Scaring straight women.. rawwrrr... lol

Elijah · 05-28-2011, 11:02 AM

Welcome to what it's like to be a butch...24/7. Uncomfortable, eh?

starryeyes · 05-28-2011, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElijahRene

Welcome to what it's like to be a butch...24/7. Uncomfortable, eh?

Yes, it is, and it gives me more (if thats possible!) adoration for all you beautiful, amazing butches for being who you are and having to deal with such nonsense. Hugs to all of you on the spectrum.

Starry

Mister Bent · 05-28-2011, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElijahRene

Welcome to what it's like to be a butch...24/7. Uncomfortable, eh?

Really?

It seems to me the femme experience (which is what I believed this thread to be about) has marked differences, and that the OP was speaking in part about the impact of the sudden lifting of the veil of invisibility, which is not a thing any masculine presenting person has to face.

I'm not butch, but as a masculine person, I wouldn't say I much relate to the OP's experience, though I have become the object (uncomfortably so) of others bi-curiosity. Perhaps it's because I'm not trying to occupy "female" space (for example, sharing a room during business travel), or maybe because I do not otherwise engage in "predatory" type behaviors, but I believe my indifference conveys exactly the message I wish.

I think Drew had good advice: "When a straight woman assumes you want every woman you see, ask her, well, do you want every man you see?"

Also, my apologies for sticking my nose in femme space. I'm curious about this aspect of femme invisibility, and the repercussions.

Ebon · 05-28-2011, 01:47 PM

How about the ones that ask if you are attracted to them then get offended when you say no. "Well why not?!!"

Sorry you have to go through this starry. Maybe she will come around and realize you are still the same person.

Arwen · 05-28-2011, 01:56 PM

Have had this happen.
I look them in the eye and tell them, "Sorry, but I won't date anyone who would wear my clothes or borrow my makeup on a regular basis."

I get a bit annoyed at the idea that I am so out of control with my sexual preferences that I would pounce on someone.

Agree with the sentiments expressed re: Do you want every man you see?

NO MAS!

EnderD_503 · 05-28-2011, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arwen

I get a bit annoyed at the idea that I am so out of control with my sexual preferences that I would pounce on someone.

This exactly. With the whole queer/lgbt spectrum the general public seem to have this idea that we're all a bunch of out of control sexual predators who are just waiting to pounce on straight people. Centuries of propaganda have done their work on the heterosexual psyche...

Martina · 05-28-2011, 02:52 PM

One of the weirder experiences i had was with a friend's sister. She would not give up. She is a married straight woman. She had had two affairs with women. Apparently her husband didn't care or didn't count affairs with women to be the same. Then she lost a lesbian friend of hers by constantly hitting on her. Then she ran me off too. In between hitting on us, she bitched about her husband. i am not sure whether we were supposed to fill a need he couldn't or wouldn't, or whether she was trying to convince us that the relationship wasn't that strong.

My god that women would not take no for an answer. i had to stop going to my friend's parties and events because she would be there.

So years later, i thought it must be safe and i went to one of his parties. She was there and introduced me to someone as the woman she almost married. *shaking my head* In her dreams.

Gemme · 05-28-2011, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dixielady

I totally get what you are saying. Happens to me often for some reason. I just don't get it. With some I think it is a "horror" type thing, some are just apprehensive, and some are just down-right conceited.

I had a woman stand up in my social diversity class the other day when we were talking about folks who pass,etc and say "omg, every lesbian I've ever met wants me!" I'm sitting behind her, once again trying not to punch her in the back of the head (because she says stupid crap constantly). I interrupted her long enough to say "Darlin, trust me. I'm queer and wouldn't give you the time of day." (Which was much more polite than what I wanted to say.) The cute butch sitting next to her agreed my statement.

Now she's all pissy at us, and keeps asking "What, am I not pretty enough?" *blink blink* Seriously??

Because she would have already tap danced on my last nerve with the other stuff she's said in your class, I think I would look her directly in the eye and say, "Frankly, no." and then walk away. Her insecurities would take care of the rest.

It doesn't matter that, to me, she'd fall into the 'too pretty' category. I'm just mean enough to prefer the other way.

05-28-2011, 11:02 AM	#1
Elijah Member How Do You Identify?: Genderqueer Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: Open to healthy possibilities... Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Michigan Posts: 554 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 738 Thanked 1,629 Times in 393 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Welcome to what it's like to be a butch...24/7. Uncomfortable, eh? __________________ "There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love." ~Washington Irving

05-28-2011, 01:47 PM	#4
Ebon Senior Member How Do You Identify?: With my souls eyes. Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: lol Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Here Posts: 3,476 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,524 Thanked 11,142 Times in 2,757 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	How about the ones that ask if you are attracted to them then get offended when you say no. "Well why not?!!" Sorry you have to go through this starry. Maybe she will come around and realize you are still the same person. __________________ In Lak'ech Ala K'in I'm a Soul Rebel http://wannabereverend.wordpress.com/ Spirituality is not a belief system or ideology, it is the surrender of one's ego to the infinite wisdom and knowledge that is the universe.

05-28-2011, 01:56 PM	#5
Arwen Joy Seeker How Do You Identify?: Smartly-Flavored Preferred Pronoun?: Goddess Relationship Status: Mrs. Syzygy 1/9/14 Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Joyville, NM (aka Land of Enchantment) Posts: 10,140 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,636 Thanked 28,119 Times in 6,414 Posts Rep Power: 21474862	Have had this happen. I look them in the eye and tell them, "Sorry, but I won't date anyone who would wear my clothes or borrow my makeup on a regular basis." I get a bit annoyed at the idea that I am so out of control with my sexual preferences that I would pounce on someone. Agree with the sentiments expressed re: Do you want every man you see? NO MAS! __________________ I wrote a book, y'all! *FREE* Tarotscopes Seek Joy, y'all. Eschew hate. 9Words: A Poetry Challenge \| Do you like me?

05-28-2011, 02:52 PM	#7
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,286 Times in 4,167 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	One of the weirder experiences i had was with a friend's sister. She would not give up. She is a married straight woman. She had had two affairs with women. Apparently her husband didn't care or didn't count affairs with women to be the same. Then she lost a lesbian friend of hers by constantly hitting on her. Then she ran me off too. In between hitting on us, she bitched about her husband. i am not sure whether we were supposed to fill a need he couldn't or wouldn't, or whether she was trying to convince us that the relationship wasn't that strong. My god that women would not take no for an answer. i had to stop going to my friend's parties and events because she would be there. So years later, i thought it must be safe and i went to one of his parties. She was there and introduced me to someone as the woman she almost married. shaking my head In her dreams.