SMOKERS... LETS KICK the HABIT!!

Julie · 06-08-2011, 07:15 AM

I fell!
A couple days ago - I had a meltdown. A genuine meltdown directed at my three son's. I became hysterical (lol omg so dramatic) and stole one of Isa's (middle son's) cigs and smoked it, as if I had never quit. And then another. And then the next morning, snuck into his room and stole one out of his pack, and then another. Then yesterday same routine - except Isa left for the week and then some of Ben's friends came over who smoked and when they were not looking, I stole theirs!

How Pathetic!

I just charged my e-cig and at some point this morning will go get some mild filters. I am not sure why I cannot manage my emotions, except ---- I did just get my period, a week early and I am emotional for a variety of reasons -- But why the cigs? Why do we always reach for the cigs?

That is all - I am not ashamed, just a bit disappointed in myself. I am glad the kids left for a few days - I need to regroup and find some *me* time and get back on track. AND - I told Isa, you cannot come back home with cigarettes. I am not strong enough yet.

Julie

06-08-2011, 07:15 AM	#11
Julie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Angel * Femme * Lesbian * Girl * Woman * Slut * Bitch * Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: No longer a Virgin Bride to Dreamer ~ May 17th, 2014 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New York Posts: 4,674 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,676 Thanked 18,160 Times in 3,633 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I fell! A couple days ago - I had a meltdown. A genuine meltdown directed at my three son's. I became hysterical (lol omg so dramatic) and stole one of Isa's (middle son's) cigs and smoked it, as if I had never quit. And then another. And then the next morning, snuck into his room and stole one out of his pack, and then another. Then yesterday same routine - except Isa left for the week and then some of Ben's friends came over who smoked and when they were not looking, I stole theirs! How Pathetic! I just charged my e-cig and at some point this morning will go get some mild filters. I am not sure why I cannot manage my emotions, except ---- I did just get my period, a week early and I am emotional for a variety of reasons -- But why the cigs? Why do we always reach for the cigs? That is all - I am not ashamed, just a bit disappointed in myself. I am glad the kids left for a few days - I need to regroup and find some me time and get back on track. AND - I told Isa, you cannot come back home with cigarettes. I am not strong enough yet. Julie __________________ “Sometimes only one person is missing and the whole world seems depopulated.” ~ Alphonse de Lamartine - 1790-1869 http://i374.photobucket.com/albums/o...ps4d9fb6c0.jpg I Love You ~ I Love Us May 17, 2014