, your post did not upset me. However, I can see how someone might spend a year in front of some sort of monitor zoning out. I also understand about some of us not having the option to forgetaboutit and must work to earn an income to survive.

Maybe if I was born into Chaz's situation of having more options, I may have been able to veg out, fall into my addictive patterns for extended periods of time. Money can buy a person things. I don't think it is a given because we may have money that we will know/have happiness.

DapperButch · 06-06-2011, 03:39 PM

I think it was actually two years the documentary said (I believe it was Jennifer who said this).

He would have been sober at this point, but sometimes the depth of depression can be so low that a person becomes immobilized. If the person has the monetary resources to "stay in that state", so to speak, it is even slower for them to move out of it b/c they do not have an external force pushing for the change.

Rockinonahigh · 06-06-2011, 04:10 PM

Greyson im glad we arent at odds with my post,I understand veging out ..I have my own devils with it but in a diffrent way,for years I denied that my weight gain was cause of meds only..truth is im a foodaholic it has taken me years to admitt it and to finaly deal with it,and I do 95% of the time now..but I do have my moments.When I have those moments I acknoledge them and go do something totaly away from food.
I just wish ppl who are haveing a problem and veging out could find better ways to adjust to and with life...so much time waisted, so much time that u cant get back.

T D · 06-06-2011, 08:45 PM

2 years worth of being depressed and "zoned out"...... totally been there, lived through every single second of it, and not for a moment of most of it did I think I would actually survive it. Depression is a devastating, crippling illness. People respond to it in different ways, just as they do to the available medications and treatments for it. Because someone is "zoned out" doesn't mean they're not trying to find their way out of it. I spent more than 2 years working my way through it and I honestly did not think I would ever make it. I spent most of that time with a hand held poker game in my hand, I couldn't go anywhere without it. I totally get the video game thing with the tv. BTW I was in therapy 3 times a week for most of that time. It can be a deeply dark place.

I'm just glad that Chaz is in a much better place now!

06-05-2011, 12:16 AM	#3
T D Member How Do You Identify?: Person of the trans variety Preferred Pronoun?: He, Sir, Bro, TD, Stevin Relationship Status: On occasion Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 1,165 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,428 Thanked 1,125 Times in 311 Posts Rep Power: 3570339	Just an observation, but Jen also got taken on this ride of Chaz's. He decided to transition and there she was on the roller coaster with him. Depending on her personality (which I honestly have no clue about from the documentary) this whole experience could have been a very overwhelming thing for her. I also think it's difficult to make a documentary and choose every single word in such a way that people won't question things that are said and/or what they actually mean. I would not want to be in Chaz's shoes for anything!! I also believe that Chaz's comments about his sex drive and the T was directed at Jen, and as I recall I think he said he wished she could feel what it's like (but maybe he said women in general). My interpretation of this comment is that it's a feeling like nothing he's ever experienced before and wishes that women (Jen) could experience it as well since he absolutely did not while he was a woman (and neither did I). Just my take on it. It really is something altogether new and different, and yes, exciting as well. Nothing wrong with that. That's all... stepping away now. __________________ “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

06-06-2011, 03:39 PM	#6
DapperButch Roadster Guy How Do You Identify?: FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Posts: 7,745 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,545 Thanked 26,811 Times in 5,772 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I think it was actually two years the documentary said (I believe it was Jennifer who said this). He would have been sober at this point, but sometimes the depth of depression can be so low that a person becomes immobilized. If the person has the monetary resources to "stay in that state", so to speak, it is even slower for them to move out of it b/c they do not have an external force pushing for the change. __________________ -Dapper Are you educated or indoctrinated?

06-06-2011, 08:45 PM	#8
T D Member How Do You Identify?: Person of the trans variety Preferred Pronoun?: He, Sir, Bro, TD, Stevin Relationship Status: On occasion Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 1,165 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,428 Thanked 1,125 Times in 311 Posts Rep Power: 3570339	2 years worth of being depressed and "zoned out"...... totally been there, lived through every single second of it, and not for a moment of most of it did I think I would actually survive it. Depression is a devastating, crippling illness. People respond to it in different ways, just as they do to the available medications and treatments for it. Because someone is "zoned out" doesn't mean they're not trying to find their way out of it. I spent more than 2 years working my way through it and I honestly did not think I would ever make it. I spent most of that time with a hand held poker game in my hand, I couldn't go anywhere without it. I totally get the video game thing with the tv. BTW I was in therapy 3 times a week for most of that time. It can be a deeply dark place. I'm just glad that Chaz is in a much better place now! __________________ “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Last edited by T D; 06-06-2011 at 08:48 PM.

06-06-2011, 02:09 PM	#4
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I have read nearly all the post hear,but the thing that has me wondering is,why Chaz was siting at a playstation for a year playing vidio games?I understand he was probly dealing with depresion at this point...but a whole year?I dont mean any disrespect buy any stretch of the imaganation about being in depression cause I have delt with it in my life so know its effects on anyone.Shurely with his opertunities to gert help or find something constructive to do to get past this.Being Cher's son there had to be many ways to get help or just " man up" as my son would call it.Dont get me wrong hear cause im not trying to say he didnt try it just loks like all he did was have a pity party for a while,I hear it was booze then the vidio games I herd something about maybe drugs at some point.Many of us who dont nearly have the resorces as Chaz manage to be part of life and deal with how we feel about how we build our lives as best we can. I realise how hard it is to deal with disfunctional familes,I guarente you my family almost invented the word or shurely put it in the capitial letter bracket. Im wrighting this thinking about all ive read hear and herd on tv shows lately.What im thinking is about so many of us who manage life with way less chanches to get where we are today but have made it anyway.Im shure I prolly pised off someone hear,again my applogies.Geting off my sope box.

06-06-2011, 04:10 PM	#7
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Greyson im glad we arent at odds with my post,I understand veging out ..I have my own devils with it but in a diffrent way,for years I denied that my weight gain was cause of meds only..truth is im a foodaholic it has taken me years to admitt it and to finaly deal with it,and I do 95% of the time now..but I do have my moments.When I have those moments I acknoledge them and go do something totaly away from food. I just wish ppl who are haveing a problem and veging out could find better ways to adjust to and with life...so much time waisted, so much time that u cant get back.