Sarcasm, Scathing Witticisms & Uninspiring Quotes

Diva · 01-19-2010, 11:12 AM

They worship the ground that he walks away from.

~Sarcasm Society

NJFemmie · 01-19-2010, 11:15 AM

You're about as useful as a popcorn fart.

Diva · 01-19-2010, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NJFemmie

You're about as useful as a popcorn fart.

Nice tie~in....since it IS National Popcorn Day!

NJFemmie · 01-19-2010, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva

Nice tie~in....since it IS National Popcorn Day!

PRECISELY!!

(Sorry, no pic of popcorn farts to be had ... thankfully!)

*lil snort*

Rook · 01-19-2010, 11:32 AM

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac"]YouTube- George Carlin Talks About "Stuff"[/ame]

Rook · 01-19-2010, 11:56 AM

Christ is so cool. He's born, I get presents. He dies, I get candy. ~ Anon

Rook · 01-19-2010, 12:02 PM

Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance

Here's how Powell should have produced his evidence to the UN: "We're absolutely sure Saddam has weapons of mass destruction because WE SOLD THEM TO HIM! And I have the receipts RIGHT HERE!" (Powell holds up receipts)

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

Inuus · 01-19-2010, 12:18 PM

"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy." - Damien Harrison

"Satire is great, but for Nazis you use baseball bats and broken bottles." - Woody Allen

"How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?" Bumper Sticker

"Considering my last relationship, I'd rather have the extra rib." - Unknown

"All extremists should be taken out and shot." - Unknown

"The gene pool could use a little chlorine." - Bumper Sticker

"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!" - Bumper Sticker

NJFemmie · 01-28-2010, 08:47 AM

And which dwarf are you?

I refuse to star in your psychodrama.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Whisper my favorite words: "I'm leaving now."

dreadgeek · 01-28-2010, 12:56 PM

The person who wrote the advertisements is without doubt the most ignorant person now alive on the planet; also without doubt he is an idiot, an idiot of the 33rd degree, and scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link. (Mark Twain)

Trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing it. (Congressman Barney Frank D-MA)

The breathtaking inanity of the...decision is evident when considered against the factual backdrop...(Judge John E. Jones in the case of Kitzmiller v. Dover School Board)

I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry him. (Douglas Adams--Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Unlike in Alice in Wonderland, simply saying something is so does not make it so. (Judge Clay Land Rhodes v. MacDonald)

And my all-time favorite snarky statement:

"Not only is it not right, it's not even wrong!" (Wolfgang Pauli)

Cheers
Aj

SassyLeo · 02-05-2010, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreadgeek

Trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing it. (Congressman Barney Frank D-MA)

Cheers
Aj

I love this!

Thanks for sharing it.

JAGG · 11-30-2011, 07:38 AM

"I'm trying to see things from his point of view, but I can't stick my head up my ass that far."

"A few more brain cells and he might be dangerous. "

" Don't go away mad, just go away ."

Jeep · 08-29-2011, 04:44 PM

Too tired to go throught them all so this may be a repeat.. One of the few things I remember from highschool was a sign in the office that said:
Everyone brings joy into this office;
Some when they enter
Some when they leave

My often-repeated prayer at work:
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they ticked me off

‎5 RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the jerks name.
3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to beat them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

Stupidity is not a crime. You're free to go.

NJFemmie · 08-29-2011, 05:06 PM

If stupidity were a crime, you'd be serving a life sentence.

kittygrrl · 11-15-2011, 08:16 PM

but Uncle Buck's is a classic

Tia Russell: Are you crazy?
Buck Russell: I can be.
Tia Russell: You could have taken his head off!
Buck Russell: Yeah, but would he notice?

cinderella · 11-30-2011, 08:38 AM

"Poor dear, she went hunting for fashion, and didn't shoot a thing."

JAGG · 11-30-2011, 09:02 AM

" Well suicide is always an option."

" Life is difficult, it's even more difficult when you're stupid."

"Don't worry, only the good die young, you have another 100 yrs or so. "

01-19-2010, 11:15 AM	#2
NJFemmie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?: I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status: Still loving my Mare ;) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New Jersey Posts: 4,683 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,343 Thanked 11,419 Times in 2,976 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	You're about as useful as a popcorn fart. __________________

01-19-2010, 11:32 AM	#5
Rook Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?: Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Columbus Posts: 2,280 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,227 Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac"]YouTube- George Carlin Talks About "Stuff"[/ame] __________________

01-19-2010, 11:56 AM	#6
Rook Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?: Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Columbus Posts: 2,280 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,227 Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Christ is so cool. He's born, I get presents. He dies, I get candy. ~ Anon __________________

01-19-2010, 12:02 PM	#7
Rook Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?: Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Columbus Posts: 2,280 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,227 Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance Here's how Powell should have produced his evidence to the UN: "We're absolutely sure Saddam has weapons of mass destruction because WE SOLD THEM TO HIM! And I have the receipts RIGHT HERE!" (Powell holds up receipts) Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got! C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. __________________

01-19-2010, 12:18 PM	#8
Inuus Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Relationship Status: Single Not Looking Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 265 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 242 Thanked 377 Times in 143 Posts Rep Power: 3733068	"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy." - Damien Harrison "Satire is great, but for Nazis you use baseball bats and broken bottles." - Woody Allen "How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?" Bumper Sticker "Considering my last relationship, I'd rather have the extra rib." - Unknown "All extremists should be taken out and shot." - Unknown "The gene pool could use a little chlorine." - Bumper Sticker "Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!" - Bumper Sticker __________________ “Kindness and compassion toward all living things is the mark of a civilized society.”- Cesar Chavez

01-19-2010, 11:12 AM	#1
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	They worship the ground that he walks away from. ~Sarcasm Society

01-28-2010, 08:47 AM	#9
NJFemmie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?: I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status: Still loving my Mare ;) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New Jersey Posts: 4,683 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,343 Thanked 11,419 Times in 2,976 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	And which dwarf are you? I refuse to star in your psychodrama. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. Whisper my favorite words: "I'm leaving now." __________________

01-28-2010, 12:56 PM	#10
dreadgeek Power Femme How Do You Identify?: Cinnamon spiced, caramel colored, power-femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married to a wonderful horse girl Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Lat: 45.60 Lon: -122.60 Posts: 1,733 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,132 Thanked 6,841 Times in 1,493 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	The person who wrote the advertisements is without doubt the most ignorant person now alive on the planet; also without doubt he is an idiot, an idiot of the 33rd degree, and scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link. (Mark Twain) Trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing it. (Congressman Barney Frank D-MA) The breathtaking inanity of the...decision is evident when considered against the factual backdrop...(Judge John E. Jones in the case of Kitzmiller v. Dover School Board) I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry him. (Douglas Adams--Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) Unlike in Alice in Wonderland, simply saying something is so does not make it so. (Judge Clay Land Rhodes v. MacDonald) And my all-time favorite snarky statement: "Not only is it not right, it's not even wrong!" (Wolfgang Pauli) Cheers Aj __________________ Proud member of the reality-based community. "People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. And so, the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn’t that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people. As soon as you saw people as things to be measured, they didn’t measure up." (Terry Pratchett)

11-30-2011, 07:38 AM	#12
JAGG Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: JAGG Relationship Status: =) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tulsa (cat free zone) Posts: 6,093 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,651 Thanked 17,531 Times in 4,137 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	"I'm trying to see things from his point of view, but I can't stick my head up my ass that far." "A few more brain cells and he might be dangerous. " " Don't go away mad, just go away ." __________________ I don't want to spend my life with someone I can live with, I want to spend my life with someone I can't live without.

08-29-2011, 04:44 PM	#13
Jeep Member How Do You Identify?: confused Relationship Status: YEEHAW!!! Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Here Posts: 131 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 51 Thanked 141 Times in 56 Posts Rep Power: 602026	Too tired to go throught them all so this may be a repeat.. One of the few things I remember from highschool was a sign in the office that said: Everyone brings joy into this office; Some when they enter Some when they leave My often-repeated prayer at work: Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they ticked me off ‎5 RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE: 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the jerks name. 3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they're in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to beat them. 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk. Stupidity is not a crime. You're free to go. __________________ I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window~Author Unknown Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. ~Author Unknown Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. ~Author Unknown

08-29-2011, 05:06 PM	#14
NJFemmie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?: I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status: Still loving my Mare ;) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New Jersey Posts: 4,683 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,343 Thanked 11,419 Times in 2,976 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	If stupidity were a crime, you'd be serving a life sentence. __________________

11-15-2011, 08:16 PM	#15
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: blossom Relationship Status: Uranus will retrograde in Gemini Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,586 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,689 Thanked 22,130 Times in 7,203 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	not to punish the vibe in here .. but Uncle Buck's is a classic Tia Russell: Are you crazy? Buck Russell: I can be. Tia Russell: You could have taken his head off! Buck Russell: Yeah, but would he notice?

11-30-2011, 08:38 AM	#16
cinderella Member How Do You Identify?: Pinky's mommy :) Preferred Pronoun?: Su Majestad Relationship Status: Happy with my puppy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Pocono Mtns., Pa. Posts: 1,238 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4 Thanked 1,501 Times in 638 Posts Rep Power: 14266108	Fashion 'statements'... "Poor dear, she went hunting for fashion, and didn't shoot a thing." __________________ Who needs reality when you have Turner Classic Movies!! The is an organ of fire.

11-30-2011, 09:02 AM	#17
JAGG Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: JAGG Relationship Status: =) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tulsa (cat free zone) Posts: 6,093 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,651 Thanked 17,531 Times in 4,137 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	" Well suicide is always an option." " Life is difficult, it's even more difficult when you're stupid." "Don't worry, only the good die young, you have another 100 yrs or so. " __________________ I don't want to spend my life with someone I can live with, I want to spend my life with someone I can't live without.