Breaking up

hpychick · 05-21-2011, 11:24 AM

Thank you so very much for posting this from Pema - she is an amazing amazing human being!

She has touched my soul in many ways and her wisdom is timeless!

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

"We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy."

~Pema Chodron

Sweet_Amor_Taino · 05-21-2011, 06:02 PM

I have been in love and in relationships. I grieved differently each time, Because each one brought something special to me and our relatiosnhip. The relatiosnhip that brought me most pain was the one that betrayed me. I knew this women wanted someone to carry her financially she liked money and although I did my best as a husband to provided, it was not enough. After our break up I learned that she has met a women that has plenty of money.. she found a pot of Gold, I now know why she pushed our friendship away.

I feel protected by the universe, I also know that I will always be a giving,loving caring guy that is my innate nature but much wiser. I could see and feel who deserves my heart attentions and Money.

I am reading
HICH NHAT HANH
Anger

Pema Chodron
The places that Scare You.
I suggest these books

girl_dee · 05-21-2011, 07:57 PM

I honestly feel that the Universe takes care of us in ways we don't understand. Each relationship I have had, I feel, had a reason for it. It was never meant to be forever, I chose to leave each one, because the time with that person had ran it's course, even though I may have thought it should have lasted forever in the beginning.

Looking back I know there was a lesson, I got the lessons, thank you Universe for letting me come out with my sanity (questionable) and preparing me for the future.

Mister Bent · 05-22-2011, 09:00 AM

"stuck on the porn phase."

pajama · 05-22-2011, 09:25 AM

I think too, it's important to understand that the other person may not grieve for the same length as you do. Just because they have moved on to another relationship doesn't necessarilly mean they aren't grieving some of the loss of the relationship as well.

Someone mentioned earliler too that the person ending the relationship may not grieve, but I disagree. They still grieve the loss of what they thought they had, the future they were hoping to make, and the time they may have invested in this relationship before realizing that it wasn't quite the right one.

So yes we all grieve, and that's ok.

A

Merlin · 05-22-2011, 03:17 PM

^ agree totally.

Mister Bent · 05-23-2011, 05:33 PM

And you just have to get over it.

I'm not going to think about how for a long time it really seemed like it was going to work out.

Quintease · 08-27-2011, 05:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pajara2

I think too, it's important to understand that the other person may not grieve for the same length as you do. Just because they have moved on to another relationship doesn't necessarilly mean they aren't grieving some of the loss of the relationship as well.

Someone mentioned earliler too that the person ending the relationship may not grieve, but I disagree. They still grieve the loss of what they thought they had, the future they were hoping to make, and the time they may have invested in this relationship before realizing that it wasn't quite the right one.

So yes we all grieve, and that's ok.

A

Agree. I coped with a horrendous breakup once by jumping into a new relationship. I ended up grieving for 2 years! I knew I was better when I could finally look at my life and want something more for myself.

Glenn · 08-27-2011, 08:18 AM

I haven't seen hind nor hair of my wife since last Spring. She's probably camping in a corn field waiting for the Mother Ship If anyone meets a femme who claims to be the first gay woman Jesus, that's my wife... Tell her to come home please

No regrets..just love.

Guy · 08-27-2011, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pajara2

I think too, it's important to understand that the other person may not grieve for the same length as you do. Just because they have moved on to another relationship doesn't necessarilly mean they aren't grieving some of the loss of the relationship as well.

Someone mentioned earliler too that the person ending the relationship may not grieve, but I disagree. They still grieve the loss of what they thought they had, the future they were hoping to make, and the time they may have invested in this relationship before realizing that it wasn't quite the right one.

So yes we all grieve, and that's ok.

A

This is a great point. I also think that its important to remember that the relationship just doesn't go sour overnight and that the person ending the relationship may have been grieving the loss of their relationship for awhile, and the other just not caring enough to notice and taking the relationship for granted.

Apocalipstic · 08-27-2011, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

"stuck on the porn phase."

Right now alone seems way less stressful.

05-21-2011, 06:02 PM	#2
Sweet_Amor_Taino Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Gentleman Preferred Pronoun?: he/him Relationship Status: Exclusively dating, Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Austin Tx Posts: 538 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 388 Thanked 853 Times in 298 Posts Rep Power: 4397590	I have been in love and in relationships. I grieved differently each time, Because each one brought something special to me and our relatiosnhip. The relatiosnhip that brought me most pain was the one that betrayed me. I knew this women wanted someone to carry her financially she liked money and although I did my best as a husband to provided, it was not enough. After our break up I learned that she has met a women that has plenty of money.. she found a pot of Gold, I now know why she pushed our friendship away. I feel protected by the universe, I also know that I will always be a giving,loving caring guy that is my innate nature but much wiser. I could see and feel who deserves my heart attentions and Money. I am reading HICH NHAT HANH Anger Pema Chodron The places that Scare You. I suggest these books __________________ When we are aware that each moment of each day and each step we take,is truly mystical and full of wonder,we will live our lives with greater thought and care, we will also respect and appreciate This moment.

05-22-2011, 09:00 AM	#4
Mister Bent Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: . Posts: 2,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,151 Thanked 5,825 Times in 1,722 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Pretty much it's exactly like this. "stuck on the porn phase." __________________ Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken

05-22-2011, 03:17 PM	#6
Merlin Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Knight in shining armour. Relationship Status: Spoken for Join Date: May 2011 Location: England Posts: 250 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 87 Thanked 547 Times in 170 Posts Rep Power: 6763778	^ agree totally. __________________ https://youtu.be/IWvEXChflEE

05-23-2011, 05:33 PM	#7
Mister Bent Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: . Posts: 2,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,151 Thanked 5,825 Times in 1,722 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	It's also a lot like this. And you just have to get over it. I'm not going to think about how for a long time it really seemed like it was going to work out. __________________ Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken

05-21-2011, 07:57 PM	#3
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,832 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	I honestly feel that the Universe takes care of us in ways we don't understand. Each relationship I have had, I feel, had a reason for it. It was never meant to be forever, I chose to leave each one, because the time with that person had ran it's course, even though I may have thought it should have lasted forever in the beginning. Looking back I know there was a lesson, I got the lessons, thank you Universe for letting me come out with my sanity (questionable) and preparing me for the future.

05-22-2011, 09:25 AM	#5
pajama Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Klingon Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Just South of Nashvegas Baby Posts: 3,115 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,546 Thanked 7,476 Times in 1,808 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I think too, it's important to understand that the other person may not grieve for the same length as you do. Just because they have moved on to another relationship doesn't necessarilly mean they aren't grieving some of the loss of the relationship as well. Someone mentioned earliler too that the person ending the relationship may not grieve, but I disagree. They still grieve the loss of what they thought they had, the future they were hoping to make, and the time they may have invested in this relationship before realizing that it wasn't quite the right one. So yes we all grieve, and that's ok. A

08-27-2011, 08:18 AM	#9
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Ol butch bones. Preferred Pronoun?: Old G Relationship Status: Too old to play. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: :rolleyes: Posts: 1,547 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,602 Thanked 3,729 Times in 1,095 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I haven't seen hind nor hair of my wife since last Spring. She's probably camping in a corn field waiting for the Mother Ship If anyone meets a femme who claims to be the first gay woman Jesus, that's my wife... Tell her to come home please No regrets..just love.