Neurodiversity

[Andrew, Jr.]

Violaine, I can relate to that quote by Ilah. Thank you for posting that.

[Bit]

That's a GREAT Bratboy story, Christie! Made me laugh pretty hard.

That quote you posted pretty much sums up how I feel, too, belle.

Soooo, I'm almost halfway through The Highly Sensitive Person. I hit a hard place, the part about going to school. I'm surprised that I got this far through the book without it pushing any buttons for me, since everything applies to me... guess that means I managed to forget most of my early childhood, which is probably a blessing.

It's real hard not to be mad at my mom right now, which is very uncomfortable since we're pretty close. *sigh* But hey, maybe having another way to understand what happened to me will help me to finally come to peace with it all. I mean seriously, how many times do I have to DO this work, anyway? I think this is the fifth or sixth time dealing with it all; there's always something more to deal with, sheesh. It's time to let it go for good and get on with my life.

[violaine]

there was a mystery for a long time as to something happening with departures, not all of them, but still, i was not quite able to put my finger on what it was. an awkwardness of some sort was there beyond abruptly leaving [no 20 minute lingering goodbyes for me- i'd rather just take off without saying a word sometimes], but a friend explained a recent interaction observed between me and someone saying our goodbyes. during the drive home, i mentioned that i sensed the person with whom i was talking wanted to hug me, but what happened? apparently, he tried to hug me several times- and i pulled completely away from the hugs and stepped back.



urs, i am so happy for your daughter-

[violaine]

do any of you have an awareness of overloaded in the act or does the realisation come only afterwards ?



i am asking because i know specific things that can get me to the point of overload or a potential MeltDown - but if i'm going through the motions of transitons/sensory issues, et c- i'm not sure i recognise the overload is happening until i'm on the other side of it.

how i might present to someone experiencing me in overload = short, frustrated, different tone, not quite as communicative or able to find the words, et c.

thank you!

[Bit]

{{{{{{{{{{{{belle}}}}}}}}}}}}

Both happen to me, love; I am slowly coming to understand when I am overloaded while it's still happening. The worst for me is when I am at a really big store with a LOT of noise, like a Home Depot with the forklifts backing up and beeping, those extra loud announcements they make, and the echoes of everything (including customer noise) off the hard surfaces; also in a Walmart, with lots of people making noise, kids crying or screaming... sometimes that happens to me in the regular grocery store, too, if kids are screaming and the muzak is playing and announcements are being made... *shudders*

I've noticed that fluorescent lights and concrete floors are also a bad combo for me.

BUT if I'm not in one of those places, I don't usually recognize that I'm overloaded until afterwards... and then I finds myself thinking, "well, duh! no wonder" and feeling kind of sheepish about not recognizing it while it was happening.

I stopped reading the hsp book, btw... she was talking a lot about social cues and responding appropriately and it's really valuable--I found myself wondering if it might be as valuable to someone who has Asperger's as to people who are highly sensitive because of the emphasis she puts on setting appropriate social boundaries and on responding appropriately; it's really gentle and full of information--but life itself suddenly got overwhelming to me and I put the book down. I have to finish it soon.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I have partial complex seizures. One of the things that set me off are lights. For example, going thru a long tunnel, fluoresence & strobe lights. That is why when going out to a nightclub are sometimes uncomfi for me. No amount of medicine can stop seizures or their intensity. I hate them with a passion.

Another thing I really try to avoid is large crowds and noises if possible. For example, I can handle going out every now and then, but not every weekend. I would have a total meltdown afterwards. I always feel on edge. Plus with civility that has gone down the tubes these days, I really feel defensive at times (Wal-Mart, Target, Home Depot, Sam's Club, and such). It is like I have to explain myself repeatedly to the same people. I am not sure of what words to use or what to say. I have tried and tried.

I no longer work because of my disorders. It has been a welcome relief. Now, I am focusing my attention on my furkids. They love unconditionally. I just wish people would do that.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I forgot to mention my Aspi symptoms. I hope this helps too.

I have a routine that I stick with. If that is changed or altered without my knowing, I get upset.

I go thru stages of collecting things. For example, I am still in my religious stage where I collect religious icons. When my older sister died, I received so many. It was overload. Rosie had to help me with this. It was just wayyy too much.

Then there is my obsession with the weather. I even have a chart for hurricanes. I focus in on just 1 thing of the weather. That is it. Anything else is boring to me.

The one thing I cannot stand is when someone refers to me as retard or asks me if I am schizophrenic. I am at a loss of what to say. I have ocd, and depression from being constantly frustrated. I am just not good with words. They tangle me up.

[amiyesiam]

Originally Posted by Bit

{{{{{{{{{{{{belle}}}}}}}}}}}}

Both happen to me, love; I am slowly coming to understand when I am overloaded while it's still happening. The worst for me is when I am at a really big store with a LOT of noise, like a Home Depot with the forklifts backing up and beeping, those extra loud announcements they make, and the echoes of everything (including customer noise) off the hard surfaces; also in a Walmart, with lots of people making noise, kids crying or screaming... sometimes that happens to me in the regular grocery store, too, if kids are screaming and the muzak is playing and announcements are being made... *shudders*

I've noticed that fluorescent lights and concrete floors are also a bad combo for me.

BUT if I'm not in one of those places, I don't usually recognize that I'm overloaded until afterwards... and then I finds myself thinking, "well, duh! no wonder" and feeling kind of sheepish about not recognizing it while it was happening.

I stopped reading the hsp book, btw... she was talking a lot about social cues and responding appropriately and it's really valuable--I found myself wondering if it might be as valuable to someone who has Asperger's as to people who are highly sensitive because of the emphasis she puts on setting appropriate social boundaries and on responding appropriately; it's really gentle and full of information--but life itself suddenly got overwhelming to me and I put the book down. I have to finish it soon.

Oh how I relate. Walmart is painful. The lights are bad bad bad. We usually go late at night when it is empty. Walmart is 1 mile away so we are lucky there. The grocery store has lower lights and is much better. In walmart I usually know and can feel myself reaching my breaking point.

At work I just try to go find something to do (I work in a group home) in another room for a while. I usually need to veg when I get home. I want to focus and not deal with things for a while. Interestingly, 99.9% of the time the individuals I work with don't impact me negatively. Staff is a different story. LOL

And there are the times I reach my breaking point when I don't know it is coming. The tv can do that to me. Almost like a switch.

Sometimes I feel bad, like I can not handle things, yet I am most excellent at handling things, getting things done, doing the right thing, and being responsible.

I do not like to see to much of the news cause it will stress me out.

If I have to many projects I will want/need dedicate time to getting them caught up. Actually this goes for getting behind on anything.

[Bit]

Aaaaaack, I didn't see your post! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{Ami}}}}}}}}}}}}

Originally Posted by amiyesiam

Oh how I relate. Walmart is painful.

Yanno something, darlin, I don't think there could be a better way to describe it! By the time I come out of the store, my legs, my back and my head are usually all screaming at me... and my nerves are SO jangled. It's pain on every level for me.

Originally Posted by amiyesiam

I usually need to veg when I get home. I want to focus and not deal with things for a while.

Gryph and I both react this way also. Sometimes it's torture trying to get the groceries or laundry put away before I can sit down.... and when Gryph gets home from work, he sits at the computer. That's his time; it's how he decompresses.

Originally Posted by amiyesiam

And there are the times I reach my breaking point when I don't know it is coming. The tv can do that to me. Almost like a switch.

Oh! I never thought of that!

I find that television hypnotizes me, and I hate that, resist it with all my might--but it happens anyway. So I just simply don't watch tv. Thinking about it, though, yes, I have overloaded from a television on!

The only place I'm forced to endure it now is the laundromat---and I always overload at the laundromat. The lights flicker and whine, the ceiling fans whir and cast flickering shadows, the machines grind and whine and roll and beep, the television blares... ohhhhhhh it is torture just as painful as Walmart is!!

Originally Posted by amiyesiam

Sometimes I feel bad, like I can not handle things, yet I am most excellent at handling things, getting things done, doing the right thing, and being responsible.

I find that feeling goes along with overload and meltdown too, that "I am incompetent, I cannot even handle life" feeling.... not at all pleasant! And also, yanno, not ordinarily true.

Right now I'd better handle those errands. *smiling* Talk to everyone later.