Big Girl Love

[WolfyOne]

My dad used to say while I was growing up, there's two types of women in this world. Those built for speed and those built for comfort. Wasn't until I grew up and started looking at all women that I understood what he meant.

I've dated and or lived with women of all shapes and sizes. I adore all of them, but my preference is one with curves and meat on her bones. BBW, ya'll wear it well and don't let anyone ever tell you differently.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

My dad used to say while I was growing up, there's two types of women in this world. Those built for speed and those built for comfort. Wasn't until I grew up and started looking at all women that I understood what he meant.

I've dated and or lived with women of all shapes and sizes. I adore all of them, but my preference is one with curves and meat on her bones. BBW, ya'll wear it well and don't let anyone ever tell you differently.

[HeartBreak Kid]

Question;
What is the definition of "big girl"? Is it subjective and open to interpretation, or is there a size height requirement?
I had a person I was dating call me "chubby" once...
we never dated again.....
he meant it as a comliment but I feel like being called a "big Girl" somehow negatively compares me to a skinny girl...
Now I know I have my own issues and demons surrounding weight sexiness and feelings of self worth..and because of that being reffered to as a "big Girl" weirds me out...
For all of you who appreciate and love us curvacious delicious women I say....Thank you...(you have excellent taste)

[Inuus]

Sure I think the word is subjective and is open for interpretation. I dont think at all it has any requirements. Its all about what you are into and what your minds eye sees.
I have always been attracted to BBW. Ive never dated a woman that was what society deems thin. I dont have a set "size" within the BBW spectrum. Its all good to me. I have dated slightly plus size to alot bigger so to me there really isnt a set size although I wont lie Im sure there is a limit in size for me some place. I just have never reached that I guess

Originally Posted by HeartBreak Kid

Question;
What is the definition of "big girl"? Is it subjective and open to interpretation, or is there a size height requirement?
I had a person I was dating call me "chubby" once...
we never dated again.....
he meant it as a comliment but I feel like being called a "big Girl" somehow negatively compares me to a skinny girl...
Now I know I have my own issues and demons surrounding weight sexiness and feelings of self worth..and because of that being reffered to as a "big Girl" weirds me out...
For all of you who appreciate and love us curvacious delicious women I say....Thank you...(you have excellent taste)

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by HeartBreak Kid

Question;
What is the definition of "big girl"? Is it subjective and open to interpretation, or is there a size height requirement?
I had a person I was dating call me "chubby" once...
we never dated again.....
he meant it as a comliment but I feel like being called a "big Girl" somehow negatively compares me to a skinny girl...
Now I know I have my own issues and demons surrounding weight sexiness and feelings of self worth..and because of that being reffered to as a "big Girl" weirds me out...
For all of you who appreciate and love us curvacious delicious women I say....Thank you...(you have excellent taste)

I know what you mean and I don't want to be defined unless you want to call me sexy, gorgeous and the like. lol
I try not to get caught up in words and old baggage but I admit that I still do. I'm a size 16, tall and really curvy. I'm healthy and truth is I can run circles around most women. I struggle with feelings of not being good enough. Always having to check myself when it comes to diet and weight issues. I focus on the quality of my life and eating things that are healthy & conscious when it comes to the earth.
But I've been in love a few times and each time it ended because of someone else. This, of course brings back the old feelings and I find myself hiding, protecting myself even if find it silly.

At the same time I find that I am attracted to healthy people. If they are a little larger thats cool but I have a hard time being with someone that abuses their body and isn't conscious. For me its a matter of self respect. It's not about the size.

Let me shed more light before I get flamed here...lol

I casually dated someone years ago that was maybe 50 pounds overweight. I was ok with that but I wasn't ok with his overall lifestyle and how we'd take walks and within 5 min he was out of breath. He ate awful and to be honest I thought he'd have serious health issues. I suggested we "get healthy" together. Again its not about size. Even at my size I feel better 20 lbs lighter. He complained about his back, knees, etc. Ok, lets make a plan and lets do something about it. He was no ok with this. In fact he sabotaged my attempts and ultimately the relationship fell apart.

In the past few months I've dropped weight just from eating healthy and feeding my spirit. I'm not focused on diet or weight. My focus is on healing my body and living healthy for another 50 years. I want to be that 80 year old woman ziplining through a jungle or riding a horse. I might still have a big round ass but my heart will be healthy and I'll be full of fire.

[apretty]

christ on sale.

[Jet]

I want to tell you a story. I met someone I came to fall love with on line. We were on the phone 24/7 for 6 months while I lived in Colorado with my family. We talked about everything—and I mean everything to get to know each other.

I had never grown to love anyone or be so enamored with a woman until I met her. Trust me when I tell you I was completely carried away by her southern charm, her voice, her eloquence, and presence. I loved everything about her—that certain southern sexiness being from Atlanta; her views on life, and her intelligence. I loved the way she thought and most of all, how she responded to me as a transman. She was absolutely the kind of woman I could ever hope to be in love with. And I grew to love her, sight unseen except for a few pictures she sent. As time went on, I wanted her to the point of marriage and for her to be the one to kiss me goodbye for the last time—as my life partner.

Our relationship was based on trust— no stone was unturned about our lives, families and our experiences even as far back as childhood. We laughed and cried and shared over and over. Many times we talked about our health being in our 50s—our weight, exercise and
diets. When she sent her pictures she was heavy set and she told me they were out of date and that she was on a diet because she was determined to lose weight. I gave her kudos and encouraged her to keep going. She said she was 40 pounds within her goal, and to me, that was nothing.

She had planned to come to Denver to meet me, and it always failed because of something on her end or mine—logistically is just never happened.

Meantime I had sent her my art and she told me that I needed to be in Atlanta, and that she, herself, being in the corporate world had never seen designs as inventive or of the same level or caliber. She had opened the door for me in thinking of Atlanta as a career move instead of Denver. Naturally, being crazy about her, I came to Atlanta.

Since we had never met in person beforehand, we made a pact and promised each other that if for some reason, we didn’t hit it off or it didn’t work, we would be great friends because we liked each other and had so much in common. So what did I have to lose?

I landed in Atlanta and she picked me up at the airport. I was excited, nervous and I couldn’t wait to meet her.

When she pulled up and got out of the car, she looked as though she more like 140 pounds within her goal not 40; she was obese and much heavier than her pictures. I won’t lie to you, I was floored. I had on sunglasses and she asked me to take them off because she “knew” I would be blown away and she wanted to see my expression. I took them off, kissed her, hugged her and didn’t flinch once. What blew me away the most was that she wasn’t anywhere near the person she sounded like.

But I handled it and this is how:

First, I fell in love with her, not her weight. I fell in love with an incredible woman filled with poise, intelligence, grace and an unspeakable presence that draws you to her. As I collected myself more and more throughout that day, I felt that weight could be dealt with and that it really was secondary in the scheme of falling in love and wanting to marry her. At the same time, I also felt I had made the biggest mistake of my life coming to Atlanta to be with her because she had misrepresented herself. I struggled with my feelings because I felt split down the middle. But I believe in honoring what I say and I was determined to give things a chance and eventually decide between the two of us if things wee going to work out.

We had made a promise that if it didn’t work out we would remain friends. Besides, being with her, her weight never once overshadowed her demeanor or the qualities that had attracted me to her.

But then came clincher:

We lived apart when I came to Atlanta and so we would spend 4-day weekends at my apartment. The sixth weekend arrived and she left to help her daughter who was in major drama and crisis.

She never returned — not once and without so much as valid explanation.

In emails that followed she said we wouldn’t be a good fit and gave other reasons that never warranted her leaving or the fact that she didn’t want to be friends. When I read them to my friends and family they couldn’t believe it.

I was livid and hurt and on a rollercoaster of feelings that ran the full gamut.
I was willing to see it through and she walked out on me. Forget the weight. She completed destroyed the image I had of her as a woman of integrity. Talk about stunned? She left me in a strange town, no car, no bearings or direction, no help and no real explanation. Remember, I’m a trauma survivor which she knew about. So the shock of leaving me almost sent me over the edge; she could have killed me. The poetry in my thread, The Dancer of Atlanta, are about her with the exception of Rio Rio and
Rocket 88.

So you talk about big girl love? She was a big girl who was loved and never even knew how much.

[apretty]

i find myself so tired when someone gets all self-congratulatory about dating someone they never thought they'd be *attracted* to (read: fat). i always want to ask, 'and what.' exactly, suspiciously missing the question mark--because i don't really think all that much of anyone breaking their arm, patting themselves on the back--and lord knows, i don't want details.

[hippieflowergirl]

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

I want to tell you a story. I met someone I came to fall love with on line. We were on the phone 24/7 for 6 months while I lived in Colorado with my family. We talked about everything—and I mean everything to get to know each other.

I had never grown to love anyone or be so enamored with a woman until I met her. Trust me when I tell you I was completely carried away by her southern charm, her voice, her eloquence, and presence. I loved everything about her—that certain southern sexiness being from Atlanta; her views on life, and her intelligence. I loved the way she thought and most of all, how she responded to me as a transman. She was absolutely the kind of woman I could ever hope to be in love with. And I grew to love her, sight unseen except for a few pictures she sent. As time went on, I wanted her to the point of marriage and for her to be the one to kiss me goodbye for the last time—as my life partner.

Our relationship was based on trust— no stone was unturned about our lives, families and our experiences even as far back as childhood. We laughed and cried and shared over and over. Many times we talked about our health being in our 50s—our weight, exercise and
diets. When she sent her pictures she was heavy set and she told me they were out of date and that she was on a diet because she was determined to lose weight. I gave her kudos and encouraged her to keep going. She said she was 40 pounds within her goal, and to me, that was nothing.

She had planned to come to Denver to meet me, and it always failed because of something on her end or mine—logistically is just never happened.

Meantime I had sent her my art and she told me that I needed to be in Atlanta, and that she, herself, being in the corporate world had never seen designs as inventive or of the same level or caliber. She had opened the door for me in thinking of Atlanta as a career move instead of Denver. Naturally, being crazy about her, I came to Atlanta.

Since we had never met in person beforehand, we made a pact and promised each other that if for some reason, we didn’t hit it off or it didn’t work, we would be great friends because we liked each other and had so much in common. So what did I have to lose?

I landed in Atlanta and she picked me up at the airport. I was excited, nervous and I couldn’t wait to meet her.

When she pulled up and got out of the car, she looked as though she more like 140 pounds within her goal not 40; she was obese and much heavier than her pictures. I won’t lie to you, I was floored. I had on sunglasses and she asked me to take them off because she “knew” I would be blown away and she wanted to see my expression. I took them off, kissed her, hugged her and didn’t flinch once. What blew me away the most was that she wasn’t anywhere near the person she sounded like.

But I handled it and this is how:

First, I fell in love with her, not her weight. I fell in love with an incredible woman filled with poise, intelligence, grace and an unspeakable presence that draws you to her. As I collected myself more and more throughout that day, I felt that weight could be dealt with and that it really was secondary in the scheme of falling in love and wanting to marry her. At the same time, I also felt I had made the biggest mistake of my life coming to Atlanta to be with her because she had misrepresented herself. I struggled with my feelings because I felt split down the middle. But I believe in honoring what I say and I was determined to give things a chance and eventually decide between the two of us if things were going to work out.

We had made a promise that if it didn’t work out we would remain friends. Besides, being with her, her weight never once overshadowed her demeanor or the qualities that had attracted me to her.

But then came clincher:

We lived apart when I came to Atlanta and so we would spend 4-day weekends at my apartment. The sixth weekend arrived and she left to help her daughter who was in major drama and crisis.

She never returned — not once and without so much as valid explanation.

In emails that followed she said we wouldn’t be a good fit and gave other reasons that never warranted her leaving or the fact that she didn’t want to be friends. When I read them to my friends and family they couldn’t believe it.

I was livid and hurt and on a rollercoaster of feelings that ran the full gamut.
I was willing to see it through and she walked out on me. Forget the weight. She completed destroyed the image I had of her as a woman of integrity. Talk about stunned? She left me in a strange town, no car, no bearings or direction, no help and no real explanation. Remember, I’m a trauma survivor which she knew about. So the shock of leaving me almost sent me over the edge; she could have killed me. The poetry in my thread, The Dancer of Atlanta, are about her with the exception of Rio Rio and
Rocket 88.

So you talk about big girl love? She was a big girl who was loved and never even knew how much.

what if the perspective on this story was told from the fat girl's side?

i've waited a few days to respond to this and tried to read and re-read so that i understood. i know that i have only my perspective. i know that the intent of this post is to relay a personal experience. i also know that it really triggered some painful feelings in me. that's on me. my feelings are mine and no one is responsible or accountable for personal feelings except for the person to whom they belong.

Jet...you are someone of whom others think well, a reputation that i'm sure is well deserved. you are kind to many and patient with several and you have the heart and soul of an artist...something which makes you able to see beauty in all things. but the words highlighted in red above are meant to call out the ways in which i find your post hurtful and derogatory. i'm positive that you dont think of them that way. i hope you will consider looking at them from another point of view.

in no way do i think anyone should lie about their intentions or feelings regarding their relationship or friendships. i dont think that breaking up via email is acceptable when it's possible to talk face-to-face. but i dont think that anything happens in a vacuum.

many of us are trauma survivors. it's not anyone else's responsibility to put our needs ahead of their own, trauma or not. i am sincerely sorry that you were hurt and let down. i dont imagine that your Southern Belle was perfectly happy though, otherwise there was no reason for her to break off contact with you. i suspect that she felt let down as well. i have to wonder if some of your disappointment in her weight was obvious to her. did she feel rejected by you because you felt the things you wrote above? you meant them as accepting...but they arent necessarily so. i found them very wounding and even bordering on offensive. because i believe in my heart of hearts that you didnt mean them that way, i choose not to indulge the feelings of offense. but they're still hurtful in the same ways that comments like this have been damaging to most people who dont conform to a cultural ideal of weight for as long as we can remember.

you say she was the sort of woman that you could love forever, but then you were shaken in your belief by her physical presence. how could you have expected to hide that? i promise you, she knew it. you said no stone was left unturned in your discussions on the phone. did you tell her that if she weighed more than you thought she did you would be disappointed? you said she gave no "valid" reason for your breakup.

how do you know that? you dont understand how she felt. that's obvious because you label her reasoning for breaking up with you as invalid. worse, you place all of the reasons for disappointment (and nobility) squarely in your court. it's as though she had absolutely no reason to break up with you. and yet she did. so, is she insane? did she not fail to understand how grateful she should be that you were willing to "handle" your feelings about her weight? you said that your relationship was based on trust and that you thought she was a person of integrity. she trusted you too. you were obviously disappointed in her looks when you met. how could she trust you after that? how could she believe in you...in your integrity...after a moment like that?

she said she was 40 pounds within her goal but you thought she looked like she needed to lose 140? what was her goal? was it incremental? i dont want to lose 50 pounds. i want to lose 5 pounds. when i lose it, then i want to lose 5 more. some people want the milestone...not the final number. i have a pal who wants to weigh less than 200 pounds and so his goal is 199.

a lot of people look like they weigh more or less than they do. that perception changes with what we wear, whether or not we have good posture (that's a biggie actually) and our moods. that applies to all body sizes and shapes. she told you her photos were out of date and she weighed more at that time then she did in them. you werent left in the dark and you lead your reader to believe that at one point it made no difference to you what she weighed. your words go on to prove that this isnt true.

this woman believed that you were attracted to WHO she was. you said so to us, so i imagine you said so to her as well. imagine her dread when she saw the disappointment in your expression. everything she believed about you was shaken to its core....maybe because you were "floored" by her body size.

you say she was "obese". according to the 7th edition of the columbia medical encyclopedia (2008), obesity is defined as being 20% over one's ideal body weight. they note the "maximum appropriate weight" for my height as 159 pounds. that means that i'm obese at 190.8 pounds. i love that definition of obesity!!!

you hugged her and didnt flinch?

really?

again....was she supposed to be grateful for that?

it sounds as though you had to exert a lot of effort not to be disgusted by her. if i can feel that message in your words, she definitely felt it in the energy of your actual presence. saying you didnt "flinch" at her size makes it sound as though 1) you had any reason to and 2) that she should be grateful you didnt also scream, vomit...and run.

she wasnt the person she "sounded" like?

her weight made her less intelligent? less charming? less the beautifully composed and delightful woman you fell in love with on the phone? how so? how did her weight detract from her character? if she lied to you...then she's a liar. that has nothing to do with weight. and, i might venture to guess, that she probably felt rejected because of weight before meeting you. lying about weight isnt the greatest way to make sure that rejection never happens again...but it's certainly not uncommon....and not unexpected given the "i didnt even flinch" attitude of our peers.

you "handled" the discovery that she was fatter than you expected? this is one of the most painful things i've ever heard coming from a guy. it sounds as though you want to be congratulated for taking control of the sudden and complete abhorrence you felt for the woman you wanted to marry. i hope no one ever "handles" their feelings with regard to my looks. if i ever discover that someone finds me so wholly unacceptable because of the way i look, but has elected to "handle" their feelings, i'll issue them their walking papers so fast they wont have time to take a single breath between meeting and departure...because THEY wont be good enough for ME.

you collected yourself throughout the day? my god how horrible this must have been. for her. to watch you go through this agonizing process of trying to come to terms with the fact that she wasnt good looking enough for you must have been one of the most painful things she ever experienced...since she had believed up until that point that you loved her deeply. you felt her weight was secondary to falling in love and getting married. so it was on your agenda to do something about? what if she had been perfectly happy with her size? would you have refused to marry her?

you felt that you made the biggest mistake of your life going to atlanta to be with the woman who was, to all appearances, your soul mate because she appeared to be larger than you expected?

that must have hurt so much Jet! it must have hurt her so very much to discover that you, someone she trusted and believed in and cherished, looking down on her because of her weight...you the guy she thought she could trust to see her...really see her...and love her, not in spite of her size, but because it didnt matter what her size was as long as she was actually the intelligent, charming, funny, compassionate, interesting, composed woman she showed you that she was. imagine her pain at discovering that you werent certain she was worth the trip because she wasnt a particular size or shape.

it took her 6 weeks before she gave up on your relationship. your doubt took over the moment you met her. she never had a chance with you.

she was right Jet. it wouldnt have been a good fit. you're better off loving a woman who doesnt require you to control your aversion in order to touch her or consider the issue her looks something that needs to be handled.

just a different take on the story

[LieslKate]

[QUOTE=Ol' Jet;34950]I want to tell you a story. I met someone I came to fall love with on line. We were on the phone 24/7 for 6 months while I lived in Colorado with my family. We talked about everything—and I mean everything to get to know each other.

I had never grown to love anyone or be so enamored with a woman until I met her. Trust me when I tell you I was completely carried away by her southern charm, her voice, her eloquence, and presence. I loved everything about her—that certain southern sexiness being from Atlanta; her views on life, and her intelligence. I loved the way she thought and most of all, how she responded to me as a transman. She was absolutely the kind of woman I could ever hope to be in love with. And I grew to love her, sight unseen except for a few pictures she sent. As time went on, I wanted her to the point of marriage and for her to be the one to kiss me goodbye for the last time—as my life partner.

Our relationship was based on trust— no stone was unturned about our lives, families and our experiences even as far back as childhood. We laughed and cried and shared over and over. Many times we talked about our health being in our 50s—our weight, exercise and
diets. When she sent her pictures she was heavy set and she told me they were out of date and that she was on a diet because she was determined to lose weight. I gave her kudos and encouraged her to keep going. She said she was 40 pounds within her goal, and to me, that was nothing.

She had planned to come to Denver to meet me, and it always failed because of something on her end or mine—logistically is just never happened.

Meantime I had sent her my art and she told me that I needed to be in Atlanta, and that she, herself, being in the corporate world had never seen designs as inventive or of the same level or caliber. She had opened the door for me in thinking of Atlanta as a career move instead of Denver. Naturally, being crazy about her, I came to Atlanta.

Since we had never met in person beforehand, we made a pact and promised each other that if for some reason, we didn’t hit it off or it didn’t work, we would be great friends because we liked each other and had so much in common. So what did I have to lose?

I landed in Atlanta and she picked me up at the airport. I was excited, nervous and I couldn’t wait to meet her.

When she pulled up and got out of the car, she looked as though she more like 140 pounds within her goal not 40; she was obese and much heavier than her pictures. I won’t lie to you, I was floored. I had on sunglasses and she asked me to take them off because she “knew” I would be blown away and she wanted to see my expression. I took them off, kissed her, hugged her and didn’t flinch once. What blew me away the most was that she wasn’t anywhere near the person she sounded like.

But I handled it and this is how:

First, I fell in love with her, not her weight. I fell in love with an incredible woman filled with poise, intelligence, grace and an unspeakable presence that draws you to her. As I collected myself more and more throughout that day, I felt that weight could be dealt with and that it really was secondary in the scheme of falling in love and wanting to marry her. At the same time, I also felt I had made the biggest mistake of my life coming to Atlanta to be with her because she had misrepresented herself. I struggled with my feelings because I felt split down the middle. But I believe in honoring what I say and I was determined to give things a chance and eventually decide between the two of us if things wee going to work out.

We had made a promise that if it didn’t work out we would remain friends. Besides, being with her, her weight never once overshadowed her demeanor or the qualities that had attracted me to her.

But then came clincher:

We lived apart when I came to Atlanta and so we would spend 4-day weekends at my apartment. The sixth weekend arrived and she left to help her daughter who was in major drama and crisis.

She never returned — not once and without so much as valid explanation.

In emails that followed she said we wouldn’t be a good fit and gave other reasons that never warranted her leaving or the fact that she didn’t want to be friends. When I read them to my friends and family they couldn’t believe it.

I was livid and hurt and on a rollercoaster of feelings that ran the full gamut.
I was willing to see it through and she walked out on me. Forget the weight. She completed destroyed the image I had of her as a woman of integrity. Talk about stunned? She left me in a strange town, no car, no bearings or direction, no help and no real explanation. Remember, I’m a trauma survivor which she knew about. So the shock of leaving me almost sent me over the edge; she could have killed me. The poetry in my thread, The Dancer of Atlanta, are about her with the exception of Rio Rio and
Rocket 88.

So you talk about big girl love? She was a big girl who was loved and never even knew how much.


[/QUOTE]

I was the Grrl on the other side of a similar and very recent situation. We had already met once (for a 3 day weekend that ended in less than 12 hours) that didn't go well for other reasons. We also had similar plans, thoughts and dreams moving ahead in the relationship and I was going to be the one moving there.

After a couple of weeks not speaking she called and we decided to try again and spent the next 2 months talking for hours every day about anything and everything under the sun including issues about body image (hers and mine, with a less than 25lb difference in respective weights) and dealing with them. We had / have so much in common and after the heart-rending year I had just gone through I was filled with hope, desire and trust in a better future.

We decided to start with a visit of 10 days... the second day of the day visit she told me she didn't see any possibility of a relationship as partners/lovers/married as she was not able to be physically attracted to me and we had nothing much in common; she then emotionally distanced herself, barely spoke to me and I had 8 more agonizing and heartbreaking days to get though in her home before my flight home. I was stunned to say the least and in so much pain, absolutely numb. Never buy a cheap ticket that can't be changed...

It was not all negative, I always try to find something positive even in a bad situation and it was my first holiday in 8 years. We had fun going out and exploring her city (my possible future home), meeting her friends and having conversations on a superficial level but the trust had been broken. We are speaking yet again simply because we do have that much to talk about and do care for each other very much just not daily and not the way it was. I miss what we had and its hard being just friends.

I think your G/f perhaps felt your hesitation and struggle and took what for her may have been the easy way out without giving sufficient thought as to how it would affect you... maybe it was what she needed to do to deal with her pain.

I feel the pain, anger and heartbreak in your post and understand it. I wish both of us a positive future and in spite of how I am feeling right now I would try yet a third time even though my heart feels battered and bruised. As for starting a new relationship that will be a very long time coming.

[apretty]

Originally Posted by kat6071

apretty, you are setting the equality BIG GIRL with being fat!..I'm talking about my personal opinion, my personal preferences, the woman I choose to be with or not. Isn't it what this thread is about? Did I miss something?

you missed a lot. first, i don't even know what this means: you are setting the equality BIG GIRL with being fat!

if you mean to say you're using the terms, BIG GIRL and FAT interchangeably, without shame, judgment, or apology--then you'd be correct. if you'd like to explore that *concept* with me, just ask.

seems to me that the thread is in support/favor/admiration of BIG FAT SEXY WOMEN. not what YOUR preferences are, personal or otherwise. take that to your own thread on 'kat6071's Personal Size Preferences: WAAAY TOO MUCH' and detail your desire 'till your heart's content.

Originally Posted by Sachita

If they are a little larger thats cool but I have a hard time being with someone that abuses their body and isn't conscious. For me its a matter of self respect. It's not about the size.

that's pretty much the grossest statement i've read in a long time, and i read some gross stuff, like Chuck Palahniuk-level-gross.

that said, perhaps you might want to consider your own thread entitled, 'A Little Larger Thats Cool' but this simply isn't the place to detail what you personally equate with health in relation to size/fat.

and about the 'conscious' and the 'respect' as if "big girls" are losing consciousness and eating in a disrespecting, self-induced caloric stupor. i mean really--this is so not what this thread was intended for (i feel safe in saying).

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by apretty

you missed a lot. first, i don't even know what this means: you are setting the equality BIG GIRL with being fat!

if you mean to say you're using the terms, BIG GIRL and FAT interchangeably, without shame, judgment, or apology--then you'd be correct. if you'd like to explore that *concept* with me, just ask.

seems to me that the thread is in support/favor/admiration of BIG FAT SEXY WOMEN. not what YOUR preferences are, personal or otherwise. take that to your own thread on 'kat6071's Personal Size Preferences: WAAAY TOO MUCH' and detail your desire 'till your heart's content.






that's pretty much the grossest statement i've read in a long time, and i read some gross stuff, like Chuck Palahniuk-level-gross.

that said, perhaps you might want to consider your own thread entitled, 'A Little Larger Thats Cool' but this simply isn't the place to detail what you personally equate with health in relation to size/fat.

and about the 'conscious' and the 'respect' as if "big girls" are losing consciousness and eating in a disrespecting, self-induced caloric stupor. i mean really--this is so not what this thread was intended for (i feel safe in saying).

wow I'm sorry grossed you out. You certainly do have an agenda and like to read into things. Thats cool. I'm not interested in drama.

I do however want to feel comfortable to state my opinions and dont want to feel like I have to walk on egg shells to try and explain myself.

[apretty]

Originally Posted by Sachita

wow I'm sorry grossed you out. You certainly do have an agenda and like to read into things. Thats cool. I'm not interested in drama.

I do however want to feel comfortable to state my opinions and dont want to feel like I have to walk on egg shells to try and explain myself.

what agenda? that it's not okay to post your *negative opinions* on size in the thread titled, BIG GIRL LOVE? please, tell me how that's me furthering a personal agenda.

i only wish that you'd read *any* of what i'd posted and it made a difference, instead of getting personal, implying that we've ever had any kind of exchange before this, *ever*--taking the focus of your insensitive and misguided statements and making this about you and i (it's not).

[Lady Jewel]

Youre more than entitled to your opinions. But why dont you state them in the appropriate thread? Just sayin.
People are getting offended in here and righteously so. The INTENT of this thread was to honor our "Big" "Fluffy" "Chubby" "Succulent" "Thick" "Rubenesque" "Fat" (Get my point yet???) sisters. Of which I am one.
Is it so phuking unimaginable to have thread for us bigger girls where we are honored for who we are, and not picked apart?? Dont you think that we get enough crap every single day that we walk this planet because we dont fit into societys definitition of whats beautiful??
And if that to you is an "agenda", well, then my big fat self has a HUGE one as well. And if this comes off as my being annoyed, then fait acompli.

Jewel

Originally Posted by Sachita

wow I'm sorry grossed you out. You certainly do
have an agenda and like to read into things. Thats cool. I'm not interested in drama.

I do however want to feel comfortable to state my opinions and dont want to feel like I have to walk on egg shells to try and explain myself.

[apretty]

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

My dad used to say while I was growing up, there's two types of women in this world. Those built for speed and those built for comfort. Wasn't until I grew up and started looking at all women that I understood what he meant.

i know you mean well but my big-girl-self was built for speed (i'm fast walking, talking and driving) *and* keeping a butch uncomfortable (as much as he allows, anyway) is all part of my irresistible charm.

the ladies do not want to be compared with minivans and laz-e-boy recliners, no disrespect to your father--it's just no compliment to group us all together as if size = sugar and spice.

[betenoire]

Dude, I am all for a discussion about fat-positivity. But I'm a wee smidgen wary since "Go BBW" threads always end up with at least one asshat mentioning how they are afraid that they would crush, break, bruise, blah blah blah a skinny girl.

Colour me a pessimist, colour me a realist, just don't colour me yellow cuz I look like shit in that shade...but I figured I'd toss in a quick little "don't go there" before somebody, you know, goes there.

Sexy is sexy regardless of size. Sexy, my darlings, is in the walk, the talk, the glance and the glare. It's in the level of confidence and how you work with what your DNA tossed atcha. Dig?

[KayCee]

Originally Posted by betenoire

Sexy is sexy regardless of size. Sexy, my darlings, is in the walk, the talk, the glance and the glare. It's in the level of confidence and how you work with what your DNA tossed atcha. Dig?

yes, that's how it should be...although I personally do not prefer..WAAAY TOO MUCH! THAT turns me off..either way.

[apretty]

Originally Posted by kat6071

yes, that's how it should be...although I personally do not prefer..WAAAY TOO MUCH! THAT turns me off..either way.

making a statement like, "WAAAY TOO MUCH! THAT turns me off." reads as though you're speaking of being 'turned off' by fat, in the BIG GIRL thread--i know i'm wrong and i eagerly await clarification.

[KayCee]

apretty, you are setting the equality BIG GIRL with being fat!..I'm talking about my personal opinion, my personal preferences, the woman I choose to be with or not. Isn't it what this thread is about? Did I miss something?

[WolfyOne]

Originally Posted by apretty

i know you mean well but my big-girl-self was built for speed (i'm fast walking, talking and driving) *and* keeping a butch uncomfortable (as much as he allows, anyway) is all part of my irresistible charm.

the ladies do not want to be compared with minivans and laz-e-boy recliners, no disrespect to your father--it's just no compliment to group us all together as if size = sugar and spice.

Perhaps you read it differently than the way it was meant and no disrespect to you. I'm not going to get into a pissing match with anyone in here. It's great YOUR big girl self is built any way that you choose. I prefer a woman not make me uncomfortable no matter where I should be with her.

Oh and maybe YOUR comparison is as YOU say, but don't put those words in my mouth. I would never disrespect any woman intentionally.