Sarcasm, Scathing Witticisms & Uninspiring Quotes

Rook · 01-19-2010, 11:32 AM

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac"]YouTube- George Carlin Talks About "Stuff"[/ame]

Rook · 01-19-2010, 11:56 AM

Christ is so cool. He's born, I get presents. He dies, I get candy. ~ Anon

Rook · 01-19-2010, 12:02 PM

Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance

Here's how Powell should have produced his evidence to the UN: "We're absolutely sure Saddam has weapons of mass destruction because WE SOLD THEM TO HIM! And I have the receipts RIGHT HERE!" (Powell holds up receipts)

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

Inuus · 01-19-2010, 12:18 PM

"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy." - Damien Harrison

"Satire is great, but for Nazis you use baseball bats and broken bottles." - Woody Allen

"How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?" Bumper Sticker

"Considering my last relationship, I'd rather have the extra rib." - Unknown

"All extremists should be taken out and shot." - Unknown

"The gene pool could use a little chlorine." - Bumper Sticker

"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!" - Bumper Sticker

NJFemmie · 01-28-2010, 08:47 AM

And which dwarf are you?

I refuse to star in your psychodrama.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Whisper my favorite words: "I'm leaving now."

dreadgeek · 01-28-2010, 12:56 PM

The person who wrote the advertisements is without doubt the most ignorant person now alive on the planet; also without doubt he is an idiot, an idiot of the 33rd degree, and scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link. (Mark Twain)

Trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing it. (Congressman Barney Frank D-MA)

The breathtaking inanity of the...decision is evident when considered against the factual backdrop...(Judge John E. Jones in the case of Kitzmiller v. Dover School Board)

I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry him. (Douglas Adams--Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Unlike in Alice in Wonderland, simply saying something is so does not make it so. (Judge Clay Land Rhodes v. MacDonald)

And my all-time favorite snarky statement:

"Not only is it not right, it's not even wrong!" (Wolfgang Pauli)

Cheers
Aj

SassyLeo · 02-05-2010, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreadgeek

Trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing it. (Congressman Barney Frank D-MA)

Cheers
Aj

I love this!

Thanks for sharing it.

Passionaria · 01-07-2011, 08:58 PM

"Hey I asked for guardian angles, not flying Monkeys fueled by methane!!!! mmmmK?"

I'd like one of the new Mother Focker Alert bracelets. Where are they selling those again????

miss entycing · 01-07-2011, 09:14 PM

don't go away mad... just go away.

JAGG · 11-30-2011, 07:38 AM

"I'm trying to see things from his point of view, but I can't stick my head up my ass that far."

"A few more brain cells and he might be dangerous. "

" Don't go away mad, just go away ."

Inked_Trinity · 11-30-2011, 07:53 PM

Sarcasm! Almost as much fun as Orgasm but you leave your clothes on...

Inked_Trinity · 12-01-2011, 05:24 AM

Therapy helps, but screaming obscenities is cheaper.

Miss July · 12-01-2011, 01:05 PM

Sometimes I need what only you can provide, ABSENCE

I'm smiling, that SHOULD scare you

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm

I'm not a complete idiot, somethings are missing

Pitty party for 1 today?

cinderella · 12-01-2011, 01:15 PM

...pure as the driven snow - now I'm just driven."

~May West

Inked_Trinity · 12-01-2011, 02:53 PM

If you're that A-hole that honks the second the light turns green, I'm that shit head that will sit through that green light & update my Facebook status.

Inked_Trinity · 12-01-2011, 02:59 PM

I'm currently taking applications for an evil sidekick. Must be willing to follow directions and occasionally participate in witty banter.

Inked_Trinity · 12-01-2011, 07:03 PM

On the advice of my attorney, I plead the 5th on EXACTLY what I did for a Klondike Bar.

Inked_Trinity · 12-04-2011, 08:35 AM

I'm fully qualified to not care

Inked_Trinity · 12-05-2011, 07:39 AM

Some days there are just not enough swear words in my vocabulary!!!

Inked_Trinity · 12-05-2011, 08:54 PM

Sometimes you just want to ask people if they own a mirror!

01-19-2010, 11:32 AM	#1
Rook Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?: Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Columbus Posts: 2,280 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,227 Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac"]YouTube- George Carlin Talks About "Stuff"[/ame] __________________

01-19-2010, 11:56 AM	#2
Rook Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?: Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Columbus Posts: 2,280 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,227 Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Christ is so cool. He's born, I get presents. He dies, I get candy. ~ Anon __________________

01-19-2010, 12:02 PM	#3
Rook Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?: Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Columbus Posts: 2,280 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,227 Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance Here's how Powell should have produced his evidence to the UN: "We're absolutely sure Saddam has weapons of mass destruction because WE SOLD THEM TO HIM! And I have the receipts RIGHT HERE!" (Powell holds up receipts) Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got! C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. __________________

01-19-2010, 12:18 PM	#4
Inuus Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Relationship Status: Single Not Looking Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 265 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 242 Thanked 377 Times in 143 Posts Rep Power: 3733068	"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy." - Damien Harrison "Satire is great, but for Nazis you use baseball bats and broken bottles." - Woody Allen "How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?" Bumper Sticker "Considering my last relationship, I'd rather have the extra rib." - Unknown "All extremists should be taken out and shot." - Unknown "The gene pool could use a little chlorine." - Bumper Sticker "Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!" - Bumper Sticker __________________ “Kindness and compassion toward all living things is the mark of a civilized society.”- Cesar Chavez

01-28-2010, 08:47 AM	#5
NJFemmie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?: I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status: Still loving my Mare ;) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New Jersey Posts: 4,683 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,343 Thanked 11,420 Times in 2,976 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	And which dwarf are you? I refuse to star in your psychodrama. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. Whisper my favorite words: "I'm leaving now." __________________

01-28-2010, 12:56 PM	#6
dreadgeek Power Femme How Do You Identify?: Cinnamon spiced, caramel colored, power-femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married to a wonderful horse girl Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Lat: 45.60 Lon: -122.60 Posts: 1,733 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,132 Thanked 6,844 Times in 1,493 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	The person who wrote the advertisements is without doubt the most ignorant person now alive on the planet; also without doubt he is an idiot, an idiot of the 33rd degree, and scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link. (Mark Twain) Trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing it. (Congressman Barney Frank D-MA) The breathtaking inanity of the...decision is evident when considered against the factual backdrop...(Judge John E. Jones in the case of Kitzmiller v. Dover School Board) I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry him. (Douglas Adams--Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) Unlike in Alice in Wonderland, simply saying something is so does not make it so. (Judge Clay Land Rhodes v. MacDonald) And my all-time favorite snarky statement: "Not only is it not right, it's not even wrong!" (Wolfgang Pauli) Cheers Aj __________________ Proud member of the reality-based community. "People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. And so, the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn’t that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people. As soon as you saw people as things to be measured, they didn’t measure up." (Terry Pratchett)

01-07-2011, 08:58 PM	#8
Passionaria Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Urban Bohemian : http://youtu.be/IM96Ch9Gx4A Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: She ran away with with the Gypsy's ✿ Posts: 2,519 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,316 Thanked 3,737 Times in 1,248 Posts Rep Power: 16689910	"Talk to the hand~ Sarcasm" "Hey I asked for guardian angles, not flying Monkeys fueled by methane!!!! mmmmK?" I'd like one of the new Mother Focker Alert bracelets. Where are they selling those again???? __________________ *Moon cat madness*

01-07-2011, 09:14 PM	#9
miss entycing Senior Member How Do You Identify?: dangerous, but worth the risk. Preferred Pronoun?: just be nice.. it's that easy. Relationship Status: CapitalM's carved upon my skin. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: on the southern edge of sanity, under a carolina moon. Posts: 3,276 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,341 Thanked 8,262 Times in 2,254 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	mildy sarcastic- but effective. don't go away mad... just go away. __________________ True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate their life, through devotion, to something beyond themselves. Whenever someone awakens fully, it affects human consciousness at a collective level. It is like dropping a stone into a dark murky pond. Ripples of light... Not one word need be spoken.

11-30-2011, 07:38 AM	#10
JAGG Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: JAGG Relationship Status: =) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tulsa (cat free zone) Posts: 6,093 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,651 Thanked 17,531 Times in 4,137 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	"I'm trying to see things from his point of view, but I can't stick my head up my ass that far." "A few more brain cells and he might be dangerous. " " Don't go away mad, just go away ." __________________ I don't want to spend my life with someone I can live with, I want to spend my life with someone I can't live without.

11-30-2011, 07:53 PM	#11
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Sarcasm! Almost as much fun as Orgasm but you leave your clothes on... __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

12-01-2011, 05:24 AM	#12
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Therapy helps, but screaming obscenities is cheaper. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

12-01-2011, 01:05 PM	#13
Miss July Member How Do You Identify?: Bitchy, Self Sufficient, High Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Mizz (Bitch) Relationship Status: Not LOOKING Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sunny CA Posts: 362 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 158 Thanked 515 Times in 156 Posts Rep Power: 5207567	Sometimes I need what only you can provide, ABSENCE I'm smiling, that SHOULD scare you Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm I'm not a complete idiot, somethings are missing Pitty party for 1 today? __________________ Sorry...................My Give A Damn Meter Is Broken I Am A Bitch, But I Ain't Yo Bitch http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u.../ny/ny1303.gif

12-01-2011, 01:15 PM	#14
cinderella Member How Do You Identify?: Pinky's mommy :) Preferred Pronoun?: Su Majestad Relationship Status: Happy with my puppy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Pocono Mtns., Pa. Posts: 1,238 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4 Thanked 1,501 Times in 638 Posts Rep Power: 14266108	"Once I was... ...pure as the driven snow - now I'm just driven." ~May West __________________ Who needs reality when you have Turner Classic Movies!! The is an organ of fire.

12-01-2011, 02:53 PM	#15
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	If you're that A-hole that honks the second the light turns green, I'm that shit head that will sit through that green light & update my Facebook status. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

12-01-2011, 02:59 PM	#16
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I'm currently taking applications for an evil sidekick. Must be willing to follow directions and occasionally participate in witty banter. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

12-01-2011, 07:03 PM	#17
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	On the advice of my attorney, I plead the 5th on EXACTLY what I did for a Klondike Bar. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

12-04-2011, 08:35 AM	#18
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I'm fully qualified to not care __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

12-05-2011, 07:39 AM	#19
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Some days there are just not enough swear words in my vocabulary!!! __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

12-05-2011, 08:54 PM	#20
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Sometimes you just want to ask people if they own a mirror! __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.