Anybody want to talk about sexual expression (performance?) as we age? Nitty gritty stuff.

Leigh · 06-13-2011, 07:10 PM

I've quite often dated partners older than Me, and we've had to accommodate some physical problems but in the end it all worked out. Rockin I'm really sorry that happened to you, I guess I would just think if your in pain that the femme would understand and be more concerned about how your doing and not whether or not you can finish what you began. Foreplay most certainly comes first but I think that no matter the age or physical condition one partner may be dealing with, experimentation and a great imagination will definately help when coming up with new ways to have fun :-)

Quintease · 06-13-2011, 08:03 PM

I was on anti-depressants for about 5 years in my 20's. I actually had to change my meds every year in order to not lose my orgasm! The best thing I found to keep my libido going was to just do it! Once I started it was fine, it was just the maintaining interest that could be problematic. I also found porn that I could read on my own, that kept me interested.

I've also road-tested a Kegel and would recommend it to anyone. I haven't had kids yet but this Kegel was worth it's weight in gold. I raved about it so much that my Sister-in-law went out and bought one.

iamkeri1 · 06-13-2011, 10:48 PM

Quintease,
Can you provide a link for the Kegel?
Smooches,
Keri

Rockinonahigh · 06-16-2011, 02:24 PM

Hellooooo,how is everyone today???Just thought I would check this out hear,will post more later.

AtLast · 06-16-2011, 04:11 PM

Thinking about the use and role of things like musle relaxants as proprophylactic agents for chronic pain folks. I get really tired of purist outrage against this. If something enables me to enjoy sex more and be more agile physically during sex- keep your purist pronunciations to yourself! BTW, other non-pharma methods can be utilized- accupresure is one that ought to find it's way along with self-hypnosis to the bedroom. Again, an altered-state is not always negative dirung sex!!

wolfbittenpoet · 06-16-2011, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Thinking about the use and role of things like musle relaxants as proprophylactic agents for chronic pain folks. I get really tired of purist outrage against this. If something enables me to enjoy sex more and be more agile physically during sex- keep your purist pronunciations to yourself! BTW, other non-pharma methods can be utilized- accupresure is one that ought to find it's way along with self-hypnosis to the bedroom. Again, an altered-state is not always negative dirung sex!!

The only thing I recommend from muscle relaxant use for sex is to have some safeties in place. I overdid more then once and only felt it the next day. And I am not talking nice afterglow aches but oh my god what bus hit me agony.

iamkeri1 · 06-16-2011, 08:13 PM

ALH,
I guess I am not following you, what kind of purist would be against this? Could you explain a little more? Seems logical to me - like taking omeprazole (prilosec) before tacos to prevent heartburn.
I can only imagine I would object if you were so overly medicated that you could not control your performance as it were, or if you were totally tuned out to me. The only ones whose opinions should matter are yours and your partner(s) for the occasion.
Smooches,
Keri

Quote:

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Thinking about the use and role of things like musle relaxants as proprophylactic agents for chronic pain folks. I get really tired of purist outrage against this. If something enables me to enjoy sex more and be more agile physically during sex- keep your purist pronunciations to yourself! BTW, other non-pharma methods can be utilized- accupresure is one that ought to find it's way along with self-hypnosis to the bedroom. Again, an altered-state is not always negative dirung sex!!

AtLast · 06-17-2011, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamkeri1

ALH,
I guess I am not following you, what kind of purist would be against this? Could you explain a little more? Seems logical to me - like taking omeprazole (prilosec) before tacos to prevent heartburn.
I can only imagine I would object if you were so overly medicated that you could not control your performance as it were, or if you were totally tuned out to me. The only ones whose opinions should matter are yours and your partner(s) for the occasion.
Smooches,
Keri

This would be the "never take a narcotic" (pain medication) purist. Or people that continually go on about how awful any type of medication is bad. I get really tired of able-bodied, non-chronic pain individuals pontificating about pain or muscle relaxant medications. Absolutely, one that uses thes prescriptions and will for the rest of their life needs to be careful and also integrate non-medication pain relief procedures in the mix. But, sometimes, these medications are needed.

I have had pain issues in my life since the age of 16. I have never become dependent on pain or other types of habit-forming medications (or other drugs such as alcohol) and I'm 60 now. Yes, I most certainly have had to be aware of the risks and sometimes when I look back at teen and young adulthood, I think I was at great risk to become addicted to these medications. Perhaps because I was always physically active and swimming was a sport I participated in, I was controlling pain in that way for a very long time even though there were times I was bed-ridden due to back pain. Even after major spine surgeries, I always stopped paion meds within 48 hours. yes, we have to be aware and careful, but there is a lot of moralizing about the use of these kinds of medications, I believe.

I agree with you about not having control over performance or not really being "present" during love-making. Best thing to do is take half of something- or just enough to put pain/stiffness at bay. I guess alcohol could be used as well. I don't drink much, so that probably wouldn't come to mind right away. However, a glass of a nice wine with dinner could work! LOL, I am such a light-weight, one glass is enough.

Does this help?

Quintease · 06-16-2011, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamkeri1

Quintease,
Can you provide a link for the Kegel?
Smooches,
Keri

Oh god, mine was a Kegel 8, so they're not cheap. I swear they work though, provided you're prepared to use them every day for at least 3 months. My sister-in-law managed and she has two kids, a business and she's not the most organised person in the world..

There are much cheaper manual ones, but I was always too lazy to use them.

06-13-2011, 07:10 PM	#1
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I've quite often dated partners older than Me, and we've had to accommodate some physical problems but in the end it all worked out. Rockin I'm really sorry that happened to you, I guess I would just think if your in pain that the femme would understand and be more concerned about how your doing and not whether or not you can finish what you began. Foreplay most certainly comes first but I think that no matter the age or physical condition one partner may be dealing with, experimentation and a great imagination will definately help when coming up with new ways to have fun :-) __________________ "When you fall off the wagon ... clutch the sides of it until you get a better grip!"

06-13-2011, 08:03 PM	#2
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	I was on anti-depressants for about 5 years in my 20's. I actually had to change my meds every year in order to not lose my orgasm! The best thing I found to keep my libido going was to just do it! Once I started it was fine, it was just the maintaining interest that could be problematic. I also found porn that I could read on my own, that kept me interested. I've also road-tested a Kegel and would recommend it to anyone. I haven't had kids yet but this Kegel was worth it's weight in gold. I raved about it so much that my Sister-in-law went out and bought one. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

06-13-2011, 10:48 PM	#3
iamkeri1 Member How Do You Identify?: femme woman Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Florida Posts: 905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 302 Thanked 2,153 Times in 659 Posts Rep Power: 16642920	Quintease, Can you provide a link for the Kegel? Smooches, Keri

06-16-2011, 02:24 PM	#4
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Hellooooo,how is everyone today???Just thought I would check this out hear,will post more later.

06-16-2011, 04:11 PM	#5
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,828 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Thinking about the use and role of things like musle relaxants as proprophylactic agents for chronic pain folks. I get really tired of purist outrage against this. If something enables me to enjoy sex more and be more agile physically during sex- keep your purist pronunciations to yourself! BTW, other non-pharma methods can be utilized- accupresure is one that ought to find it's way along with self-hypnosis to the bedroom. Again, an altered-state is not always negative dirung sex!!