I am... and I prefer the term...

[Toughy]

societal expectations of how you should behave as a woman

I think that depends on what society/culture you were born to even within the US.

I come from the desert southwest (southeast new mexico). Women wore pants, worked along side men on the farm/ranch. The rule of thumb is: 'the butcher she looks, the more likely she is straight'. The expectation from farm/ranch culture was that women could and should be able to do what men did. And men should be able to do what women did. I was not raised with 'women's roles' and 'men's roles'. I was in for a hella shock when I went to college and ran into this other idea about women.

That is not to say I did not understand I was different. I knew I was not like other girls/women..........even the butch looking ones. I was entirely insecure in the girl-boy stuff. My first crushes were on girls even tho I could not articulate that crush. But I did know it was different and I was different.

So it's a mixed bag for me............but don't call me cis-sexed and/or cis-gendered.

I think the really confusing part is how 'gender' and 'sex' are interchangeable except when they are not.

[LipstickLola]

My ID is none of the above, and yet I am here

Interesting though!

[noneoftheabove]

hmmm i guess what bothers me most about the cis terms is their usage. I don't have problems with anyone's personal ID's. In fact, i think the cis terms can be quite helpful in explaining an individual's experience with gender when used as a self-ID. I disagree with the use of cis(anything) as a blanket term for those who do not ID as trans. Cis implies a knowledge of someone's self identity and we cannot know this just by looking (which is how this labeling usually happens). The other terms don't imply anything about how one views their own body or gender. Personally though, i use non trans(sexed or gender). I think that I see things this way because neither cis or trans fits for me.

[foxyshaman]

Until I started on line with BF communities I had NO IDEA there extent of different identities. I don't use any term "cis" simply because until this particular thread I never really understood the distinction. I do know so... THANK YOU.

I consider myself a third gender, but I come at it from a shamanic perspective. I had no idea until I started my research that shamans were and are considered to be the third gender. I felt like I finally had a reference point to what I had referred to myself consistently over the years. Then I came to BF communities and found out there was another way to determine third gender. I have found that my referring to myself as the third gender is often poopooed or not given any notice <shoulder shrug>. Doesn't change it, just interesting to 'feel' the response.

It has been a LLLLOOOONNNGGGG journey for me to embrace my feminine side. I never had any problem with my female gender, I have never had gender dysphoria, and I am grateful for that. I was revising a teaching I had done from 2006 to teach in early 2011. In my notes was a reference to wanting to/wishing to find my feminine side... and totally forgot that... and then voila here I am 2011 and have found myself not only finding my feminine side, but lovingly embracing it.

So... I did not participate in the poll because I did not understand it at first glance. now I understand what the OP was after. I respect the poll, and certainly respect each posters opinions and thoughts.

I just wanted to share a foxes thoughts...

[Leigh]

I'm an FTM and I personally ID as Male, but I don't really go into Bio or Cis cuz I guess I just see Myself as a regular guy :-)

[Andrew, Jr.]

I too am a FTM, and see myself just as a guy. It is other people who seem to have issues with my id from what I have learned over time.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Toughy

I think that depends on what society/culture you were born to even within the US.

I come from the desert southwest (southeast new mexico). Women wore pants, worked along side men on the farm/ranch. The rule of thumb is: 'the butcher she looks, the more likely she is straight'. The expectation from farm/ranch culture was that women could and should be able to do what men did. And men should be able to do what women did. I was not raised with 'women's roles' and 'men's roles'. I was in for a hella shock when I went to college and ran into this other idea about women.

That is not to say I did not understand I was different. I knew I was not like other girls/women..........even the butch looking ones. I was entirely insecure in the girl-boy stuff. My first crushes were on girls even tho I could not articulate that crush. But I did know it was different and I was different.

So it's a mixed bag for me............but don't call me cis-sexed and/or cis-gendered.

I think the really confusing part is how 'gender' and 'sex' are interchangeable except when they are not.

Yes- very confusing!


I had a little bit of what you describe when I lived as a teen in a "mountain town"- Yet, felt like you did. I was not the same kind of butch as these other women due to my sexuality, not my gender presentation.

This is just not a simple subject area. Sometimes I wonder why we think it can be wrapped-up into a one size fits all paradigm. Both gender & sexuality are elastic and fluid to me and defy simplicity.